The dangers of "Two Stepping".

[Signal30]

Often we hear the AA slang terms "Three Step Shuffle", or "Three Steps and Out". But what I have personally not heard too much of, and is actually mentioned in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions is "Two Stepping."

The "Three Step Shuffle" we tend to identify being a problem with newcomers in AA. They do the first three steps, lose the willingness, thoroughness and go back out rather than facing a Fourth Step Inventory.

But "Two Stepping" looks to be a problem or potential problem with those with time in the program. We work with our sponsors, we work the steps (at first), and some of us do them as thorough and honest as possible. A lot of us then sponsor others. We go to our meetings and provide various other types of service work to keep us humble and sober. But what I read the other night in the 12 & 12, got me thinking and really helped remind me some important aspects.

"The best-intentioned of us can fall for the "two-step" illusion. Sooner or later the pink cloud stage wears off and things go disappointingly dull. We begin to think that A.A. doesn't pay off after all. We become puzzled and discouraged." (12&12, Step Twelve, page 113)

Perhaps some of the reasons we can fall into the "Two Step" habit are doing the Twelve Steps on our first run with our sponsors, then diving head first into the program sponsoring others, chairing and even starting new meetings, working in inter group, participating and working at conferences and involving our entire life in the fellowship of AA. That sounds like working the program, but can some of us do all this and still not actually work the Twelve Steps as we did when we were newcomers?

Think about it. Attending, chairing, working, and starting meetings are a part of the Twelve Step, as well as sponsoring. We do all this service work to help us stay sober and remind us that we are and will always be alcoholics, which would be the First Step.

"Of course all A.A.'s, even the best, fall far short of such achievements as a consistent thing. Without necessarily taking that first drink, we often get quite far off the beam. Our troubles sometimes begin with indifference. We are sober and happy in our A.A. work. Things go well at home and office. We naturally congratulate ourselves on what later proves to be a far too easy and superficial point of view. We temporarily cease to grow because we feel satisfied that there is no need for all of A.A.'s Twelve Steps for us."
(12 & 12, Step Twelve, page 112)

Maybe we don't think we believe we don't need to work all Twelve steps in our lives. Maybe we just involve ourselves in working with others so much we get complacent in working on ourselves. Some of us may believe that working the Twelve Steps with our sponsees is equivalent to working all Twelve Steps on ourselves, (killing two birds with one stone).

I personally have to remind and ask myself, "Have I been taking care of myself, so I can be at maximum benefit to others?" "When was the last time I refreshed my moral inventory?" "When was the last time I made a revised amends list then made those amends?"

Step Twelve in the 12 & 12, states a lot of good points. I believe we can fall into the habit of "Two Stepping" sometimes and not even realize it, at least not at first. What a great chapter.

Thoughts and comments?


Tom

[Rob B]

Good Post Tom,
After reflecting a bit on your comments, here are some of my thoughts.

My personal experience is that every person I know who has a thorough understanding of step one does the work, there is soooo much involved in fully conceding to oneself, I see a lot of folks today who are in AA who may be alcoholic but don't know what that means, these folks tend to do the AA Waltz, 1-2-3 drink 1-2-3 drink etc....

As for staying current on ammends and moral shortcomings, steps 10-11 provide me an opportunity everyday to look at this and clean house.

Last Thought:
Pink Clouds, yeah I know it's in the 12X12, can't find it in my Big Book, I don't believe in Pink Clouds, I believe in God's grace, that creates within us a window of opportunity to do the work, this window doesn't stay open forever if no action is taken.

[ananda]

I experienced a "pink cloud" after I came back to AA, but it seems to me it wa just that I was actually in the moment and experiencing what people call "god conceisnous"?. It was just that for some reason it was easier to be at that place after the beating up I recieved from Alcohol. Now I seem to have to work at it a little harder.

Just some thougths.

[Signal30]

I believe some of us, whether we admit it or not, don't do the 10th Step as often as we should. Resentments can build, even though we may pray often, and do our best at following Gods Will. I have to remind myself no matter how much I put myself into the AA program, I cannot forget the important action of refreshing my inventories of resentments, fears, sex conduct, and harm done to others, as well as making updated lists of those I need to make amends to.

I heard a lead speaker meeting of a well respected woman in the program. She said an old saying that got me thinking. "Keep your eye on the ball." A simple saying, but it does remind me to maintain my efforts twards my own step work. I have to make sure that I don't let dust build up on the basic tools of AA that got and kept me sober.


Tom

[sugErspun]

"Sooner or later the pink cloud stage wears off and things go disappointingly dull." (from the 12x12)


That passage stood out to me the most (out of a great post Tom). For something to be or become disappointingly dull - that means I am putting expectations on it (aka running the show).

I think starting each day with a fresh curiosity, a commitment to not run the show (and immediately act when I am aware that I am doing such), cleaning up along the way (throughout the day) and reviewing before I sleep - maintains this curious condition - therefore I do not place expectation on ANYTHING, I cannot be disappointed.

Maybe a bit of a tangent, but just some thoughts on it...

[GlassPrisoner]

I do 1, 2 and 3 daily in the morning, as well as the 7th step prayer.

I do 10 nightly during meditation.

The above two are 11.

My 9th step is ongoing. For example, I think I'll finally have a chance to 9th step my Ex-Wife in about 3 weeks, when she drives down from Oregon (I'm in So Cal)

Yes, I do LOTS of 12th step work.

I'm currently doing a 16 week 12 srep workshop. We are on our 4th, which will be my 2nd 4th since sobriety 18 months ago. I will do another 5th after that.

No 2 stepping here.....

[Signal30]

Step workshops are fantastic for "keeping our eye on the ball".

Tom

[yogurt75]

It's not the pink clouds you have to worry about...

It's those darn pink elephants

[Tazman53]

It's those darn pink elephants

I saw the pink elephant after I got sober on the way to a meeting!!!! I was taking kind of a back road to a meeting I only go to on a day off from work, well along this back road is a combonation junkyard/sale place and out front they had a life size elephant that had been painted pink!!! I was glad to hear some others had seen it as well!!!

[miss communicat]

great thread and topic. Thanks.

I heard once at a meeting that 1 plus 11 equals 12.

I think it means that if we fully, rigouously live steps 1 and 11 daily, that they will carry us through our 12 step program of sobriety.

I am sure it can be refuted as another bs saying, especially since we all need the help and structure of steps 4-9, at least for the first 50 years or so.

But it came to my mind when I saw the title of the thread as 2 stepping.