Hello All

[LegalLady]

Haven't been around in awhile but still sober and still going to AA
Its rough. I celebrated 60 days last month and 90 days is coming soon.
Its getting rougher actually but I'm hanging in there. I got rid of my sponsor and I'm feeling sad and looking for a new one. Finding a female sponsor is hard. I go to female meetings and lots of different meetings. But face it. There are a lot more men in AA. That's my toughest thing now is finding a good sponsor. I actually prayed for that last night. I felt corny doing it. Praying makes me feel corny but I asked God to help me find someone cause I'm not gonna make it by myself and I don't like the sponsor part but I do believe in the Program and the sponsor is part of the program. Wish me luck. I wish I had a computer at home. I can feel me teetering on the edge sometimes so I get scared but so far so good. I'm going to my home group tonight. At least I picked one of those and I really like it. It is a Big Book Study.

Take care all. I do still exist. If anyone cares.

[RufusACanal]

Congratulations LL.

I can't speak for the rest of the folks here, but this post made my day!!!!

Who cares is you, no one else matters when it comes to your success. You learning to care for you and not drinking is a miracle.

[Rowan]

Thanks for checking in, LL - and well done on your sober time. Keep doing what you're doing, and keep sharing.

[dave47]

Hang in there LL, more care than you realise.

[Sheryl85]

Glad to hear that you are still with the program. Sorry you are having some difficulty with the sponsorship thing, but the right person will come along.

Keep up the good work and don't feel as if you are being corny...nothing is corny when it comes from the heart. You are doing fine.

Keep in touch!

[LegalLady]

Thanks all, but if I feel weird praying does it count. I even got on my knees. I sure felt stupid. But I heard everyone say they hit their knees all the time. I felt really dumb and it was a really short stupid thing. I just got edgy and wanted to drink and just prayed and asked for help and for a sponsor and then even said I feel stupid. I doubt it counted.

[Sheryl85]

I can't say for sure, but I think that's when it counts the most!

Keep doing what you are doing... You are doing fine.

[Zanthos]

Originally Posted by LegalLady

That's my toughest thing now is finding a good sponsor. I actually prayed for that last night. I felt corny doing it. Praying makes me feel corny but I asked God to help me find someone cause I'm not gonna make it by myself and I don't like the sponsor part but I do believe in the Program and the sponsor is part of the program.

I too prayed for a good sponsor. And yeah, prayer felt very corny at first. But now, more than anything else, prayer is a simple acknowledgment that I need help and guidance in many aspects of life. So it's a form of honesty. And it feels good. And, strangely, it works.

[CarolD]

Good to see you again...
Way to go on your sober time.

[BP44]

My experience has been that my intentions for taking actions and how I feel about taking them just don't matter. AA doesn't care what my intentions are for taking action, nor does God for that matter. The important thing is that I am taking action regardless of whether I believe in them or not. Experience has shown that I benefit everytime I take the action. Keep taking the action just like you are doing. If you are like me, you will only see the results in the rearview mirror, but then again, that's what faith is all about.

[kj3880]

I know, right? I've been searching high (well not really high!) and low for a good female sponsor. My home group gets on me because I'm at 31 days and without a sponsor, but none of them volunteer, and I am having a hard time asking....dumb huh? I'm working on it and now that I read your post, I'll turn it over to God. What does that mean though? Not try anymore, just kind of go zen? I'm all confused. Sorry for not being any help at all, sister.
kj

[Tazman53]

Prayer feels corny and odd at first, it sure did for me any how. In early sobriety I really did not have a connection with my HP, but others told me to keep reaching out for my HP, that as long as I was seeking him he was there, I just needed to tune him in a lottle better. The more I prayed the less corny it felt and the more in tune I became, there was never a bright flash nor a burning bush, just a slow and gradual feeling that my prayers were not a waste of time.

When seeking a sponsor I would suggest praying for 2 things, first the ability to recognize the sponsor for you and second the ability to humble your self enough to simply ask them to be your sponsor.

Hps do not hand things to us on a silver platter because we ask, we need to take the needed actions that lead to what we seek. Simply praying for a sponsor will not always lead to someone walking up to you and saying "I will be your sponsor." The actions needed to get a sponsor are going to meetings with an open mind, watching and listening to potential sponsors and when one sees someone that has what you want to ask them.

LL I am very glad you came back to let us know you are still hanging in there and still working on following the path to sobriety.

[barb dwyer]

I actually prayed for that last night. I felt corny doing it. Praying makes me feel corny but I asked God to help me find someone cause I'm not gonna make it by myself and I don't like the sponsor part but I do believe in the Program and the sponsor is part of the program.

it's been my experience - that's all you have to do.

that ... and pay attention.

CONGRATULATIONS on coming up 90 days!!!!

[bballdad]

LL,I`m glad you are sober and you have a home group.I`m glad you are praying and looking for a sponsor.
Those are 4 things that I believe is essential.

You are doing the right thing.About the prayers,I also think it dosen`t matter what I say or how I feel,as long as I try to contact the Higher Power.



have a good day
pls keep coming back!
Tommy