Step 7 How'd you Do It?

[Cathy31]

Hi All

I'm busy with step 7 - how my sponsor and I do the steps is I follow the NA step guide, call him if I need to but once finished answering the questions we meet and go through - LOL usually I've been a bit skimpy on some answers and that's where he is great at calling me on it!

In the book it says : how are you going to ask your HP to remove your shortcomings...have you asked other addicts to share their ESH?

How did you do it? What did you actually 'say' when it came to this...

I said and wrote :

I will do it in nature, on my own and I will access that truthful place within me and say ' God you made me and I know you love al of me both good and bad. Plesae remove my character defects of (insert list from step 6 there aer about 11) so that I can be of maximum service to you and benefit to others and to cathlin (me) Pleaes help me to have my quiet times daily so that I can hear your voice and notice how you show me how to live in such a way every day to keep these character defects at bay, so I can be all you wish me to be.'

Cathy31
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__________________

[jimhere]

I have no experience with the NA Step Guide. You might want to pose your question to the folks over on the N.A. forum, being as this primarily an A.A. based forum.
Jim

[nandm]

Cathy you pose a good question.

You might find our 12 step study section at the top of this forum, it has threads with the prayers for each step, where in the Big Book each step is talked about as well as explanations to them, questions to ask youself while working each step, and it has some discussion on each of the steps.

My experience is I said the prayer and every day ask my HP to direct my thoughts and actions so that I may be of maximum use to my HP. This includes removing any shortcomings as well as allowing me to know when I have done something that I need to change or make ammends for.

Sounds like you are doing a great job. I love how you answered the questions

[Cathy31]

Thanks nandm! I'm very familiar with the Big Book (i've been lucky enough to go to many big book meetings and big book workshops) I was interested in how, in practice other alcoholics and addicts actually 'asked' God to remove their shortcomings.

I love how you described your way and how you do it daily...I think that is going to be key for me too - to get out the way so that God can help me DAILY to act in such a way that defects remain removed! I've just opened the step 7 threads, great stuff there thanks so much! And thanks for your share.

Jim, btw, humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings is what step 7 is about - in both of our fellowships, LOL!

Cathy31
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[Sugah]

I took steps 6 & 7 within hours of doing my 5th step with my sponsor. In the interest of "keeping it simple," I followed the instructions in the Big Book.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[jimhere]

True enough about the step being worded the same Cathy, but I stand by the truth that AA is AA and NA is NA. I don't mix the two, I have no reason to. When I sponsor someone, I use the book called Alcoholics Anonymous. If someone wants to use the NA guide, that is fine but they will have to go to someone who uses that.

My experience with the Seventh Step:

Many make the mistake that we have to "work" on ourselves. I don't know about you, but I spent years trying to add to, improve upon, or fix that which God made me to be. I hurt a lot of people and nearly killed myself.

The root of the problem is selfishness and self-centeredness, which in turn are rooted in fear. The branches are dishonesty, envy, greed, resentment, self-pity, and the like.

Step Six is simply an attitude that we take to God in Step Seven. We've identified what we find objectionable in Steps Four and Five. But the idea is not to improve upon or fix, but to replace. I say the prayer and take the action in Steps Eight and Nine and then commence to make this a way of life in Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. The change happens somewhere in between Six and and Twelve, or maybe during. And it takes practice. If you want to change, stop doing what you want to do and start doing what you don't want to do.

And remember change is not based on what I'm going to get. It is based on what I'm willing to get rid of. The prayer doesn't say "...remove this stuff so that I can feel better." It says something about removing what stands in the way of me being useful. It is not about self-improvement, it is about self-abandonment. If you want to embelish your character defects, "work on them." It just becomes another form of self-obsession, a self-help rather than God help program. Meister Eckhart, a twelfth-century German mystic said "Nature abhors a vacuum and cannot live in a vacuum. So empty yourself of self and you automatically fill with God." In other words practice what you want to become.

One last thing. Notice the prayer says "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad..." I don't get to choose what gets removed. God does does not use me the way I think I should be, God uses me as I am.
Jim

[Zanthos]

Originally Posted by jimhere

Step Six is simply an attitude that we take to God in Step Seven. We've identified what we find objectionable in Steps Four and Five. But the idea is not to improve upon or fix, but to replace. I say the prayer and take the action in Steps Eight and Nine and then commence to make this a way of life in Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. The change happens somewhere in between Six and and Twelve, or maybe during. And it takes practice. If you want to change, stop doing what you want to do and start doing what you don't want to do.

That describes my Step Seven experience very well.

Seeing my defects of character (relatively) clearly for the first time, I desperately wanted to be rid of them. But I knew I couldn't instantly and magically transform myself into a person that suddenly didn't possess those defects of characters. And so I asked my Higher Power for help and guidance so I could grow and change in a way that leaves those defects of character behind. I was taught that this wasn't going to happen overnight, but that it was a process the success of which was a function of how well I continued to work a program of spiritual development.

[bballdad]

I just sincerely prayed the 7th step prayer out of the AA Big Book

like Jim said,God decides what is removed, how and when,I grow in the direction and pace God decides,not me.....it is surrender to me, to God and God`s service...I did notice I wasn`t asking for God to remove everything and make me pure as the driven snow,just put me to work...

[Cathy31]

Originally Posted by jimhere

My experience with the Seventh Step:

Many make the mistake that we have to "work" on ourselves. I don't know about you, but I spent years trying to add to, improve upon, or fix that which God made me to be. I hurt a lot of people and nearly killed myself.

The root of the problem is selfishness and self-centeredness, which in turn are rooted in fear. The branches are dishonesty, envy, greed, resentment, self-pity, and the like.

Step Six is simply an attitude that we take to God in Step Seven. We've identified what we find objectionable in Steps Four and Five. But the idea is not to improve upon or fix, but to replace. I say the prayer and take the action in Steps Eight and Nine and then commence to make this a way of life in Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. The change happens somewhere in between Six and and Twelve, or maybe during. And it takes practice. If you want to change, stop doing what you want to do and start doing what you don't want to do.

And remember change is not based on what I'm going to get. It is based on what I'm willing to get rid of. The prayer doesn't say "...remove this stuff so that I can feel better." It says something about removing what stands in the way of me being useful. It is not about self-improvement, it is about self-abandonment. If you want to embelish your character defects, "work on them." It just becomes another form of self-obsession, a self-help rather than God help program. Meister Eckhart, a twelfth-century German mystic said "Nature abhors a vacuum and cannot live in a vacuum. So empty yourself of self and you automatically fill with God." In other words practice what you want to become.

One last thing. Notice the prayer says "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad..." I don't get to choose what gets removed. God does does not use me the way I think I should be, God uses me as I am.
Jim

Extremely helpful, thanks Jim! I've been using the prayer (on and off) in my quiet time and I love what you said about God using me the way I am...so that's been helpful to me, cause I was going to list my character defects in the prayer, but I think the fact that I am now aware of them is important, but then as you say God uses me as I am and it is in His time. Having done my step 7 so thoroughly it's really helped me to see where already through God's grace some of these character defects are already lessened - some have gone - and some only arise every 10 months or so! Amazing!

Thanks
Cathy31
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[Tazman53]

"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen."

An awful lot of good discussion in this thread, I bolded here what my sponsor emphasized with me and I with my sponsee, in a manner this is further turning myself over to my HP. an amplification of step 3.

I have the gift of gab, usiing it in a self centered manner which I did for many years while I was out there I caused great harm to others while gaining what I wanted. Today God uses my gift of gab to help others, same gift, but by me listening to my HP I use it in a manner he wishes me to use it in for the good of others and not for my own self centered means.

[Barto]

Nothing personal in my “thank you” to Jim, but I’ve never heard of the NA Step Guide either. I did mine pretty much the way it suggests in the Big Book (“Alcoholics Anonymous”). And like Sugah, last time around I did 5,6,7, & 8 in a few straight hours (including the hour of reflection suggested in the book).

[RufusACanal]

"Is our work solid so far?"


Into Action
Big Book, First Edition

[Cathy31]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

"Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?

If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all--every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.

When ready, we say something like this: “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” We have then completed Step Seven."

Rufus
Thanks very much for copying this out of the big book, I think it would be very useful for a newcomer who has perhaps not seen it before. I however have seen it many times and my question was more how did you DO IT - I know what the book says, did you DO it just like this or did you add your own words/rituals, etc. I guess what I've been asking which not everyone seems to be getting is what did you DO - not what does the big book say. You either did it precisely the way it's laid out in the big book (cool) or you added to it in x,y,z way. That's what I'm getting at, but thank you again for putting this piece in it's always great to see.

Cathy31
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[RufusACanal]

You are welcome Cathy and you are right, I posted the text for the newcomer. After posting and then going back to read several of the other member posts, I found myself remembering how my Sponsor brought me through Six and Seven the last time. With all of the emotional upheveal finally relenting moments after the completion of the Fifth Step, the one hour of reflection was an oasis of calm. I needed that time to slow down and focus on how I would met the God of my understanding and what was expected of me. My willingness was not in question when I prayed the Seventh Step prayer as it is written in the book, but my faith was and still is. I do not believe that God removes the defects; I do, through His power not mine. Big difference! You see I am responsible for change even if God has my soul and I am always accountable. Was I ready to be accountable to a Greater Being was my question and my answer then and now is YES.

By the way, how are you doing with patience?

Best to you in all.

[sugErspun]

Specifically what I actually did at step 7 was read with my sponsor up to where the prayer is. Got down on our knees, held hands (yes, with another man) and said the prayer (as written in the book).

I knew I had done it because later that night I was making another list...


As for everything that is going on when I was at the seventh step - I could not do a better job than Jim at describing it. My experience is very similiar.

It's all about humility - I didn't even know what that really was before I got there.

[ananda]

The big book says "something like this"....when I did this step with my sponsor I did that prayer with her, but then we did a reading and meditation based on my buddhist practice. That is the part that made it genuine and real for me...and she was more than happy to experience this with me.

I also believe that the defects that stand in the way of my usefulness part is important. I'm not a great judge at when some particular trait I have is harming or helpful....

[BP44]

I like what Don P did. He added to the 7th step prayer to ask God not to let the things he had not found yet kill him before he had a chance to find them. I don't mess around with what gets removed and what doesn't. I get frustrated when I hear people talk about "working on their defects". My job now is to get about His business. Because my life is no longer my business. If I have truly put my life in God's hands, then I should be content with Him transforming and changing me in His timeline. This is about change. And I make no condition on what that is going to look like, or when it is going to happen.

[Cathy31]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

By the way, how are you doing with patience?

Lol, not great - can you tell! Check in with me after my step 7 is done and I'm defect-free! (Joke)

Thanks for sharing your experience, Rufus!

best to you in all too!

Cathy31
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[best]

Step 7 is not a test.
It is you opening up your heart and speaking from your heart.

What I use as a guide is the Psalm King David wrote.
Psalm 139 is King David opening up his heart as he speaks with God.

A few lines...

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

[Cathy31]

That's beautiful thanks Best - btw how is the genealogy going!