The Best Defense Is No Defense

[jimhere]

Recently, on a thread in the Alcoholism forum, I 've noticed A.A. members defending Alcoholics Anonymous from a percieved attack, a few quite angrily.

Now I'm not pointing fingers, I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to defending A.A. We are passionate people and are sometimes fiercely protective of what has given us our lives.

I've wasted a lot of time and energy fighting to change other's opnions. I've come to believe that whether or not A.A. lives or goes by the wayside, I can't afford to fight anymore. We talk a lot about the 12 Steps, but not much about the 12 Traditions and 12 Concepts.

I think it's ok to disagree with Bill Wilson. He said that Traditions are to the group as the Steps are to the individual. That leaves out a whole set of principles to which I can apply to my individual life.

From The A.A. Service Manual, Concept XII, Warranty 5

*Warranty 5: "That no Conference Action ever be personally punitive or an incitement to public controversy."*

I'm going to start with the first paragraph, page 70 (my service manual is a 2000-2001 edition)

*"For much the same reason we cannot and should not enter into public controversy, even in self-defense. Our experience has shown that A.A. has been made exempt from the need to quarrel with anybody, no matter what the provocation. Nothing could be more damaging to our unity and to the worldwide goodwill which A.A.enjoys than public contention, no matter how promising the immediate dividends might appear.
Therefore it is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is an exacting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And even though we are now sober, the old patterns of behavior are to a degree still with us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse. But we know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the frace to exert an effective restraint.

Bill goes on to say that we have some natural advantages which should make our task of self-restraint easier. He says that most people, even though they may not approve of A.A.'s methods, won't object if a bunch of drunks get sober. That's a good thing that most can agree on, and if in the process we alkies devolop some honesty, tolerance, and humility no one is going to gripe about that either. We coperate with and share our principles freely with anyone. We have no basis in reform or political arenas. We pay our own way and stick to our single purpose. Back to the service manual:

"These are some of the reasons why A.A. can easily be at peace with the whole world. These are the natural advantages which we must never throw away by foolishly entering the areana of public controversy or punitive action against anybody.
Because our General Service Conference represents us all, (note: to the public I am Alcoholics Anonymous, therefore, although I do not speak for us all, I represent us all) this body is charged with the duty of setting the highest possible standard with respect to these attitudes of no punishment and no public controversy. The Conference will have to do more than just represent these principles; it will frequently have to apply them to specific situations. (I as an individual am also charged with this duty)
...Let us suppose that A.A. does fall under sharp public attack or heavy ridicule; and let us take the particular case where such pronouncements happen to have little or no justification in fact.
Almost without exception it can be confidently estimated that our best defense in these situations would be no defense whatever-namely, complete silence at the public level. Unreasonable people are stimulated all the more by opposition. If in good humour we leave them strictly alone, they are apt to subside the more quickly. If their attacks persist and it is plain that they are misinformed, it may be wise to communicate with them in a temperate and informative way, also in such a manner that they cannot use our communication as a springboard for fresh assault....such messages from us should never question the motives of the attackers; they should be purely informative. These communications should also be private. If made public, they will often be seized upon as a fresh excuse for controversy.
If, however, a given critcism of A.A. is partly or wholly justified, it may be well to acknowledge this privately to the critics, together with our thanks-still keeping away, however, from the public level.
But under no conditions should we exhibit anger or any punitive or aggresive intent. Surely this should be our inflexible policy...."*

I believe this gives me a workable and practical set of principles to live in and relate to the world in which I am a part.

I would also add that many A.A.'s beleve we should avoid any sort of controversy within A.A. Controversy for the sake of controversy is not a good thing, but healthy debate is. It is one of the ways that I learn and grow and it is how our groups arrive at an informed group conscience.
Jim

*from The A.A. Service Manual combined with Twelve Concepts for World Service, 2000-2001 Edition

[miss communicat]

this is good. thank you.

[RufusACanal]

I have printed your post Jim for continued reading. I believe I need to look more closely at my position and thinking. For all that we are here on SR, I have read the change in the way you approach posts and threads of late and the example is noticeable and admirable. By way of a brand new excuse; a disgruntled Stephen A. Douglas has possessed me of late, it is not my fault, but his.

[caraway]

Great post Jim. It would make a good sticky - I always need reminding!

[nandm]

Jim, darn it I hate it when someone else is right :rof

Just kidding. Thank you for the reminder, I am definitately one that needs it.

[Signal30]

Energy spent on crusading and defending AA should be instead spent on practicing the true principals of the program by helping each other and practicing the steps in our lives.

In AA our actions speak volumes. We need not concern ourselves about others opinions on AA, it takes time away from doing Gods will.

At least that's how I see it.


Tom

[RufusACanal]

I am a Crusader. OK, my dirty secret is out. So I can't blame Stephen A Douglas's spirit possessing me - grrrrrr, and I was such a good crusader too!

[miss communicat]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

I am a Crusader. OK, my dirty secret is out. So I can't blame Stephen A Douglas's spirit possessing me - grrrrrr, and I was such a good crusader too!

I am ashamed to admit my ignorance, but who is Stephen A Douglas?

[Pinkcuda]

I saw the thread. I didn't reply for a number of reasons. First off, AA doesn't need me to defend it. Countless numbers have been spared a life of mysery through the principles of AA. Occasionally someone tries to spread a negative word about it. I just hope that most will form their own opinion about AA instead of taking a letter against as fact. Go find out for yourself.
Herbet Spencer said it best. What he said is so profound, it's worthy of print in the big Book.

[Signal30]

Sooooooooooooo....

What your saying is that I'm not allowed to use my AA triangle Chinese Stars on all the AA haters???

What about my Sword Of The Twelve Steps of fury???

Darn, good thing I'm having a yard sale this summer.


Tom

[bballdad]

I believe when Bill came up with some of those concepts,he may not have been aware of what the future held.The GSC has had(or felt like they had) to be involved in matters,in public, involving non alcoholics,which did bring about controversies.
So,what happens when we fail to live a step,tradition or concept perfectly?
We`re just human.My sponsor points out to me the best we can all do is to live in the spirit of them all,especially the concepts and traditions.

controversy can be good for a person or group,when it prompts us to grow

[Dee74]

Originally Posted by miss communicat

I am ashamed to admit my ignorance, but who is Stephen A Douglas?

Democratic Presidential nominee 1860 - defeated by Abe Lincoln ?
that's all for my memory banks LOL

I plead my Australian nationality LOL
D

[bballdad]

Originally Posted by Dee74

Democratic Presidential nominee 1860 - defeated by Abe Lincoln ?
that's all for my memory banks LOL

I plead my Australian nationality LOL
D

which one did you vote for?
lol
just kidding Dee,don`t flog me

[Tazman53]

I have a long way to go on biting my tongue, I think I am doing better, but catch myself still doing this!!!! This is probably the hardest thing for me to do here. I can not get it out of my head that someone may die because of something someone said here. I know.... I know!!!!

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

I have a long way to go on biting my tongue, I think I am doing better, but catch myself still doing this!!!! This is probably the hardest thing for me to do here. I can not get it out of my head that someone may die because of something someone said here. I know.... I know!!!!

Truth of the matter is that someone could die. That is why I am careful of what I say and how I say it, even to the point of picking which word to use.

Everything I say or do has the potential to affect many. Both in and out of AA.

[Sheryl85]

Right now I can't help but think of that part in the BB which talks about how we've ceased fighting anything or anyone because sanity had returned. Continuing with that thought process and adding to the fact that if we are to practice these principles in all our affairs, then to argue such a point with anyone would equal insanity.

Just a rambling thought I had.

On a humorous note...

The Twelve Steps = Suicide Prevention

The Twelve Traditions = Homicide Prevention

[caraway]

Originally Posted by jimhere

Truth of the matter is that someone could die. That is why I am careful of what I say and how I say it, even to the point of picking which word to use.

Everything I say or do has the potential to affect many. Both in and out of AA.

The thing is what might kill one person might save another. For instance, for me I find angry, self righteous AA defenders turn me away from AA. In the past I have been 'put off' AA by strong AA members spouting AA platitudes that had no meaning for me. Whereas, people who pick faults with AA whether they're members or not, I don't have a problem with – they certainly don't put me off AA. I just see those people as still searching and often find that those people quite humble – if not humble then very human – which is very attractive!

[ananda]

Yeah - Although i take this disease very seriously, i also know tht i don't know what words will help or hurt another. I have heard people share things that have just changed one person's life for the better and yet really messed up someone else. It seems to me on coming back to AA that there are no more or less people getting sober, just different ones.