Ominous warnings

[nandm]

We landed in England. I visited Winchester Cathedral. Much moved, I wandered outside. My attention was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone:

"Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
Who caught his death
Drinking cold small beer.
A good soldier is ne're forgot
Whether he dieth by musket
Or by pot."

Ominous warning---which I failed to heed.

"Bill's Story" chapter one of the Big Book.

The actual tombstone reads:

"Here sleeps in peace a Hampshire Grenadier,
Who caught his death by drinking cold small Beer,
Soldiers be wise from his untimely fall
And when ye're hot drink Strong or none at all.
An honest soldier never is forgot
Whether he die by musket or by Pot.

Tombstone of Thomas Fletcher, 1738-1764

The "ominous warning" in this doggeral is that alcohol is every bit as lethal as a bullet. Examples of ominous warnings that some of us have failed to heed may be the death of people we know in alcohol related accidents or the abject misery we observe in the lives of those who are addicted to alcohol. Are we so unique that these things could not possibly happen to us?
DEFINITION: Doggeral--Of a crude or irregular construction. (Originally applied to humorous verse)

For 20 years I failed to heed the ominous warnings. The DUI, the loss of friends, the hangovers, the blackouts, the concussions from falls while drinking, the misery I felt inside, the fact that when I tried to stop drinking I never could get very far without the obsession to drink taking over until I had to pick up that first drink once again, the inability to be there for my children emotionally, the damage I did to the most important people in my life (my children), the marraiges not for love but for convienence, the people I used, friends that would tell me I had a problem with alcohol, the worry that someone might actually believe I was an alcoholic, the worry that I might actually be an alcoholic, the fear and disappointment of not being able to stop when I thought I needed to, the loss of self-esteem every time I failed once again to stop drinking on my own will power once again.

Then there were the drunk driving car wrecks I worked as a paramedic. The mother with the baby on her lap, the husband who was drinking wrecked, the baby was pinned between the mother and the dash. Needless to say that was heartbreaking since the baby died. The cruel things people can do when drinking. The suicides, the sexual abuse, the beatings, the shootings, the overdoses, all of it insanity. All of it warnings I should have taken during that 12 year period.

But like so many others I quickly forgot those warnings I recieved both from others and from my experinces with drinking. This is a common problem for alcoholics. We suffer from the vanity of thinking we know better than others and can stop on our own any time we really want to. I would convince myself after another failed attempt to quit drinking that I must have just not really wanted to quit. It wasn't because I was not able to do it.

I am grateful that I finally woke up and added up the multitudes of ominous warnings that were given to me. I do not know why I was one of the fortunate ones that finally was able to become desperate enough to do whatever it took to stop my drinking. I am truly grateful for AA, the people of AA that have gone before me and have come in since me, and my Higher Power, without those things I would not be sober today.

Thank you to all of you here at SR for adding to my sobriety each day! May you have a blessed life.

[Tazman53]

One of the sure symptoms of alcoholism is denial of the disease by the person suffering from it. I still look back and am amazed that even though I knew I was an alcoholic for the last 10 years of my drinking, until I reached the point where I no longer had a choice in the matter of whether I drank or not, I did not view it as a major problem because I thought I was a maintenance drinker it was okay.How in the world I viewed about a case a day not getting drunk as maintenance drinking I don't know? Probably because that is what it took to keep the shakes away?