An Inventory Tool

[Rob B]

A while back, a small group of us started looking at different inventory tools. I use four column for my day to day stuff, the Big Book gives clear examples on how to do this. We were looking for a new experience, a new mechanism to help us face and be rid of that which blocks us. We were guided to the Sacraments of Penance, this has been a powerful tool for self examination. The sacraments look at 10 major areas and offer a series of considerations designed to help us find our truth. I am posting this to be of service, as it has been very helpful to me and my acountability group. This is not AA, nor is it meant to be a substitute for a formal "by the book" 4th step. I will post one area per day. I will be interested in hearing people's experience.
In Spirit, Rob

The following is a copy of the original Sacrament of Penance found in The Traditional St. Augustine’s Prayer Book: ISBN# 1-886412-19-7. The words have been translated verbatim into a word document, the bulleted considerations are my words, taken from a 1st ed. Big Book.

Big Book Considerations in Relation to the Sacraments of Penance:

• “Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.”

• “There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others”

• “Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.”

I. PRIDE

Have you been more interested in self than in God?

Have you made it your chief aim to be always on top?

What have you been vain about; personal appearance, clothes, personality, possessions, your family, ability, success in games or studies?

Have you scorned other people for their misfortunes, their sins, stupidity, or other weaknesses? Scorned other people’s religion?

Talked too much; called attention to yourself?

Been sorry for yourself, self pitying?

Refused to admit when you were in the wrong? Refused to apologize?

Been resentful or suspicious of others through over-sensitiveness?

Have you been stubborn and self-willed? In what ways?

[bballdad]

tks Rob,thats a good inventory-I agree,we should look at different ways to do inventories to discover different things....
I`ll give it a shot


I. PRIDE


Have you been more interested in self than in God?
before AA,always,after the start of AA,sometimes

Have you made it your chief aim to be always on top?
no
What have you been vain about; personal appearance, clothes, personality, possessions, your family, ability, success in games or studies?
success in games or studies-have to answer yes here.....wanting to know more than others

Have you scorned other people for their misfortunes, their sins, stupidity, or other weaknesses? Scorned other people’s religion?
yep,plenty of times,and it happened this week too

Talked too much; called attention to yourself?
no
Been sorry for yourself, self pitying?
yep,before AA,a lot,since AA,some

Refused to admit when you were in the wrong? Refused to apologize?
if I recognize it I will fess up to it.

Been resentful or suspicious of others through over-sensitiveness?
yep

Have you been stubborn and self-willed? In what ways?
yep,my wife just told me this last Sunday a week ago especially concerning my daughter and her boyfriend.
My oldtimer friend has me praying for the knowledge of God`s will for them and the Power to carry it out daily,and to <at least>read step 11<in the 12x12> daily.



nice snapshot of a prideful soul,eh?

[Tazman53]

Thanks Rob, the more tools I have in my tool box the better.

[Rob B]

IDOLATRY
Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven image, nor the likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or in the earth beneath, or in the water under the earth; thou shalt not bow down to them, nor worship them.

Have you put another person before God’s law; by not going to church, or by committing some other sin to please that person?


Have you wanted popularity so much that you have not said your prayers, or done some other good things, for fear of being laughed at?


Have you loved money or clothes too much; or even sinned to get them?


Gone to mediums, fortune-tellers or astrologers?

[caraway]

"Gone to mediums, fortune-tellers or astrologers?"

LOL - It just seems funny - putting that in the AA forum.

Sorry about that - its a great thread though, thanks!

[bballdad]

IDOLATRY
Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven image, nor the likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or in the earth beneath, or in the water under the earth; thou shalt not bow down to them, nor worship them.


Have you put another person before God’s law; by not going to church, or by committing some other sin to please that person?

sure have Rob,many times,but not today-I call this people pleasing gone to the extreme

Have you wanted popularity so much that you have not said your prayers, or done some other good things, for fear of being laughed at?

been there too Rob,I was ashamed of going for the good,jeez,what would my friends think of me?I`ve got this tough guy image to project(in my mind anyway)-what will they think of me if i refuse to go along with them?If they found out I joined AA or Church?
Would they laugh at me if they found I cared about my wife more than a drink?

Have you loved money or clothes too much; or even sinned to get them?

yep,I have done un-mentionable things in the past to get money,and then to use it to get drugs and booze

Gone to mediums, fortune-tellers or astrologers?


nope,never have nor do I ever intend too

sometimes I ask myself the old Chuck C question
what controls me?
There is my idol,my Gods


great thread,keep it going

[Rob B]

Originally Posted by caraway

"Gone to mediums, fortune-tellers or astrologers?"

LOL - It just seems funny - putting that in the AA forum.

Sorry about that - its a great thread though, thanks!

I hear you, it's one of the very few items on this inventory where I can actually say I'm innocent, although I do read my horoscope from time to time, It's not a problem though, I could stop any time I wanted LOL.

Tommy thanks for your courage in sharing your discoveries on this forum.

[caraway]

Well, I really appreciate this thread so I thought I should join in it too - here goes – I could have gone on and on and made it longer but I've tried to keep it short!


IDOLATRY
Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven image, nor the likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or in the earth beneath, or in the water under the earth; thou shalt not bow down to them, nor worship them.

“Have you put another person before God’s law; by not going to church, or by committing some other sin to please that person?”
In the past I have. Being an alcoholic I had few if any friends, I was isolated. I had pride but no self esteem. I'd put up with anything from my then partner just so that he'd stay with me. It took me to the brink of insanity before I could force myself to leave that situation and then it was out of fear for my life – infact I felt at the time that it was my soul that was at stake – rather than because I suddenly decided to be brave. It was a hell of a time but I learnt a lot from it and still am and am in a good relationship now (I think my HP must have been with me when I fell into this one!).

“Have you wanted popularity so much that you have not said your prayers, or done some other good things, for fear of being laughed at?”
Well, I didn't pray much really except out of desperation – like 'please, please help me God!' 'please oh please!' etc.etc. I think I was too busy desperately clinging onto my own life of sorts to have any time for anyone else. Popularity was never a part of my life! Nowadays I make more effort to keep up my conscious contact with God – still needs working on though – because I still worry about what people might think. So yes I still need to think on this one as I don't want my fears to keep me from living God's laws.

Have you loved money or clothes too much; or even sinned to get them?
Never had much of either. Any spare money I had when I was young went on the children – I even put up with white knuckle sobriety in those early days through lack of money and fear for the children. When they got older, any spare money went on beer. So alcohol came before money, clothes, God. Nowadays I can afford a few treats for myself but I really appreciate what I have. And whilst things are nice to have – I know not to put 'stuff' before God.

Gone to mediums, fortune-tellers or astrologers?
LOL. An emphatic YES to this one! Again, this was in the past. I'm happy with my life today and don't feel the need to seek out people who might tell me it'll get better. I now know from experience that they are a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME! Well, they were for me anyway!

[navysteve]

Have you been more interested in self than in God?

Have you made it your chief aim to be always on top?

What have you been vain about; personal appearance, clothes, personality, possessions, your family, ability, success in games or studies?

Have you scorned other people for their misfortunes, their sins, stupidity, or other weaknesses? Scorned other people’s religion?

Talked too much; called attention to yourself?

Been sorry for yourself, self pitying?

Refused to admit when you were in the wrong? Refused to apologize?

Been resentful or suspicious of others through over-sensitiveness?

Have you been stubborn and self-willed? In what ways?

Sounds like a good combination for 10 and 11.

I like checklists ( maybe its a military thing)

We ask especially for freedom from self will

Ask God to direct our thinking

I believe in the four column approach as well ( but it has nothing to do with Joe and Charlie it has everything to do with the Big Book)

[Rob B]

III.PROFANITY

Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Have you sworn? (Especially, have you misused the Holy Name of Jesus?)


Have you given way to anxiety, instead of turning to God for help?


Been worried, afraid, allowed yourself to get into a panic?


Allowed yourself to feel that it was impossible even for God to help you?

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Rob B

III.PROFANITY

Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Have you sworn? (Especially, have you misused the Holy Name of Jesus?)


Have you given way to anxiety, instead of turning to God for help?


Been worried, afraid, allowed yourself to get into a panic?


Allowed yourself to feel that it was impossible even for God to help you?

Profanity is defiling that which is sacred. Not telling the truth or denying the truth is profane. Taking an oath is profane, which is why it is forbidden by some demoninations.

[jimhere]

Personalities above principles is idolatry. Any time I elevate one person over another, I am making an idol of them.

Attachment to material possessions, intellectual knowledge, or even spiritual experience is idolatry.

In AA we worship all sorts of things-our sponsors, our home groups and meetings, the steps, the "promises," the book, certain personalities that are well known speakers, etc.

In the gnostic texts, Jesus is reputed to have said " I point my finger at God and you worship my finger!"
Jim

[bballdad]

III.PROFANITY

Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Have you sworn? (Especially, have you misused the Holy Name of Jesus?)
many times,and today I do not do like I used to do.When I first came to AA,my language was extremely foul.Every sentence had many cuss words in it.

Have you given way to anxiety, instead of turning to God for help?
if you have no relationship with God,you turn to other things

Been worried, afraid, allowed yourself to get into a panic?
never got into much of a panic,but I used to really worry,especially when it was court time and I was facing time..

Allowed yourself to feel that it was impossible even for God to help you?
I used to think God did not want anything to do with me,period.I was beyond loving or forgiving.I was the rottenest human being ever.

[caraway]

Again, this got me thinking and I could have said so much more, but I've tried to keep it short!

Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Have you sworn? (Especially, have you misused the Holy Name of Jesus?)

I used to wonder why this was particularly important. I mean why should my HP or a spiritual leader be so bothered if I use their name as a swear word. So, I've been thinking about this one.
I swore more when I was drinking – especially between drinking episodes. Not so much now. The last time I swore was when I got settled down in the evening doing my beadwork hobby when my mother in law called me again. I said to myself (quietly!) 'what the f*** does she want now!' So I've asked myself what I was doing wrong. Well, I think it was my attitude. I had to do something I didn't want to do. I'm not saying I should be there at her every beck and call but that it was a situation that I had to deal with. Swearing was me being like a child stamping my feet and saying 'I don't want to! I want to play!' So for me, by not swearing, and having a good attitude, I am more likely to do Gods will – which could be called 'obedience' to God's laws – but that obedience can also mean taking responsibility and taking action in accordance with Gods laws – roughly meaning in this instance - get off your arse and deal with it in a way that is fair for everybody.

Have you given way to anxiety, instead of turning to God for help?

I've spent much of my life doing this. But recently I've been turning to God. Last time I was anxious was when I had to do a general share. I prayed beforehand, tried to get into a good frame of mind, and it went ok.

Been worried, afraid, allowed yourself to get into a panic?

Again this is getting less so. Something I have to keep practicing at.



Allowed yourself to feel that it was impossible even for God to help you?

Well, at my lowest, I've cried out to God and Jesus for help. I know that the further away from God I get, the harder it is to climb back into the light. Its taken me a long time but today I do feel that I have been saved through Jesus Christ showing me the way. So I've no reason to doubt – so long as I continue to practice God's Laws as best I can.

[Rob B]

IV. IRREVERENCE

Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath day

Have you missed Mass on Sunday, when you could have gone?

Have you failed to say your prayers morning and night? Or to say them earnestly?

Have you always kept Sunday as you think it ought to be kept?

Have you done some unnecessary work on Sunday?

Have you always tried hard to worship God when in church? Or have you sometimes been irreverent? Or joked about holy things?

Have you ever been ashamed of your Religion: ashamed of Jesus?

[bballdad]

IV. IRREVERENCE

Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath day

Have you missed Mass on Sunday, when you could have gone?

oh yea...easy to lay around the house and make excuses to miss Church,and I am a member of a Church..

Have you failed to say your prayers morning and night? Or to say them earnestly
?
sure have,many times I used to say a prayer when I was in jail..then when I got out,I would forget it and go on drinking.

Have you always kept Sunday as you think it ought to be kept?
no
Have you done some unnecessary work on Sunday?

yes

Have you always tried hard to worship God when in church? Or have you sometimes been irreverent? Or joked about holy things?

I have been to Church high before when I was a young kid.Today,never would I attempt such a thing.

Have you ever been ashamed of your Religion: ashamed of Jesus?

yep,what would my friends say?Ever been embarrassed when someone caught you praying?

[caraway]

IV. IRREVERENCE

Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath day

Have you missed Mass on Sunday, when you could have gone?
Yes, I give into tiredness when maybe I should make more effort. Its a memory of many drinking days when mornings were awful and I'd have to get up no matter what. So now when I can rest its so wonderful to be able to. But I think its time to make more effort not to miss church.

Have you failed to say your prayers morning and night? Or to say them earnestly?
I'm not regular with prayers. I tend to say them when the mood takes me or when I feel in the right frame of mind which might be anywhere, anytime. I am always earnest when praying otherwise I wouldn't call it praying. I've started daily readings but keep mislaying my book. I could pray during this time as I'll be in the frame of mind. More effort there again I think!

Have you always kept Sunday as you think it ought to be kept?
I think its a good idea to set one day a week aside to rest and keep holy. Again, this will take some effort and organisation to make sure certain jobs are done so they don't have to be done on a rest day.

Have you done some unnecessary work on Sunday?
LOL – me... do unnecessary work – you've got to be kidding!!!

Have you always tried hard to worship God when in church? Or have you sometimes been irreverent? Or joked about holy things?
Yes I try to worship God while in church. The atmosphere in a church does make it easier.

Have you ever been ashamed of your Religion: ashamed of Jesus?
Yes, I don't talk about it much! I once told my parents that I'd been saved through Jesus Christ. My mother was ok with it because she became confirmed in the Church of England in later life. My father got confirmed at the same time but doesn't bother with it anymore. Its hard to describe the look on his face but I think I interpreted it as a look of horror/disgust, like there was this big rift between us. Now, I tend to keep any talk on spiritual beliefs quite light hearted and a bit jokey to offset this discomfort. Same with other people, some people are quite anti-religious and I suppose I just don't feel I've put my feelings on the subject into words enough to really stand up to any attack. I suppose I should give it somemore thought so that I can have the courage to stand firm in my beliefs. At least my husband is a catholic so he's ok with it!

All this reminds me of something I read must be about 25 years ago now – that to have freedom you have to have discipline. So, starting with small steps like finding my daily reading book again and using it morning and night, I think I'll start to get a few more regular patterns to my life.

[Rob B]

V.DISOBEDIENCE

Honor thy father and thy mother.

Have you been grateful enough for all your parents have done for you?

Did you ever disobey them or others who were over you; or did you ever obey them slowly and reluctantly?

Have your actions ever caused them anxiety or shame?

Have you ever deliberately disobeyed God or ignored his desires for you? In what way?

Have you ever shown disregard for the laws of the Church? For the laws of the land?

Have you contributed as much as you ought to the support and happiness of your parents?

What sins have you committed with regards to your wife, husband, children, or others members of your family?

Have you given as much care and attention as possible to the religious life of your family; for example, with regards to Grace at meals, family prayers,Church-going,etc.

Have you seen that your children had adequate and continuous religious instruction?

Have you been just and generous to people in your employment or under your authority in business? In what ways have you failed?

Have you tried to dominate the lives of others unduly? How?

[bballdad]

V.DISOBEDIENCE

Honor thy father and thy mother.


Have you been grateful enough for all your parents have done for you?

when I was a teenager,I knew nothing of gratitude.It was all about me and my drinking.
I lied,used,manipulated,stole from my parents,and yours too if I could.
As my mom lay dying of cancer in the hospital,I lied to her and went drinking,using her illness as a means to get symphony from others and to get them to buy me drinks.
Any of you moms out there want another son like me?
Thank God for this way of life,and forgiveness and amends.
If you have a Mom today,work on that relationship and love her.

Did you ever disobey them or others who were over you; or did you ever obey them slowly and reluctantly?

both are yes....

Have your actions ever caused them anxiety or shame?
oh yes,I put them thru hell for many years.They had tried to do the best they could,and I believe they did,but never the less,I was a alcoholic.

Have you ever deliberately disobeyed God or ignored his desires for you? In what way?

sure,self will run riot regardless of the feelings,wants,needs and possessions of others or God.

Have you ever shown disregard for the laws of the Church? For the laws of the land?
I was above the law,the laws did not apply to me I was so anti social.

Have you contributed as much as you ought to the support and happiness of your parents?
my mom died in 1979 and I got sober in 1988.1 1/2 yrs later my dad dies.We had 1 1/2 yrs of a pretty good relationship and again,thank God for forgiveness and amends.

What sins have you committed with regards to your wife, husband, children, or others members of your family?
I`ll have ot get back on this one,there are way too many to list

Have you given as much care and attention as possible to the religious life of your family; for example, with regards to Grace at meals, family prayers,Church-going,etc.

we pray before meals,and sometimes have discussions about spiritual or religious issues.My kids are grown now and when they was young we went to Church a lot.

Have you seen that your children had adequate and continuous religious instruction?
As I look back,I could have done much better.

Have you been just and generous to people in your employment or under your authority in business?
Yes

Have you tried to dominate the lives of others unduly? How?
I try not too,but I find I want too sometimes.Letting go is a difficult thing concerning your kids.Especially when you know a better way.You have to let them learn their own lessons from life sometimes and it comes hard like it does us grownups.



tks Rob.Good way to get started before I shove off to do my days work.I`m grateful for my family and AA today.I`ll try and find a way to show it.

[caraway]

V.DISOBEDIENCE

Honor thy father and thy mother.
Actually I have a bit of a problem with this one! All in all my parents were ok – but some people have down right bad parents! I think there should be another rule that says 'honour your children'.

Have you been grateful enough for all your parents have done for you?
When I was younger I wasn't. I didn't get on with them at all well. Its taken me a long time to accept them and love them as the human beings they are. We get on very well now and I'm grateful to them although even now I remember things that give me a terrible sense of betrayal by them so I still have things to keep working on.



Did you ever disobey them or others who were over you; or did you ever obey them slowly and reluctantly?
I think I generally did as I was told. Maybe reluctantly sometimes but then sometimes I think I had reason to disagree with them! I mean, respecting someone doesn't mean you agree with everything they say and do. And sometimes the people over you aren't following Gods Laws themselves, so its not that simple.

Have your actions ever caused them anxiety or shame?
Yes! Very much so. I'm an alcoholic so I'll leave it at that!

Have you ever deliberately disobeyed God or ignored his desires for you? In what way?
I don't think I deliberately set out to disobey Gods Laws, I just didn't know how to cope with the circumstances I found myself in.

Have you ever shown disregard for the laws of the Church? For the laws of the land?
I'm still quite new to the church and have never felt there was much in the way of laws imposed on me –