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06-11-2008, 05:30 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 561
| What I am learning
Guilt has plagued my life. It is one of my sins. I have felt guilty because I didn't do enough for my mother in law. I felt I should be doing everything she asked but found I couldn't. I felt guilty for not living up to what I thought I should be. I felt bad, I felt guilty. Anyone could cause me to feel guilty at the drop of a hat. I was easily manipulated. I am still growing out of it. Today I do my best. Today I am realising I don't need to feel guilty, because I am actually doing rather well. I'm not perfect, I'm human and I'm ok. The trouble with behaving like a victim is that people treat you like one. And so it goes on. I have noticed this in my life as I have (very gradually) got stronger. When I've had a 'breakdown', this message has come screaming to me. In the past, I haven't dared acknowledge it too much out of fear of being me. Its taking me a long time to get out of this. Somebody up there must like me as I have been given so much along the way. So many gifts to help me. I am so grateful for that. Today I am not drinking and I am grateful that we have AA to help me with this and in turn help me to be strong and to be me.
__________________ "I've learned from my mistakes and I'm sure I can repeat them exactly." Peter Cook |
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06-11-2008, 07:59 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Follow Directions!  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 7,343
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You are doing well, I try to keep in mind that it is progress & not perfection.
__________________ All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB Follow directions! Sobriety date 18 Sept. 2006 Sober today thanks to AA |
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06-11-2008, 10:06 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Coffee Maker  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,106
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Wow, I can so relate to you. I never thought I was worth anything, that I was a failure in everything. Now I am so much better. I remember when you first showed up here, and I want to tell you that from what I have seen, you have come a long way. Ted
__________________ He, who by good deeds covers the evil he has done, illuminates this world like the moon freed from clouds. Buddha (Not inebriated (Amethystos) since:9/27/07) |
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06-11-2008, 11:42 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 1,314
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I think what you are discovering is that true self-esteem comes from within. It comes from living an esteemable life. A nineteenth century French saint, Therese of Liseaux said this: "Perfection is being who God made you to be." |
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