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Old 04-01-2008, 07:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Why?

My friend Bill from AA called me about one hour ago.During the course of our talk,a question came up.It seemed like a tough question at the time because it forced us to really get honest with ourselves.If it all came down to one or two things,why do we do what we do in life?Whats the real purpose,the real seeking underneath our lives that drives us?What is it we really want?

In the end,what are you really searching for?
is it physical,emotional or spiritual soberiety?
Is it to just be happy?
Is it to just be better connected with our fellows on this earth?
Is it a deeper relationship to a HP?
Do we do it for a reason we just cannot pinpoint or figure out?
why?

I`ll post mine later today...
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Old 04-01-2008, 07:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Thanks for posing the question. I don't know if this is the "reason" for me, but I know that all of the needs you listed are taken care of when I am graced by self-forgetting and a willingness to be of service to others. I guess this could be called the Golden Rule or the Golden Thread?
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Old 04-01-2008, 07:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
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bball... between you, rob b., rufus, and sugEr, we're gonna need a "deep thoughts" thread. like deep thoughts with jack handey, only recovery-fied.

man. good question. my gut reaction is that i'm here to bring it - whatever IT is at that moment. to bring hope, to bring love, to bring experience, patience, etc. i'm here to be an example of what AA can do, if you really work it. that, of course, will probably change tomorrow when what's really important might be happiness or peace in my heart or my dog, whatever.

but what a good question!
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Old 04-01-2008, 08:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
In the end,what are you really searching for?
When I first came into AA I simply wanted to be sober and have the pain stop. Since I have worked the steps my answer is different, now I am searching for peace and serenity within myself and with the world, as well as being of maximum service to my fellow man.

Quote:
is it physical,emotional or spiritual soberiety?
When I first came into AA I simply wanted physical soberiety, as I worked the steps I started to gain emotional sobriety, since I have finished working the steps I continue to seek spiritual soberiety on a daily basis.

Quote:
Is it to just be happy?
No, but the steps have led me to happiness.

Quote:
Is it to just be better connected with our fellows on this earth?
No, but the steps have let me be better connected with my fellow man.

Quote:
Is it a deeper relationship to a HP?
Today that is what, thanks to the steps, leads me be able to live life on lifes terms sober.

Quote:
Do we do it for a reason we just cannot pinpoint or figure out?
why?
I do it for life itself.
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Old 04-01-2008, 08:48 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bballdad View Post
My friend Bill from AA called me about one hour ago.During the course of our talk,a question came up.It seemed like a tough question at the time because it forced us to really get honest with ourselves.If it all came down to one or two things,why do we do what we do in life?Whats the real purpose,the real seeking underneath our lives that drives us?What is it we really want?

In the end,what are you really searching for?
is it physical,emotional or spiritual soberiety?
Is it to just be happy?
Is it to just be better connected with our fellows on this earth?
Is it a deeper relationship to a HP?
Do we do it for a reason we just cannot pinpoint or figure out?
why?

I`ll post mine later today...
What is it we (I), really want? - to be happy, of course that can be as difficult or simple to define as one makes it. I have to ask myself another question - do I want? Is it possible to not want?

Right before my fifth step - I was driving w/my sponsor to sit over a cliff that looks out on the pacific ocean, we got to talking and I asked him "Is there anyone you know, after 20 years sober that you can honestly say is truly happy?" - he did not have a direct answer - something more along of the lines of 'reasonable happiness' - but, there are moments of complete inner peace that he (and I have as well) has experienced since going through the steps and continuing to do a few simple things. Happiness? - I think the definition of such changes on a day to day basis. I can almost gaurantee that my idea of happiness will change when I get married, have children, have grandchildren, retire - so on and so forth. I do not think it is a static state of being - therefore I remove the struggle to obtain such a state.

Physical,emotional or spiritual sobriety? - I have come to believe that if my spiritual state is 'sober', and straightened out - the rest will fall in line. When I came back to AA, I wanted to be anything other than what I was, I just wanted to be comfortable in my own skin. I was promised a whole lot more than that - the ability to be useful to others is a satisfaction that is different than the wordly satisfactions I sought my whole life - those things are not necessarily good or bad, just different.

We talk about a fourth dimension that could not have been dreamed of - to put what that means into words immediately puts a fence around it hence diminishing it's meaning.


Right now, today? - Work is terrible - things are falling apart and my financial future is unknown. I still need to come into the office 9 hours a day (plus a 1.5 hour commute each way) and there are truly no answers to what is gonna happen soon. The whole environment is rather sick, and I certainly cannot change or influence the direction it will take. But I can get centered, and watch myself to remain that way throughout the day - I find there is an inner peace which spreads to those around me...what a gift.

But, I am 'reasonably' happy this morning. I can't ask for much more than that in the face of a dire situation.

Thanks for posting this bball - I am not sure how much sense I made, but the time it took to reflect on it all has brightened an otherwise dreary morning.

~Adam
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Old 04-01-2008, 09:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
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As to the question of "why do we do what we do in life?"?:

Is it just be feel connected to others? No. The need for connection with others is not the goal in and of itself for me. The joining up with my fellows is to allow the creative principle of the higher power greater expression, through more than just my 1 avenue. Where there are fellows helping one another, there are more opportunities for healing and inspiration.

Is it for a deeper relationship to a HP? yes.

In the end,what are you really searching for? I am not searching for anything. I am enough.

is it physical,emotional or spiritual soberiety? no. sobriety is just the first precondition of my true nature. It is not the goal or reason for my life.

Is it to just be happy? no. Happiness is a moment. Then it is gone. I don't chase happiness anymore.

For me, the question is not "what will make me happy?" as much as it is "how can I best serve?"

my spiritual counselor has told me that we are each born with a purpose, or a way to serve humanity that is individually unique. The path is called, in this philosophy, our dharma, and it becomes the undercurrent or thread running throughout our entire life. No matter what we do or do not do, this driving inner principle will be felt, and we know it inside of ourselves.

For example, we are each born with unique skills, talents and inclinations which if we honor and cultivate, keep us true to our own nature. It is the discovery of these innate strengths which can support one in finding direction.

My counselor is also the person who told me early in my sobriety to "serve or suffer". I have to remember Who and What I am in service to. It aint me, thats for sure.

Sometimes I have feel it when I've veered far away from my path, or dharma. In times like this, everything was painful and unfulfilling. Relationships felt off, work was a drudgery and health waned.
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i stop trying to listen and hear truth
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Old 04-01-2008, 10:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
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When I first came to the program I could have answered your question with a very simple reply, “To learn how not to drink and be happy about it.”

Today, I do what I do so that I can maintain that contented sobriety and when needed, have the ability to counteract calamity with serenity.

The wonder of it all is that I got everything I ever wanted when I first started plus much, much more!
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Old 04-02-2008, 09:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
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From a newbies point of view. I just want to feel normal. Like my brothers and sisters and my mom. I don't want to drink normal. I just want to be/feel/act normal.
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Old 04-02-2008, 09:31 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Great thread. Many thanks.
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Old 04-02-2008, 10:16 AM   #10 (permalink)
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