Time to dedicate to meetings, step work?

[Last Call]

I have 42 days sober in this stretch. I have been going to meetings, but have not renewed my relationship with my sponsor, or started in on step work. As the weather improves I find I am getting distracted by outdoor activities. As a result I didn't make a meeting for 5 days last week, finally making one last night. Maybe I am making too much out of this, but what kind of time commitment is required here. I keep hearing stuff like 90 in 90, or to dedicate the time spent drinking to AA, but in practice this is not possible without denying myself other healthy activities. Then again making a meeting when I don't have anything else to do is probably not the right approach.

Guess I am just whining.

LC

[ananda]

It seems different for everyone, but what I concluded for me is that I have 3 dedicated meetings a week....all others are optional. Helps to go to the same meeting regularly so that people get to know you well and you them.

Making a decision and following through seems to benifit me greatly.

[Sugah]

If you do it with faith and an open mind, time just seems to open up for meetings. Different people sponsor differently, but how long does it really take for a five or ten minute phone call every day, a once-a-week hour-long face to face meeting (with sponsor) and seven hours plus travel time for meeting? Is the meeting place more than fifteen minutes from your house? Two hours spent getting to, being at, and getting home from a meeting requires that you make the most of the rest of your time during the day. Committing myself to meetings has turned this formerly scattered individual into quite the time manager.

Priorities have a lot to do with it, too. Does it matter if your lawn's manicured if you're passed out drunk in the middle of it?

Have faith, and I guarantee, you'll have time for meetings & working steps. Consider other things more important, and I guarantee, you won't have as many other things to worry about.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by Sugah

Priorities have a lot to do with it, too. Does it matter if your lawn's manicured if you're passed out drunk in the middle of it?

Boy did that one pop out at me! If I don't put my sobriety first and foremost, I am doomed to fail eventually. Staying sober each day is by far the most important thing I will accomplish, and everything else after that is the icing on the cake.

I do think it takes time in the program to find some balance.

That being said, we do have 3 meetings a week in our small town. I don't think that 3 hours (give or take some time) out of 168 hours per week is too much to ask of myself. I also do my morning mediations, my 10th step at night, and am currently working with a new sponsee on going through the steps.

I've found that when I start to slack off on meetings, it gets easier and easier to miss more and more of them.

I'll stick with what works for me, because without sobriety, I can toss out anything else I'd like to do each day

[dgillz]

90 meetings in 90 days has nothing to do with AA, this is the rehab industry's line. When AA first got started, they had 1 meeting per week. Period.

Also, I agree with finding a meeting that you can relate to and really jell with. 3 quality meetings a week and developing relationships with the regulars at that meeting are a ot more important than 90 in 90 IMHO.

AA is about QUALITY, not quantity.

[navysteve]

Meeting makers simply make meetings. If we want what the program has to offer we must work the steps. There is no middle of the road solution. In my line of work, I have occasionaly had to go months without meetings and I have been fine. When I let up on a spiritual program of action I am in trouble regardless of how long I have ( actually I don't have anything, we get sober, I get...)

[Barto]

Really good stuff here LastCall.

I agree, with everything above, the experience shared and the truth shared: (1) without out this then nothing!; (2) 90 in 90 is treatment center rhetoric, I’d LOL if it weren’t so sad what these treatment centers have done to AA; (3) the answer is in the Steps, which the meetings should help you get to – if not, you are going to the wrong meetings!

I dedicated as much time as I could to both the meetings and The Steps early on. Even now, I’d probably be better off dedicating more time to both. It gets to be quit fun when you start to make friends by getting involved.

[kj3880]

I can't do a meeting every day even if I want to. I work shift work and I'm a single Mom. There's just no way. But even in my active addiction, I never missed work and nobody ever knew. So it seems to people now that I have less time for them even tho I'm doing better really on the inside. I do as many meetings as I can but I always make sure I eat with my son at least once every day. That's my priority. And I never would call in to work to get a meeting unless I was at the end of my rope. But the meetings do take priority over other stuff like the gym, fun times with friends, dates, etc.
kj

[Last Call]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses. I can probably find a few meetings a week I can make consistently, that should be fine. In the end its about doing the work, I get that.

[CarolD]

I consider beginning my Steps
was the start of solid recovery.
That is when my spirituality grew....

Meetings? I find 3 a week keep me
emotionally balanced.

Well done on your sober time

[phunky rich]

I go to a lot of meetings...that being said, the program of alcoholics anonymous (the book, 12 steps) and prayer/meditation are what keep me sober... by allowing God into my life to treat the internal condition which I have, I am able to continue to do the next right thing and stay spiritually fit. As a newcomer, it was important for me to understand that while the fellowship aspect of AA could prove an invaluable tool, it was ultimately God's grace which will allowed me to get sober.

My advice to newcomers would be to get to a lot of meetings and find those members who have a working knowledge of the program of AA...and stick by them!

[Pinkcuda]

I see your avatar is a fly. My advise is to spend more time flyfishing and less time on the things you hear.
Try talking to your HP as your walking up and down the stream and see what happens.

[Barto]

BTW, I like that name, but I have no idea what a Pinkcuda is. Is there such a thing? Are you talking about a mopar?

[Pinkcuda]

Correct Barto! It's a 69 Barracuda. It has the "Panther Pink" paint on it. We spend a lot of time at the Dragstrip together. God is a Drag Racing fan if you weren't aware of that. He's particularly fond of late 60s Mopars.

[Barto]

I had a 1970 Dodge Dart Swinger with dual hood scoops, black racing stripes, a four on the floor, and a built 340. I loved that car. Very dangerous to punch it on a twisty road though, but lots of fun. The thing always had trouble with tires though. The back ones never lasted very long. And it was always somkin' too. LOL.

[daydream]

How much time to spend in meetings/stepwork? Depends how desperate you are to recover. I was desperate for help every day for a long time. I had no idea how to get through even one day clean without a lot of guidance.

You'll get out of it what you put into it. Not an original statement, but made a lot of sense to me as a newcomer and still today, years later.

[bob_sapp]

Originally Posted by Last Call

I keep hearing stuff like 90 in 90, or to dedicate the time spent drinking to AA, but in practice this is not possible without denying myself other healthy activities.

If you have more important things to do than save your life then you should go do them and have a few drinks while you're at it. If your life is crappy enough as is and you are willing to be humble maybe you should go to meetings and do the steps.

[navysteve]

90 in 90 is not AA. If I sat in a meeting for 90 days without drinking and doing nothing else. I'd drink. Work the steps like your life depends on it because if you are a drunk. Your life depends on it

[Tazman53]

When I went through detox they suggested 90 meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

No 90 in 90 is not AA, but my counselor in detox was AA (he never said he was, but there were things he said and did that led me to be pretty sure he was) when I was out processing from detox he asked me if I was going to go to AA and get a sponsor. I told him yes, but there was no way I could do 90 meetings in 90 days because I worked fulltime and had a family. He asked me to just spend as much time going to meetings and working with my sponsor as I did drinking! I did a lot more then 90 meetings in 90 days and there were a few days I did not make a meeting.

I really feel that my counselor gave me the best advice I was ever given except to work the steps!

Here is the odd thing, I gave my sobriety a higher priority then I did my drinking, I went to over 90 meetings in 90 days, yet I still managed to spend more QUALITY time with my family then I ever did when I was drinking.

Funny thing when I was drinking my kids headed for the hills, they did not want to be around my sorry drunk butt!!!! They quickly gained respect for me when I got sober and enjoyed being with me!

As others have said, meetings help a lot, but the steps for me were the key to happy sobriety!!!!

[RufusACanal]

Welcome Last Call. Time to get to work; 40 some days this time and you have not figured out the importance of changing everything in your life. You don't sound like your whinning as much as you sound like you don't see the need to change.


Pink - I beg to differ on Mopar, though awesome, God told me pointblank he was a Bowtie guy through and through!

[Tazman53]

Pink - I beg to differ on Mopar, though awesome, God told me pointblank he was a Bowtie guy through and through!

69 Chevelle with a crate motor!!!!

[Barto]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

69 Chevelle with a crate motor!!!!

Put that motor in a Chevy Nova II.

[RufusACanal]

65 Malibu SS

[ananda]

bicycles!

[Pinkcuda]

I guess we'll just have to line up our Gods at the strip! May the better God win.
For those of you with a keen eye, you'll notice the Hemi in Gods car.