Self pity and denial/delusional thinking

[bob_sapp]

How do you stay away from these things in your recovery?

[sugErspun]

Is it possible for one to know when they are deulsional? - For that, I pretty much have to rely on being accountable to others and give them the OK to call me on my sh!t. There is a level of trust that comes before that arrangement.

Self Pity - If I am open and curious as to how I can be helpful to someone else, it doesn't really come up. When it does come up (because it does)- I see it for what it is, I ask God to remove it so I can be available to be helpful, and I talk about it with someone else.

[Rob B]

Originally Posted by bob_sapp

How do you stay away from these things in your recovery?

Work with others Bob, nothing like a newcomer to make you feel a whole lot better about your current condition, it works for me.

[FightingIrish]

Thanks, definitely an issue for me today.

I think Sartre had it backwards: hell is no other people. I worked some of it out tonight with my sponsor, and then was suddenly confronted with an opportunity to be helpful to him.

[bob_sapp]

Originally Posted by Rob B

Work with others Bob, nothing like a newcomer to make you feel a whole lot better about your current condition, it works for me.

I went for coffee with a friend tonight who has ~2 months sober now and it definitely improved my night.

[Pinkcuda]

One of the most difficult things I've done was Step 3. I try my best to live that one every day through step 11. I pray for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out. Some days His will for me isn't what I had in mind. Some days it's downright ugly. Sometimes I get big old Turdburger for lunch. Try to smile and keep chewing.
It's not easy, but Gods will is Gods will and it can't be challenged.
In short, You can't argue balls and strikes with the Umpire. You deal with it and you move on.

[Tommyh]

steps 10,11,12

[barb dwyer]

I depend on my friends to help me know...
the ones I can trust - not the others.

*grin*

[Tazman53]

Bob you know whether you know it or not, you are working a good program, rather then sit around and allow your self to live in your own head (I am guilty of that to often), you get it out there and then you listen.

Learning......... you can not learn if you do not listen and ask some questions, Bob you do this well, we need to remain teachable, I have heard plenty of old timers say that, I work hard on keeping an open mind and asking questions.

As far as the delusional thinking..... well we need to stay in touch with people in the program and those we trust out side of the program who when our crap starts to smell and we can't smell it they let us know that it is starting to stink!!!!

[Barto]

the further into these things I will get, despite any length of sobriety.

As others have said, the more time I spend listening to others and trying to help others, the less time I have to indulge in these dangerous delicacies of my still sometimes sick mind.

[Sheryl85]

Originally Posted by bob_sapp

How do you stay away from these things in your recovery?

In the early days my sponsor would make me sit down and write a gratitude list. And it can still bring about comfort and put me back on the beam today as it did in those early days.

You are making progress when you can spot possible pitfalls as these...

[SF69]

Dealing with self pity has been pretty easy for me. For the most part, I have a pretty good life. So if self pity tries to creep in, I just remind myself of that. Kinda like how can a man with no shoes complain to a man with no feet? Chiynita (i think) posted a good list of these a month or so ago.

The delusional thinking when it comes to drinking...well, those I really have to work out in my mind. I have to keep convincing myself that this great image of the fun I'd be having if I were out partying is really just a fantasy. Sometimes, it's difficult.

[gravity]

Thanks for the topic. This is something I have to keep working on. It's good to think about these things.


Self-pity –

Thinking about & being grateful for all the good things in my life, even the little things. I try to start my day by focusing on what I have going for me & the feeling of gratitude carries throughout the day.

Keeping in mind that it is not all about me – I have responsibilities to help, be there for others. Doing the right thing is not always easy.

Not letting self-pity overwhelm me, cause me to stagnate. Getting out there and doing good things (helping others, working hard, exercising, doing stuff with my family/friends, AA meetings, self-help books, etc.).

Praying – asking for forgiveness, asking that others be comforted.

Denial/Delusional Thinking –

Being open to learning new things. Accepting that I don’t know everything & that I am not always right.

Talking & listening to others – elders, my sponsor, my wife & good friends – depends on what’s on my mind. Even if I feel certain about something, run it by others.

“This too shall pass”. – Give it time, don’t jump to conclusions.

Praying – asking for the calmness of mind to see the Creator’s path for me.

[RufusACanal]

Daily gratitude list in the morning; I keep a small notebook for my back pocket.

Honesty is the best defense against denial. Delusional thinking is an acquired habit; do not deviate from what is true and real.

If any of the above are organic in nature; see a Doctor and follow directions.

Wallowing in self pity is always a choice, even clinical depression can and is resolved if you are willing. Maybe this issue concerns surrender more than anything else. Best to you bob.

[REZ]

Denial/delusional thinking--working the steps with a sponsor. Telling my sponsor exactly what is going on with me.

Self-pity: gratitude, service to others, taking care of myself.

[LosingmyMisery]

The Serenity Prayer brings me peace of mind.

[namelessone]

Originally Posted by bob_sapp

How do you stay away from these things in your recovery?

Most my sponsor will tell me to get real, or knock that crap off and give me some extra step work to do.

[fraankie]

"Most my sponsor will tell me to get real, or knock that crap off and give me some extra step work to do."

my sponsors use to do that, too
and
boy, i used to get angry
but
you got to listen to your sponsor
and
it works
make meetings, make meetings, make more meetings, do service, share atr the meeting, help others, get phone numbers, do more, more, more work on the steps
it works, works, works
it happened to me
looking back
you are so immersed in the program
it's not bill w.,
it's father bill
boy, does prayer work
you are so self absorbed, there's no reality
except you feel better
because there's no time to think

i do that myself now with the newbies
don't talk about that
go do another 4th step
as in, that'll keep them busy for a while)
like they did to me
then when you see them again
don't talk about not talking about what's really bothering them
and
la la land to the 3rd, 10th step for them


oh, oh,
reality bites

[CarolD]

namelessone ....
Welcome to SR!

[bob_sapp]

I've noticed that when I talk to people who speak truth, and stay away from people who believe BS about life and spread it around, the delusions fade fast.

[Tazman53]

Hey bob I just noticed your location!!!! LOL