Call old sponsor?

[Last Call]

OK this hopefully won't earn me dumb post of the week...

Last year I was doing AA and had a sponsor and got 58 days sober before slipping. The past 9 months have been intermittent periods of sobriety and drinking. I am now 22 days sober, I have been going to some AA meetings, and contemplating once again working the program.

I haven't spoken to my old sponsor in 6 or more months, he called a few times after I stopped showing up, but I kept finding reasons to not talk to him.

Do I call him? Show up at meetings at his home location and run into him?

LC

[nandm]

IMHO a phone call would be a great place to start as long as you are prepared that the sponsor may not want to work with you in a sponsee sponsor type relationship any longer. That is probably the worst thing that would happen if your sponsor works a program. One thing you may find from the sound of things is someone that cares about you and wants to see you sober (I get this from the phone calls after you went out that the sponsor made). Hiding or avoiding the sponsor only will hurt you in the long run. Good luck with what ever you choose and welcome back to the program. It does truly work when you apply the steps and principles to your life.

[CarolD]

I'd clear the air with a call.
Just tell him your ready to work the steps.

If he does not want to take you back
he may have too many other committments.
Ask him for suggestions on a new sponsor.


Good to see you are beginning again
Recovery Rocks!

[Pinkcuda]

I don't know your Sponsor but I will assume that he's no stranger to Alcoholism.
If it was me I would just figure that you had some more drinking to do before you were ready to quit. Therefore not taking anything personal.
If he does take anything personal and wants to hold some sort of a grudge he's probably not the sponsor you would want anyways.
Just my opinion and should not be taken as fact.

[Dean62]

I had a similar situation. I stopped talking to my sponsor when I went out over a year ago I had only known him for a couple of months before I stopped listening to him and drank again. I don't have his number anymore so I don't know if I would have used it for sure. I started going to meetings again and hoped I would run into him at some point. When it finally happened it was a great experience for me. I really missed his ugly face and when I approached him after the meeting he told me he was glad to see I was alive and gave me a big hug. I'm so grateful to have him back in my life. I already found a new sponsor but I love my old one and we are becoming good friends again.

I think you should definately call him. It will be good for both of you.

[dgillz]

I have to agree with Dean. My first sponsor isn't even my sponsor anymore, but it was great getting back into contact with him.

[Tazman53]

Well some great shares so far, if it was me I would call the man if you still have his number, let the chips fall where they may. Better to call him then to sneak around the rooms avoiding him! LOL I have a sponsee I have not heard from in almost 10-11 months that I would love to hear from, we are alcoholics, not saints!

[yogurt75]

Last Call wrote: "Last year I was doing AA and had a sponsor and got 58 days sober before slipping. The past 9 months have been intermittent periods of sobriety and drinking. I am now 22 days sober, I have been going to some AA meetings, and contemplating once again working the program.

I haven't spoken to my old sponsor in 6 or more months, he called a few times after I stopped showing up, but I kept finding reasons to not talk to him.

Do I call him? Show up at meetings at his home location and run into him?"
_________________________________

I wonder what I would do if the physician I went to when I was sick said to me that he or she was "doing" medicine?

I don't really believe that either meetings nor literature get or keep anyone sober. I do however know that "going to some AA meetings" and "contemplating once again working the program" won't do it either.

I would first ask, why would you call this person who was your sponsor? Did this person have something in their life that you wanted; such as their quality of recovery? Did they have a unique perspective on the Steps or recovery that you found attractive? Or, do you think you let this person down and feel somewhat guilty or obligated to call them...and...what would you be calling them for? Would you be calling them to sponsor you by taking you thru the Steps? Would you be calling them to renew a friendship? Would you be calling them because they might be the only available sponsor you are interested in asking?

Since you already had a connection with this person It might be a good idea to call, not to renew the sponsorship relationship at first (IMO), but to discuss your reasons for exploring the possibilities of investing in a new way of life. In order for the way of life as outlined in the Big Book to work for more than "intermittent" periods of abstinence one has to stand at the turning point - be willing to be rigorously honest with themselves and others, go to ANY lengths and be READY to take certain steps. "Contemplating" working the program is a good place to start off at. It is a good place to discuss what that looks like with another individual or group of individuals until such time where you are ready to move beyond the contemplative stage into action.

I think the most direct approach would be the one that is rigorously honest. I would think that a phone call would be that approach rather than showing up at a group they attend and kind of saying - "Surprise, here I am!" Of course, that is just my opinion.

I again think that attending meetings, listening to and hearing what is said, reading the literature and discussing with others that you are looking at committing to a new way of life but are in the contemplative stage is a good start. When you are standing at the turning point and are willing to go to ANY lengths to get well, to recover, that is when you go beyond just "doing AA" and begin living the way of life that program of recovery offers.

Whatever your decision (and I sincerely hope that you do make a decision one way or the other), I wish you all the best. However, please remember that sponsorship has its obligations. If you ask someone to sponsor you consider that, if you aren't willing to go to any lengths and are just exploring options, someone else who really wants recovery may miss the opportunity of attaining that new way of life because that sponsor is busy trying to help get you to the turning point. Recovery from alcoholism is not to be taken lightly - people die from untreated alcoholism. Someone may die because others are just contemplating or renewing their umpteenth trial offer subscription.

Asking someone to sponsor you is serious business. It is a committment to the Steps and the way of life their practice offers you. By committing to a sponsor/sponsee relationship, another may not have the availability of the help that sponsor would have been able to have offered them because they are working with you. Half measures will avail you nothing and more importantly, may deny another the opportunity to live. Recovery is life and death.

[Music]

Originally Posted by Last Call

Do I call him? Show up at meetings at his home location and run into him?

Both!! Call him and make a date to hit a meeting with him. Then, ask him to pick up where you left off. Only this time, don't drink even if your butt falls off.

[barb dwyer]

The woman who sponsored me before my five (or was it 6) year relapse ... took me back the night I came back to AA.

We are still quite close although I've changed sponsors for now.

I figure at least call and say hello - what can that hurt?