Are you willing?

[RufusACanal]

What am I willing to do in order to be free of the insanity, the insecurity and the inability to live like others who are not afflicted with Alcoholism? Over and over, we Alcoholics wrestle with what we will do to recover and what we won't do. In this modern age of personal convenience first, almost anything we desire can be easily obtained and at our fingertips in minutes. Unfortunately, recovery from Alcoholism is neither easy nor convenient. Recover is simple if you willingly accept that you no longer have any other options, but never easy. Maybe this fact alone gave the first few hundred of our fellowship the ability to succeed where many now fail. There were really only two options available to the men and women of 70 years ago; recover or die. Even with the advances of modern civilization, there remain really only two choices; recover or die. Yes, I know some of us have relapsed repeatedly and lived, though is this not some demented form of Russian roulette? We are but a fraction of those who drinking again, lived. There are no guarantees that a return to booze will not end in death.

With the multitude of varied opinions both in AA and on SR, there is one truth that no one can honestly and realistically argue; we are all going to die. At some point, life ends. Why not focus on finding a quality of life that is both pleasing to each of us individually and to God today until we pass from this world permanently tomorrow; whenever tomorrow is?

What am I willing to do to recover? What can I realistically do one day at a time to continue enjoying a new life? Any I asking the questions that give me the information to improve my life or do I already have all of the answers? Why do I still live in fear? Why am I still selfish? I am willing to accept that I am not the center of the universe that God is? Am I willing to let go of resentments and find peace? When will I stop blaming others for my life's misery? Am I willing to have the courage to change my entire life? Am I willing to learn before I teach? Am I willing to be humble in all of my affairs? Am I willing to keep my mouth shut unless I have something worthwhile to offer? What is stopping me from living free? What is stopping me from being successful in all of my affairs? Why is the glass of life always half empty?

Willingness is the key. Acceptance is the answer.

[Rob B]

Good post Rufus,

As a hopeless alcoholic, I must die two deaths: I must die the alcoholic death, this comes in the form of surrender, a powerful 1st step experience is the catalyst for this experience.

On a daily basis I must be willing to die the death of self: Today my practice consists of the following disciplines: Waking up giving thanks and praying on my knees by my bed (My dog is always curious about this) I go downstairs and turn the coffee on, I sit and watch my breath and listen, sometimes I will write down guidance that comes to me, I check to see if it is God's will by applying the four absolutes of the Oxford Group.I try my best to take action on the guidance.
throughout the day I work with the 10 step, pause, watch, ask, turn. At night I do my review, sit quietly and write inventory when necessary.

This process maintains my conscious contact with God and keeps me safe and protected. I do not do this perfectly,,, at all, however I am willing to continue to submit to this process for reasons of self interest. I like who I am most days, I am not insane, and life on God's terms is a heck of a lot better than life on my terms. In this condition I can be of service, free of the bondage of self.

[FightingIrish]

Sometimes I forget and turn the coffeepot on before I get on my knees. My sponsor suggested keeping the coffeepot under the bed!

Originally Posted by Rob B

Good post Rufus,

As a hopeless alcoholic, I must die two deaths: I must die the alcoholic death, this comes in the form of surrender, a powerful 1st step experience is the catalyst for this experience.

On a daily basis I must be willing to die the death of self: Today my practice consists of the following disciplines: Waking up giving thanks and praying on my knees by my bed (My dog is always curious about this) I go downstairs and turn the coffee on, I sit and watch my breath and listen, sometimes I will write down guidance that comes to me, I check to see if it is God's will by applying the four absolutes of the Oxford Group.I try my best to take action on the guidance.
throughout the day I work with the 10 step, pause, watch, ask, turn. At night I do my review, sit quietly and write inventory when necessary.

This process maintains my conscious contact with God and keeps me safe and protected. I do not do this perfectly,,, at all, however I am willing to continue to submit to this process for reasons of self interest. I like who I am most days, I am not insane, and life on God's terms is a heck of a lot better than life on my terms. In this condition I can be of service, free of the bondage of self.

[RufusACanal]

You guys are the best!!!!!!!

[Tazman53]

A great post Rufus and an excellent reply Rob.

God granted me a moment of clarity which showed me that for me to continue to drink meant death. For me I faced the same choice that the original 100 had, recover or die!

I am that alcoholic they describe in the BB.

Rob you mentioned "On a daily basis I must be willing to die the death of self", the rebirth from that for me was due to following the same path that the first 100 did, I worked the steps, I escaped me and have become part of we. I still slide back into the self, but by staying on top of my spiritual condition I am able to escape self on a daily basis.

There are those who can not escape self....... if it had not been for that moment of clarity I do wonder if I would be alive today.