opportunities

[bballdad]

I`m Tommy and I am a alcoholic


When we had our Big Book Study last Tuesday night,a Spanish man we know named Tomas shared about how he had 30 days sober now.His wife had filed for divorce and she meant it this time.It`s over.
He was sober in AA before and relapsed last year after 3 years sober.
Then he said,I had the opportunity to be a good sober husband,and the opportunity to have a loving family.I did not take that opportunity and now they are gone.I did not practice AA in my life.In AA we have many opportunities he said.Opportunities to bring good things into our families life,in our life.
I believe Tomas is correct.Lets share our E S H concerning our opportunities..past and present..how do you see it?

tks
have a good weekend everyone

[Tazman53]

Man that had to be rough, but at least he didn't say to hell with it and continue to drink.

I thought I had lost my family when I went into detox, they had a place all ready to move into. Well I came out of detox and they were still there, when I asked my wife if they were going to stay her response was 2 words and that was it "We'll see!"

Well it has been 20 months, I am still sober, working a good program and they are still there.

I so far have taken my opportunities and run with them instead of running away from them.

[Pinkcuda]

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. the second best time is right now.
I have visions of the day when I am begging for just one more chance to do the right thing. Whether it be the Doctor, the Judge or my Wife telling me that it's too late for that now and my life is over as I know it, I will still be begging for another chance that I will never get.
That time has come and gone. I am making the best of the second chance that I got years ago.

[laurie6781]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Opportunities.

Yes, I was given a second chance, it will be 27 years on June 7th and somehow I knew it was my LAST chance.

I followed suggestions to the best of my ability in early recovery, usually kicking and screaming, but I did them. As time passes and I worked the steps, my life got better. So many things and people have been put before me in these years I couldn't begin to relate all of them here. One that does stand out is that my 2nd sponsee became homeless (not of her making) and I spoke with my sponsor about letting her move into the guest bedroom. Bev thought it would be all right so I offered the room.

My sponsee jumped on it and it was good for both of us, she lived with me for 1 1/2 years and we've had had a 22 year relationship, very close relationship. She is living in Norway now and has for the last 7+ years (thank HP for telephones and thank Qwest for their low International package). We develope a friendship that will last into the beyond.

There have been numerous different kinds of opportunities..............................at a time when I had some extra cash a friend was going through some really rough times, her hubby had had several heart attacks, couldn't work, etc.....I chose to send her some money for several months running, she promised profusely to repay me, I said NO, when the time comes PASS IT ON.

That friend holds down a full time job, her hubby has slowly gotten better, and she was offered a 2nd job............................................... .........as Manager and Overseer of a Recovery Home for Alcoholic and Drug Addicted Women.

She would no longer even have still been in that area had not she received help from several friends in recovery. HP's will? I believe so. Now she is passing it on where and when needed.

Opportunities, oh yes, and many times we don't know that that is what they are until days, weeks, months, or even years later.

I have learned to "keep my mind open" and I ask HP daily to help me be aware of what is going on around me.

Have I missed out on opportunites? H*ll yes. Whether too blind, or too judgmental, or too stupid. However, there again, in hindsight, I have to believe that they were just not suppose to be.

I do believe it goes back to THE PROMISES, the one that says:

"We will intuitively know how to handle things that used to baffle us." That is all encompassing, at least for this alkie. It covers the good, the bad, and the possibilities.

It works for me.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[Rob B]

Nice post Tommy,
Each day I have the opportunity to be a living expression of the power that separated me from alcohol, God. This manifests in numerous ways, when I am truly connected I am in my natural state, joy. This transmutes any negatives that may come. I pray that I don't fall asleep and miss opportunities, sometimes they are subtle and I do miss them. When I feel disconected, I use this prayer "Father, please show me in obvious ways how to serve you" this works quite well.

[navysteve]

When you want to know about my program, ask my kids or my girlfriend. The big meeting lasts 23 hours. I can go to an AA meeting and spout off about my vast knowledge about the Big Book but if my family life is falling apart, or I am engaging in other behaviors that collide with the twleve steps then I am truly not aligned with my God. Being recovered from alcoholism not only gives me freedom, but also a responsibility. Every day I must carry the message I found in the Big Book. Unfortunately, the Big Book is the best place to hide something from an alcoholic, because they never want to read it

[Signal30]

As I've said before in various posts, nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. Everything happens for a reason. We may not know what those reasons are, but usually we figure it out when God decides it's time for us to know.

When my ex-wife left me I thought my life was over. If it wasn't for her leaving, I would not have the loving family I have today. Could of, would of, should of, I tend not to bother thinking about much anymore because I cannot change the past. I can only do my best to make the amends to those I wronged, and learn from mistakes and missed opportunities I have made. Perhaps that's what some missed opportunities are, they are lessons and learning experiences. Most of us have doctorates in the School of Hard Knocks.


Tom

[bballdad]

my daughter is tossing around a idea I don`t like.I just don`t like her thinking on this one.Last night I got to thinking about it and I got grumpy.
well,a oldtimer friend in AA I talked to got me to step 11,and had me write in her name in step 11,praying for the knowledge of His will for Melissa ...
and told me to pray it every day this week..and I would be amazed at the peace I would have with it..I told him I would and I am...he shared his experience with his children and how he did this and what the benefits was in his sobriety..so,a opportunity to grow for me and a opportunity to be of service for him..and another opportunity for God to direct us all.

Bill W mentioned something called "stepping stones for growth" once.Thats a good way to put it

[Sugah]

Twenty-two years ago, one of my high school guidance counselors told me that I pissed away a chance to be valedictorian of my graduating class. When I was drinking, I used to ruminate on those words, kicking myself for not "living up to my potential." Then I'd have another drink to make myself "feel better."

Saturday, I graduated from college - as valedictorian of my graduating class. I never expected it, I never dreamed it, but then again, I also didn't shrug off the responsibilities once I was a student again and and just did what was in front of me to do.

I have clung to relationships and circumstances and thought many a time that I would die without them. I spent much time in regret. Then, I was taught by a very wise woman who was taught by a very wise woman who was taught by a very wise woman (you get the idea) that the effort in walking the path is up to me. Where that path leads is up to my Higher Power.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[navysteve]

That is awesome Sugah!!!!!!! I am working on my Masters Degree now. I came into the rooms broken, took me five years just to learn how to hold a job and now I am doing this. Miracles do happen here

[Sugah]

Originally Posted by navysteve

Miracles do happen here

Amen, brother!

Thank you, and blessings on your own journey. "Trudgery" isn't drudgery!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[navysteve]

Trudge means to walk with a purpose. There is nothing arduous about that!

[miss communicat]

what a beautiful, positive thread!!

sobriety has allowed me to see the many amazing opportunities that present themselves in my life and to have the focus to embrace those that mean the most to me and my loved ones.

an example: in sobriety, i've been given the opportunity to heal a very broken mother-daughter relationship with my daughter, which, in turn, helps me to heal the long line of wounds in my family between mothers and daughters. I live in forgiveness and peace around things that used to disturb me. as a result, i can be of help to others who suffer.

another example: in sobriety, i have been given the opportunity to be a good friend and to honestly care about others, who have opened their homes and their lives to me. I know these opportunities would never have been there if I remained active, for when I was active, i was a liability, definitely not an asset in your life.

last example: in sobriety i am faced often with the opportunity to drink, and to me, it feels the same as facing a fork in the road: one way is LIFE, the other way is DEATH. Its quite black or white to me.

[jimhere]

I'm not one of those people that believe that I earned my chair in Alcoholics Anonymous. I was given back my life as a free and clear gift in the middle of January 1991. As the old saying goes, what I do with that gift is my gift back to you and back to God.

I've been given many second chances. I've had many gifts that I didn't take care of and now I don't have them. I've squandered the hours that might have been worthwhile. When I first got sober, I felt so much remorse for what Id done with my life that I wasted a lot of energy trying to make for lost time and missed opportunities. What I've learned is that you can't get back lost time. Once it's gone it is gone. And the only opportunity and the only time is now. Make the best of now.

They say that God looks after fools and drunks and I've been both. In 1986 I was twenty-six years old. I was a logger and at the peak of my physical condition. I had it going on. I had a house that was bought and paid for. I could command a good high paying job anytime I wanted. I bought new trucks every other year, I had toys, I had the marriage, and the family. I took that all for granted.

In the mid-eighties, booze still worked for me. It was an exhilirating and important part of my life. I was in the bar every night after work and it seemed that when I had a few drinks that not only was I part of the crowd, but that the crowd grew up around me. During that time I was taking a lot speed to maintain that as well.

One morning I went to work with a monumental hangover. Logging is a dangerous game and you have to be on your toes. Well, I was not on my toes that day. I was off in la-la land not paying attention and got crushed in between two pieces of heavy equipment. We were seventeen miles off the paved road and I had to be life-flighted to the hospital. There was a man on our crew who was a logger during the week and a preacher in a little church on Sundays. We were cursing and blasphemous in his presence, but he was good natured about it. One time he said to me, kiddingly, "I'm not going to stand by you guys in case lightning comes down!" I found out later that at the time of my accident, he was kneeling in the mud at my side praying while the helicopter was coming. Later the paramedics told me that I had for all practical purposes died twice during the flight.

The preacher came to see me in the hospital and a few times while I was laid up at home. He talked to me about God and got me to thinking about the way I had been living. But I wasn't done. I didn't work for almost three years and as soon as I was able I was drinking more than ever. This was the beginning of a downward spiral that lasted five years. My moral health began to erode, I lived totally against what I knew to be true and right. I began to want to stop drinking, but couldn't. I became a violent, nasty drunk and wasn't getting relief from booze anymore. Finally, in November 1990 I came to in a flea bag motel room and everything was gone and I had nowhere to go. I realized in a drunken fog that I had ran out of options and that I couldn't drink and that I couldn't quit. I was graced with the truth and given the gift of desperation. Two months later the power of God seperated me from alcohol for the last time.

After I got sober, I called that preacher and thanked him for the gift he had given me and told him his prayers had been answered.
Jim

Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition

[miss communicat]

jim

powerful.

thank you

[barb dwyer]

The simple truth that I am here at all ... is a continual opportunity.

Like Laurie and Jim .. and Carol ... I'm a 'last chance'er"...
and I TRY to keep that formost in all my thoughts and actions.

I don't always succeed.
But I try.

Every breath is an opportunity for me.
Every newcomer.
Every handshake.
Every sunrise.

I'm keenly aware of the transitory nature of this existance in a way I never was before.

I agree - this is a very GOOD thread. I needed to focus on that today.

thank you.

[bballdad]

thanks Jim and everyone for a great thread.
I am thankfull to see all the posts.They are very inspiring to me.