Please help me! I need an experienced sponsor's advice

[JoeJ]

Hi, I'm 17 and I think I have a problem with amphetamines and weed (believe it or not, I think weed's been the strongest and oldest addiction of mine).

My father is in AA, and makes all the local AA and NA meetings. For personal reasons I'd rather not tell him about my situation just yet.

His former sponsor (they stopped talking for a long time after my dad became a dry drunk for the last 3 years) is a really great guy, and a very well known figure in Long Island AA. I've also known him since my early childhood. That being said, I can't think of a person I'd rather go to for help than him.

I'm scared because since my dad started going to meetings again recently he's been talking with him on and off. I really don't want him to tell my dad that I came to him for help or that I may have a drug problem.

If you were in this situation would you keep this a secret and try to help or inform my father? Or, more importantly, what would be the by-the-books AA/NA way of handling this?

Thanks for any help you can give, and the sooner I have an answer the sooner I can act. I really can't keep living like this.

[JoeJ]

Hey I know this is an AA forum but I double posted this from the NA forum. No one's viewing it and I really need answers. I think everything in the post translates to AA principles well enough.

[jimhere]

If it were me, I'd keep what goes on between us between us. But I'd also ask you this:

Can you maintain living the double life and the lie? At some point you will have to get honest and it is quite possible that you won't be able to maintain any kind of abstinence until you do. In fact,if I were your sponsor I would insist that you come clean with your dad or I wouldn't be able to work with you.
Jim

[JoeJ]

thanks a lot Jim. you make a good point. I'm gonna try to delete this thread since I got a response in the NA forums (otherwise, please redirect any comments you may have to my other thread)

[Signal30]

When the time and place comes I'm sure your father will be there for you for support. He uses the tools AA provides for him to be able to handle anything he encounters in life.

You are extremely lucky to have a father in the program. Many of our parents that aren't alcoholics/addicts and are not in AA or NA simply don't and can't understand the cunning, baffling, and powerful traits that accompany the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction.

This situation is yours and no one elses. Your sobriety is top priority. You can call an inter group member that usually mans the phones on a hot line in your area where you can talk to a person about your situation. I understand that at this point, you do not want to tell your father. However, you should not let this situation keep you from going to a meeting.

If you know what meetings he goes to, go to different meetings. Perhaps go to meetings on the other side of town you live in. Call an AA hot line as I said before and perhaps they can help you find a meeting. Maybe a meeting for the younger age group. They can assist you in finding one of these type of meetings.

You can also go to NA meetings. If you father doesent go to NA meetings then there's nothing to concern yourself about.

My son is only two. Right now my only concerns is that he eats his meals, and potty training...lol.

However if my son ever has a problem with alcohol and/or drugs, I will be there for him as a father and as a member of the fellowship of AA. I'm sure your father will be there for you.



Tom

[collinsmi]

You know, this sort of thing may run in the family. I have 2 daughters, 15 and 18, and I look for signs of chemical dependency in them. If it happens, it happens. They're still my daughters, and I'll still love them, no matter what they do. Besides, with my past, I can't wave the finger.

I don't know much about drug addiction, tried pot and speed, but they were never problems for me. It sounds like you're worrying about a tertiary issue, the main thing might be to do what's necessary for your recovery and the answer to the father thing will probably fall right in to place. That's how things went for me early on.

[JoeJ]

hey collinsmi, can i just say since addiction is genetic, don't put your kids on add medication >_<

i started out young on ritalin, we're talking around 9. By ten i was hoarding them and taking way too many at a time. Not habitually, but for fun. that made me cocky and i started with weed, then tried all kinds of nasty stuff like coke by age 14 and acid age...i dont know.

my two main drugs have always been amphetamines and weed. weed because i'm depressed and its basicly just something to do (a pretty f***ing stupid hobby) and meth these days cause one little adderol scrip a month don't cut it by a long shot.

All because I'm pre-disposed to this **** and i basicly grew up on amphetamines.

[CarolD]

This thread is closed by request from JoeJ

Please cntinue to share on his other thread
if you have more to share.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...o-sponsor.html (Please tell me what you would do as a sponsor)