Sponsorship

[Freedom1990]

I know for me, in my recovery, it has been vital to have a sponsor/s, and also to sponsor others in recovery.

I was reading through NOMOMERLOTMAMMA's thread on input in regards to her sponsor and I realized that early in my recovery, I tended to put those with more recovery than me up on a pedestal, especially sponsors.

I now have something I hand out to any potential sponsees, and this was passed on to me from a dear friend who participates in another 12 step program, and it was passed on to her, and so on

It's been an excellent guideline to help me stay consistent in my sponsorship, and also lets the sponsee know what I look for the relationship to be between sponsor and sponsee.

I just wanted to share it with all of you.

"As your Sponsor...

I will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo.

I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.

I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.

I cannot give you dreams or "fix you up" simply because I cannot.

I cannot give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.

I cannot take away your loneliness or your pain.

I cannot sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your own world in which you must live.

I cannot convince you of the necessity to make the vital decision of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing over the safe misery of remaining static.

I want to be with you and know you as a rich and growing friend; yet I cannot get close to you when you choose not to grow.

When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me.

You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow.

If you can accept this, then perhaps we can help each other to become what God meant us to be, mature adults, leaving childishness forever to the little children of the world."

[GlassPrisoner]

I usually just take my sponsees through the steps.......

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by GlassPrisoner

I usually just take my sponsees through the steps.......

Well, that too!!!

DeVon-getting out her pen and inking that in :rof

[nandm]

Good post, I had not seen that before

[Tazman53]

Being a sponsor I have found is a 2 way street in my experience and I have said that to my sponsee, of course my sponsor told me the same thing, there were many times as he was taking me through the steps that he would mention that what we were doing was gaining him more ESH and that I was helping him just as much, maybe more then he was helping me, this I have found to be true and have shared the same with my sponsee.

Last week my sponsee and I finished up his 12th step...... we sat and looked at each other, I thanked him for all that he had brought to me, we stood and he gave me a HUGE hug!!! He told me thank you for being there, I told him what my sponsor told me.... Pass it on, he looked at me and said "I know, I know." and smiled!

What more could I ask for, I am always amazed that no matter how much I give it away I always feel as if I am getting more in return.

[Emimily]

one of my sponsees' is picking up 9 months on friday (god willing), and i am BUSTIN. she and i have been working together since she was like, 3 days sober. she is a rock star. my other sponsee just nabbed a 30 day chip and is rockin and rollin through a 90 in 90 and we're reading the big book together (just finished doctor's opinion). i am so insanely blessed to have them in my life... it just blows my mind. when cat and i finished the first 164, i just looked at her and said "wow, we finished the whole book." it's such an alcoholic thing to start something and not finish, and there we were, finished with the basic text that we had read together, every step of the way. it's just how i felt with my sponsor when she and i finished the first 164. pretty amazing...

[RufusACanal]

Emimily,

Your example is inspiring; please keep me posted on your Sponsees new lives. A new life is a miracle any way you wrap it. Much love to you and yours!