Who believes they never have to drink again?

[Rob B]

I posted this in a user created group and was moved to post this on the 12 step forum.

Maybe, I'll drink tomorrow, but just for today I choose not to drink.

I have been hearing a lot of this living life one day at a time stuff, I always wonder: is there any other way to live?

More and more I hear statement I can't reconcile with my basic text, Dr. Bob instructs me to ask the new man, "are you ready to quit drinking for good and for all".

I understand about my daily reprieve and I understand the 24 hour plan for living described on 86-88. Where in the Big Book does it say, we avoid the 1st drink one day at a time? It doesn't. It tells me to trust God, Clean house and help others, that way works a lot better for me than knuckling a day at a time. In my heart I know I never have to drink again, matter of fact, my book tells me I couldn't drink if I wanted to.

[warrens]

Man, I sure agree with you, Rob. While there is daily work to be done, if I thought that tomorrow would be merely hanging by my fingernails, I'm not sure I would want to get up in the morning.

I'm no BB expert, so I cannot debate. But I am a recovering alcoholic and I like feeling great as I do. I take the tools of AA as well as wisdom where I can find it, to approach life as a very good place to be.

I have gained the wisdom to know that I am not bulletproof. But I know also that fear is a huge trigger that I need to avoid. Waking up scared is not for me.

Since working on surrender, I have looked at recovery as less a battle than a peaceful path. One step at a time, but with my eyes down the road. I'm learning to spot things coming that way. It's not a feeling of confidence as much as peace. I have a map, I have a route, and I have the tools to deal with what might come up. I'm going to avoid testing out any side paths. I know what lurks there and it doesn't like daylight.

As long as I continue to follow the path mapped out by others for me, I know that I cannot fail. I am through exploring when it comes to alcohol. I surrender to the path with a guaranteed destination. No more shortcuts.

warren

[ananda]

I'm not sure about this. I do know that it is a great freedom that today I don't have to plan on the possibility that I will be drunk and arrange my life around that idea.

I am not "white knuckling it". When I think about it, I don't think in terms of "one day at a time". I do try to stay in the now, but thats a spiritual practice for me, not something the big book or steps actually say.

When I look at alot of the old timers in my meetings who talk about "one day at a time" I don't see them "white knuckling it". They seem serine (?SPELLING), and they talk about not taking their sobriety for granted.

I think it is just another example for me of where I listen to the experience instead of analizing what words they put on it.

Thanks for the thread Rob.

[justanothrdrunk]

I wonder if it's one of those things where they both really mean the same thing.

I'm going to take a shot at explaining what I mean, but I have a feeling I'm not going to do all that well.

Take for example the phrase, "drinking is not an option for me."

I have heard this said in meetings by many. Those who don't say it (my sponsor) say they don't understand this sentiment because they always have the option to drink.

I have given this some thought and I'm thinking that both statements are true for me.
Drinking is not an option, and that option is always available. I know, sounds like a paradox...

If I want to stay alive and live a happy, relatively normal, happy life, then drinking isn't an option. I can't have a single sip and expect that to happen.

At the same time, I have a brain that doesn't quite work right and there is at least a small part of me that wants to drink, so drinking is an option - for the moment.

I think the same logic could apply to what you're saying Rob, at least in my head - which works perfectly by the way

I know I never have to drink again, ever. But I'm also trying not to think any further ahead than this moment. So, "ever" isn't all that long anyway. We'll see what happens tomorrow, because tomorrow doesn't fit into "ever."

[gravity]

Most of the time, I am okay with never having a drink again. I am at a point where I truly look forward to a life that doesn't include alcohol. There is just so much living to do and the fact that I can't drink is irrelevant. In a huge way, the AA program has helped me learn to live a much better life. I have such a different outlook than I used to.

However, I still have to get through those moments where I feel deprived or that a drink will fix everything. In addition to prayer, AA, and other resources, "one day at a time" gets me through the day. "Maybe, I'll drink tomorrow, but just for today I choose not to drink" will not work for me at all. If I were to accept this line of thinking, it would just be a matter of time. As long as I follow the Creators path and I am of sound mind, I will never "have" to drink again.

I find living one day at a time to be a great way to approach life and I don't find it inconsistent with having long term aspirations - it's how I achieve my goals, one being a sober future. D

[sugErspun]

Thanks Rob. It is something that needs to be said.

I defer to the book

" we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all" - Foreward to 1st edition
Big Book On Line

It's a way of living -- not a way of stopping drinking. There is a subtle yet profound difference.

I stopped drinking by going to detox, ER - whatever outside force intervened at the time.

Until I was offered a new way of living, I kept getting drunk.

[Astro]

Lots of good thoughts from everyone, thanks for posting this Rob. I totally agree with you.

While I approach life with a "ODAAT" attitude, drinking has ceased to be an option for me, I know without a doubt that I can never safely take a drink again.

[RufusACanal]

In a new life is there not a certain maturity to those who have solved the drink question; those who no longer have to equate ODAAT to the drink? If the psychic change has manifested in the person and they have cemented a relationship with a power greater than self, is ODAAT even a consideration? Has not ODAAT become wholly integrated into the new life? Is it not second nature?

When children are taught to read and write, they are not taught with novels and longhand. Children are taught the basics; those basics build the sturdy foundation that will support continued growth on the part of the student. Do we not teach new folks who come to us for this new life the same way? Are not the Steps fashioned in such a way as to teach the basics; willingness, acceptance, surrender, humility, responsiblity and then on to teach someone else with that ESH?

Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, there are broad distinctions between those who have recovered and those who have not in our rooms. Maybe that is why this question returns again and again; no one will admit that this is a difference. If you are working not drinking, working the Steps, providing service and changing everything in your life, you my friend are on the right path to recovery. Do not stop!

...by the way, I will never drink again. The drink question was solved in my life and is no longer a concern in any form or fashion.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

I've been thinking about this. I don't WANT to drink. I don't HAVE to drink. After the emotional crap I went through last week, I never thought about heading to the packy.

BUT I knew deep down that if I didn't get a grip on the situation, if I let my ego and emotions continue down the road that they were going last weekend, if I didn't pray and let HP do what he would, then it would only be a matter of time that I did drink. I'll admit, my fourth step is in it's binder, sitting there until I can meet with my sponsor, and I was getting a tad bit lazy with my daily prayers, etc.

So, for me, One Day at a Time means using my tools TODAY.

Thanks for the thread Tom.

[bballdad]

In my heart I know I never have to drink again,and I would like to add,if we stay close to God,He will keep us safe.

I never intend to drink again.Sobriety has become a normal way of life for me instead of drinking.Do I think I can go the rest of my life without a drink?Yes,if I stay close to God and practice the last 3 steps.A problem for me would be if I took sobriety for granted and become complacent.

[Music]

I do!!

[yogurt75]

I read somewhere that God has either removed my liquor problem or He has not. Whether or not I will ever have to drink again doesn't really matter. The desire to drink has been removed; why would I want to drink no less feel as if I have to?

I live my life one day at a time and do not stay away from a drink ODAAT.

[best]

I have been without alcohol in my system for a little over a few years now.
A beer would be nice. A glass of wine would be nice. A mixer even without alcohol would be nice (just cause I liked the taste)
Nothing says I need to never drink again. There are some very strong suggestions that say I shouldn't drink again and by my own example to myself... it wouldn't be a good idea unless I want the same consequences I had when I was drinking.
I have reached a point where not drinking is a choice that gives me a life I don't ever want to give up.

Only way I know to gather in the joy of a sober life is to stay sober.
Sober sure is a better way. I am enjoying what I have found and by choice I don't ever want to give it up. Life is good.

[Barto]

I don’t believe I ever “have” to drink again, but I don’t say that “I will never drink again.” I don’t believe I have the ultimate say so in this. Of myself, I will drink again. I always did. I believe strongly that we have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. (And thank God, God is merciful, or I’d be cooked!) If I (me) were to say I’ll never drink again, I think it would be a subtle form of, or the beginning of, my taking it back (as in me saying, “Okay God, I’ve got it now, thanks for everything. See ya later.”).

I believe constant and deeper surrender is essential to a better way of life “one day at a time.”

I know the obsession to drink has been removed from me; I don’t even worry about drinking and haven’t for some time, despite that I could never quit on my own – and I tried very hard. I let God worry about that (figuratively speaking). But I don’t believe that means the obsession can’t return. I try to remember that “I am headed for trouble if I rest on my laurels.”

I actually love the “one day at a time” slogan. Not because I am white knuckling through life, but because it is an easy and helpful tool to use when I’m worried about the morrow or remorseful about the past – which are behaviors I still find myself engaged in from time to time. As Chuck C said, 24 hours is the longest we’ll ever live in AA. Yesterday is nothing but regret, and tomorrow is nothing but fear.

How does that fit in with that "we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it"? I don’t know. Another paradox I guess. I suppose “one day at a time” is simply another tool. It works real well for certain jobs, but doesn’t work for others. Kinda’ like a pipe wrench, great for plumbing, not good for taking the heads off the car.

[best]

Originally Posted by Barto

Kinda’ like a pipe wrench, great for plumbing, not good for taking the heads off the car.

Your not swinging it right then *LOL*

[Barto]

Originally Posted by best

Your not swinging it right then *LOL*

I knew I wasn't doing something right! LOL.

[BP44]

I did not get up this morning and "choose" not to drink. Thank God I don't have to choose anymore. As long as I had a choice, I always made the wrong one. The choice I do have to make is to seek a concious contact with that which keeps me sober and my life begins to take shape from that experience. I do not live life on life's terms. Life doesn't make terms, only I make terms. So, I quit making terms. My job today is to get about doing God's work, which means I am to be a demonstration of God's love and power through me. When I submit to a way of life other than my own, it becomes more about living a life where I am usefully whole, than about somehow staying away from a drink for 24 hours at a time. The reality is if you are an alcoholic of our type, " just don't drink and go to a meeting" will work for a period of time. We all get a grace period that is different lengths of time for everyone. Some it's a couple of days, some a couple of weeks. But for everyone of us at some point in time, if we have not gotten into action, and had the vital spiritual experience that is 100% gauranteed, we will drink again. And we will not be a part of that decision.

[BP44]

The only thing I would add is that if you are an alcoholic, you don't ever have to drink again. We do not offer you a pain free or trouble free life. But you do not ever have to live in the pain that brought you here EVER again.

[FightingIrish]

I dunno, I no longer spend much (any) time thinking about drinking...or not drinking for that matter.

[collinsmi]

Exactly what I was going to say FightingIrish. Glad I don't have to make that decision every day, I'd probably screw it up sooner or later!

[kari69]

One thing I know for sure is that this alcoholic can no longer drink responsibly.

[warrens]

I'm going to refer to Justanotherdrunk's post here. He did a great job, I think of isolating that paradox, or conundrum of the "option" to drink.

I dealt with that paradox every day on the way home from work during my first two weeks. I had the option of slaking my thirst every day-just stop at the beer store. God it was hard. I swear every one of my senses was involved. I tasted, felt, saw, smelled, even heard the top pop on that cold Ranier Ale.

Holy smoke, how was I going to deal with it? I decided to ideate. That's right, ideate. I remembered how much dog's love to lick and drink antifreeze. Tastes good. Less filling. Certain death. A grisly, cruel death. Wasn't that beer the same for me? What was the difference? Still, when I pass the cooler, I see antifreeze. Same dam* thing. To me.

So yes, we have the option to drink. We have the option to drink antifreeze. Pretty silly, eh? We have the o