9th Step Amend #1 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA · 06-03-2008, 05:03 AM

So, I've gotten the green light to go ahead with my amend to my exH. I've worked on quite a few, but this is the first one that I've been able to proceed with. I'll be meeting with him tonight. It's been a few days since I've asked him to set aside some time for me.

I find myself getting all sentimental these last few days about our lives together, and yes, there is some regret for how things turned out there. It's sorta been throwing me for a loop. Then last night I asked HP in my prayers to help me to see things clearly, and to get some peace with all this, and I had a very revealing dream. I feel better today.

Just asking for some prayers from you guys, that all goes as well as can be expected tonight. Thanks!

Karen

Tazman53 · 06-03-2008, 06:41 AM

Karen you will be in my prayers, it looks as though you have turned this over, just keep it turned over and remember it is not about what he may have done, it is our side of the street we are to clean.

ananda · 06-03-2008, 06:49 AM

kinda untraditional, but i try to also share a little of my gratitude for the person's role in my life at the end of the amend process/talk. Amends has almost become my own internal gratitude list over time.

***miss communicat*** · 06-03-2008, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ananda

kinda untraditional, but i try to also share a little of my gratitude for the person's role in my life at the end of the amend process/talk. Amends has almost become my own internal gratitude list over time.

I love that.

warrens · 06-03-2008, 10:59 AM

Great thread and great replies. You are all some cool people that make the world a better place. I forgive all of your greenhouse gases.

Karen, I hope you will let us know how it goes. You are an inspiration to all of us.

warren

bballdad · 06-03-2008, 12:54 PM

Karen,you got it!

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA · 06-03-2008, 05:52 PM

Looks like tomorrow night works better..keep those prayers comin!

Nan, yes, I too have ended the amend with some gratitude for the things he has done. I think it's a great way to do it!

GrouchoTheCat · 06-03-2008, 05:53 PM

Karen,

This is wonderful.

You are on the right path.

Ted

BP44 · 06-03-2008, 08:57 PM

I have found that the making of amends is about setting the other person free. The approach that I make is " I have harmed you, how can I balance the books and make this right." I already know what I did to these people, but I'm so selfish that I have no idea what it did to them. One of the greatest harms I did to most people was to rob them of their emotional security. Some I robbed them of their time. I kept giving my family hope. The list goes on. This is important work.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA · 06-04-2008, 07:31 PM

One down, 104 to go.

Whew.

06-03-2008, 05:03 AM	#1 (permalink)
NOMOMERLOTMAMMA No more merlot, more mamma Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Hills, Ct Posts: 2,033 Blog Entries: 36	9th Step Amend #1 So, I've gotten the green light to go ahead with my amend to my exH. I've worked on quite a few, but this is the first one that I've been able to proceed with. I'll be meeting with him tonight. It's been a few days since I've asked him to set aside some time for me. I find myself getting all sentimental these last few days about our lives together, and yes, there is some regret for how things turned out there. It's sorta been throwing me for a loop. Then last night I asked HP in my prayers to help me to see things clearly, and to get some peace with all this, and I had a very revealing dream. I feel better today. Just asking for some prayers from you guys, that all goes as well as can be expected tonight. Thanks! Karen __________________ But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. ~Vincent van Gogh

06-03-2008, 06:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
Tazman53 Follow Directions! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Fredericksburg, Va. Posts: 7,343	Karen you will be in my prayers, it looks as though you have turned this over, just keep it turned over and remember it is not about what he may have done, it is our side of the street we are to clean. __________________ All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB Follow directions! Sobriety date 18 Sept. 2006 Sober today thanks to AA

06-03-2008, 10:59 AM	#5 (permalink)
warrens Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: 49 degrees north Posts: 811	Great thread and great replies. You are all some cool people that make the world a better place. I forgive all of your greenhouse gases. Karen, I hope you will let us know how it goes. You are an inspiration to all of us. warren __________________ The thrill is gone The thrill is gone away... B.B. King

06-03-2008, 12:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
bballdad Is my work solid so far? Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. Posts: 1,155	Karen,you got it! __________________ give freely of what you find and join us

06-03-2008, 05:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
NOMOMERLOTMAMMA No more merlot, more mamma Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Hills, Ct Posts: 2,033 Blog Entries: 36	Looks like tomorrow night works better..keep those prayers comin! Nan, yes, I too have ended the amend with some gratitude for the things he has done. I think it's a great way to do it! __________________ But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. ~Vincent van Gogh

06-03-2008, 06:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 7,537	kinda untraditional, but i try to also share a little of my gratitude for the person's role in my life at the end of the amend process/talk. Amends has almost become my own internal gratitude list over time.

06-03-2008, 05:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
GrouchoTheCat Coffee Maker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lobstah Land Posts: 1,106	Karen, This is wonderful. You are on the right path. Ted __________________ He, who by good deeds covers the evil he has done, illuminates this world like the moon freed from clouds. Buddha (Not inebriated (Amethystos) since:9/27/07)

06-03-2008, 08:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
BP44 Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Cumming, Ga Posts: 422	I have found that the making of amends is about setting the other person free. The approach that I make is " I have harmed you, how can I balance the books and make this right." I already know what I did to these people, but I'm so selfish that I have no idea what it did to them. One of the greatest harms I did to most people was to rob them of their emotional security. Some I robbed them of their time. I kept giving my family hope. The list goes on. This is important work.

06-04-2008, 07:31 PM	#10 (permalink)
NOMOMERLOTMAMMA No more merlot, more mamma Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Hills, Ct Posts: 2,033 Blog Entries: 36	One down, 104 to go. Whew. __________________ But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. ~Vincent van Gogh

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