Thoughts on People, Places, and Things

[Rob B]

I'm just powerless over people places and things

I often hear this saying and it puzzles me. My experience is that when drinking I yeilded tremendous power over people, places and things. The Big Book describes active alcoholics as tornadoes roaring through peoples lives. My 8th step shows how much power I have over anything that got in my way.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, a new kind of power now lives within me.

My Big Book tells me I have recovered and been given the power to help others. This is a gift.

[miss communicat]

i nterseting, and thoughtful perspective, Rob. Thank you once again for showing me a new way of seeing the familiar.

My sponsor tells me that I am powerless over my emotions. Which is not so much the same as being powerless over people, places, and things as it is redirecting my focus inward.

Once inward, I can go upward or downward in terms of the quality of responces I generate.

Your suggestion, as i see it, is to fasten to the awareness of the root source of all power, the higher power, the ONLY power, and get out of my own way, allowing it to move through my mind and experiences.

What I imagine happeing is the end of all power struggles.

amen and allelujah!

[ananda]

I guess I don't think I control the result, but yes the action often lies in my hands. If I don't drink I don't get drunk. If I provide myself with a recovery oreintated atmosphere (for me my spiritual life, AA, Sponsorship, Steps, meetings) I increase the opportunities to be sober.

If I behave disruptively and uncreatively etc. in my work place, I create havoc. If I look for solutions that benifit all - Work becomes a more benificial environment.

I can't MAKE my boss do things, but I can create the atmosphere, provide information, etc. to give her a good environment in which to grow (of course I'm human and want it to be in the direction I want - spiritual manipulation is a problem for me)

[Tommyh]

out in my backyard is a old building.I guess you could call it a thing.It isn`t a person or place.I can burn it down if I want too,or repair it,or paint it or remodel it.I can even add to it and make it bigger.I could even give it away and get rid of it..
so,looks like that leaves powerlessness out of the picture here....

I could get a bob cat or back hoe and bid up my backyard and leave a big hole if I wanted too,I could kill the grass and leave the dirt,I could plant new grass or trees.I could dig it up and plant a nice garden..hmmm..guess that leaves powerless out in this picture too because it is a place,it sure sin`t a thing or person..


if I am in the bed asleep at night and some nut trys to break in my house and kills us all,I could get my shotgun and shoot the nut (hope this don`t happen,used as a example only)while my wife calls 911...guess powerless is out of the question here too...cause that nut is a person,and not a place or thing...

well crap,guess all this means I am just not powerless over people,places and things..how about that-so,I am not like the rock in the driveway after all.What a relief!


if I buy a big bottle of booze and start drinking,I won`t stop untill I am passed out cold or/and no booze can be had by me..now thats real powerlessness...what the big book talks about

[nandm]

I can not control or change the behavior of others but I can control or change my own behavior and how I react to others. So I am powerless over changing others but I am not powerless over changing my reaction to them by applying the Steps. I am only responsible for my behavior and actions, my side of the street. That is what I have learned in the program.

[Tommyh]

we humans can exert negative power very easy.We could walk over to our neighbors and light their house on fire...that would make them mad for sure..we could steal their car..probally make them have to do things they had not planned to do..we can get a host of our sick AA friends and go and try a hostile takeover of a local AA meeting,that would really cause a big uproar and make quite a few folks mad...some may get drunk over it.

we could find a suspect and beat them up...we could run around breaking up relationships or marrages by selfish sex behaviour..

if I did all that stuff,I would be exerting a power for destruction,caused by self.
if I turned by will and life over to the Higher Power,I would look for good things to do like be a good helpfull neighbor.To help out at the local meeting instead of trying to destroy it..carry the message of soberiety to someone who wants it..be part of the solution instead of the problem.Good power vs bad power
today I have a choice,to try it myself,or once more surrender my will and life over to God and let the good happen

[Tommyh]

in my home group we let some things slide.There is a point we draw a line,we have too,and we do.It is our responsibility.Certain things,certain behaviors won`t be toleraded long there,because we have made a committment to keep it a AA meeting and not a anything goes meeting.I had trouble with my behaviour when I came in,and they gladly helped me correct it..by exerting the Power of the Group Conscience..Power comes in many forms and ways

[FightingIrish]

This is an Al-Anon expression, no?

My experience is that this helps me focus on my own part of the problem, like others have said. Yes, I can certainly go and burn somebody's house down, but we have laws against that and I (usually) don't want to in the first place.

My understanding is that this phrase emerged from the application of AA's twelve steps in the context of the family groups/Al-Anon. I am powerless over someone else's (drinking) behavior. My efforts to hide it, cure it, scold it, control it, are ultimately futile, and I can best focus on my recovery if I admit I am powerless over others' behavior. Believing I can control their behavior (or the magical thinking that emerges when I think if I just make myself perfect that it will go away) is also futile.

I am powerless over the fact that I got a speeding ticket this week. (Yes, I can exert power by not speeding in the future, but getting mad over something that already happened doesn't help me much.)

Another Al-Anon slogan I love: "I stopped hoping for a better past."

-M

[Dean62]

Originally Posted by Rob B

I'm just powerless over people places and things

I often hear this saying and it puzzles me. My experience is that when drinking I yeilded tremendous power over people, places and things. The Big Book describes active alcoholics as tornadoes roaring through peoples lives. My 8th step shows how much power I have over anything that got in my way.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, a new kind of power now lives within me.

My Big Book tells me I have recovered and been given the power to help others. This is a gift.

You make a good point Rob. We do have an impact on people places and things. I believe the problem for some is when they confuse "power" with "control".

The power I have as an active alcoholic is the "tornado power" of selfish self centered will run riot. It is destructive and is a negative power over others. I may not be powerless but I certainly don't have control over the outcome of my destructive power over others.

The gift that is the new power to help others has been given to me as a result of a spiritual awakening. A gift given to me by my higher power, I don't control it.

For me to be powerless over people places and things means I turn my will and life over to God as I understand him and let his will work through me allowing him to do things I could not do for myself or others.

It's a work in progress.