Question

[Toomutch]

I want to start working my steps. I have the big book and I have began step 1 on my own.

Is there anyone here at SR that provides sponsership? I like the idea of working through the steps in this community.

Suzette

[Barto]

The Steps are a great way to go. And there are some women here that seem to have a good foundation in sobriety. I’m sure one will come along and post a reply. I’m not so sure about the concept of internet sponsorship though. I’ve only known sponsorship on a face to face basis.

[Freedom1990]

I've found that one-on-one, face to face works best for me

[nandm]

Suzette I would recommend looking through our 12 Step study sub forum. It provides a lot of information as you work through each step. It helps answer many questions you may find as you are doing the steps. You are also welcome to post any questions or thoughts you may have there and it usually doesn't take long for someone to reply.

[ananda]

Suzzete,

I know I have heard of people who sponsor over the internet, but don't know anyone personally, just heard through the grapevine.

My sponsor and I tried to work via the internet this week due to circumstances in her life, and I just got off the phone with her. We are not going to do email sponsorship very much. It just didn't seem to work well for either of us. She wasn't real comfortable with it, and I found that I got worked up over things she said cause I couldn't see her expressions, hear tone of voice, etc. Also no - immediate feed back.

Hopefully someone else will have more experience (and more positive) to share. Nandm's suggestion on the step posts was good, I have used them some.

If you are in an area with meetings, in person sponsorship might be a help too.

[Signal30]

A sponsor you can work face to face with when doing step work is essential. Remember we have to get out of the mindset of trying to do things our way.

Go to meetings, listen, and work the program. A sponsor comes into the picture if you are willing to really work the program.


Tom

[jimhere]

As has been ponted f2f, eye-to-eye is best.

I pm'ed you a while back with the name of a friend of mine, a woman, in the Denver area who sponsors a lot of people. Did you ever follow up on that?
Jim

[gravity]

My perspective is from someone fairly new to the AA program. First off, I think that it is great that you have decided to work through the steps. This is a huge decision in itself and I wish you the best.

I do agree with most replies - you should really have a face to face sponsor to guide you through the steps. While the steps themselves are written in black & white, I have found that there are many different opinions on how to work through them - very confusing for me. When in doubt, I ask my sponsor and follow his directions alone. For example, I had my step 1 done within 1/2 hour of meeting my sponsor. Alternately, I have heard opinions stating that you have to wait a certain amount of months before starting the steps. Who knows how long it would have taken to get started on my own.

I need my sponsor to work with me on the way I look at things - my "ego" needs to be deflated, I have to stop taking other peoples inventory & take responsibility, etc. I need guidance from someone who is objective, who had been there.

I also need my sponsor to give me the occassional kick in the butt when I am getting complacent. He can sense when I am in a bit of trouble, getting off track - and he calls me on it.

After only 3 1/2 months, I have grown to really respect my sponsor, I can talk to him about anything - he is a friend.

Is there anyone at all that can help you work through the steps in person (an alcoholic with solid sobriety)? A friend? A relative? A counselor? While I imagine it can be done on-line, I just can't help but think that it will be a frustrating process.

Really happy you are moving forward! D


ps - I realize I'm not answering your question - just offering my perspective .

[FightingIrish]

I too am fairly new (seven months today) and feel that doing the steps face-to-face was the most effective way for me. There's something that happens when I am sitting with someone talking this stuff through, answering questions not in my head but to another person who has been through most of what I have experienced, that cannot be had (in my opinion) any other way.

I read the Big Book for a class in college, fourteen years ago, and got an A on the paper I wrote about it. I drank for the next 13 1/2 years.

It has been said before, but it's true for me...my way does not work.

[Tazman53]

Toomutch historically speaking it can be done and has been done. In the very early days of AA right after the BB was first published there were some AA pioneers that found sobriety and worked the steps through the mail, but they also in order to do thier 12th step started working face to face with other alcoholics to help them achieve sobriety and work the steps as well.

I am one of those folks who could not have been sponsored via email or PM's. For me I needed the face to face sponsorship and meetings.

For me there is no substitute for seeing that look in someones eye that says it all, that shows me that there is a chance for me to stay sober and be happy. A knowing smile or look can not be expressed in an email, laughter, the twinkle in the eye of someone you know has been right where I have been and has found recovery.

I encourage you to read step 12 and ask your self honestly if that can be done without face to face interaction? Do not get me wrong, in the early days of AA it was done, but when it was done it was done to bring more alcoholics to long term sobriety via the steps and to establish meetings.

[GlassPrisoner]

I am one of those folks who could not have been sponsored via email or PM's. For me I needed the face to face sponsorship and meetings.

+1

As someone else pointed out, I had to realize that this could not be done by myself, or my way.

I did it the way my sponsor did it, his sponsor did it, and hundreds of recovered alcoholics that I know did it.

There are worse things than being a "conformist", and following the footsteps of those who did something that works. Why try and be different ? Is it THAT important that I can say I did it myself ?. No.

I couldn't drink, and I couldn't not drink, and I was fresh out of ideas on how to fix it myself.