Don't you think God has others to help

[LegalLady]

who have more problems. I posted on the other God thread. That is my biggest problem with this program. I believe in him for others but not for me. There are worse people in AA than me. People with diseases and getting beaten and dying and all kinds of stuff. Why would he care about a quiet drunk who doesn't help themselves and sits in her house and just throws away the life he gave her.

I see God working in others at the meetings but they really came from some crap. I just made small piles of crap. I did it myself and nothing traumatizing or even worth drinking over if you ask me. I just did it.

I'm sad today. This first month of not drinking is very hard. I feel like punching someone's face in. I'd like a drink really honestly. I'm meeting my sponsor tonight. We are gonna talk and she's dragging, yes I said it. Draggin me to a newcomer's meeting. I feel like I"m just there ya know.
The only thing I"m doing now is just not drinking. The resting is just Blah! I feel fake. They keep telling me I'm in the right place. I still go to meetings everyday, sometimes twice. But I'd be lying if I said I feel good. Most of the time I think "What's the use? Who cares?" I wanna care about me. I don't know how.

[best]

We receive not because we ask not.

God does not live in a box. He is big enough and strong enough to help every single one of us.
You get a paper cut...God cares about you just as much as a person that breaks a leg. One sin or one thousand sins and God does the same for each of us as well... He forgives them all. He has no limits and can do all for all.
He wants what is best for you...are you willing to accept what He offers?
He thinks you are worthy enough for all He has to offer.
God is a God without limits. You do not take away from others by accepting His love for you. Matter of fact...by accepting His love for you, you would be helping others. Accept His love and you will know what I mean.

[Dean62]

Yes God helps others with more problems as well as others with less problems.

You are putting human expectations on a power greater then us. There is nothing to big or to small in this world for Gods love.

[LegalLady]

How do you know that? I mean, I don't know what I mean. I just think I should just pull it together ya know. I don't have a long saga. Why do I need to bother the man upstairs.

There is a guy who comes to meetings everyday drunk. He needs him more than I do. I go not drunk. He goes drunk. But he likes what he hears. I go drunk and I like the meetings but everthing else seems like I have to work with God and I believe in God, but not for me. I haven't really met anyone who felt that way before. I believe he helped all the others because they really needed him. I think God thinks I should do it myself. Cause I'm capable. No detox, no traumas. Just a mental messed up head. I think if I try hard and let God spend his time with others then more people will get better. I'm weird that way. I have a problem with deserving things. Always did. I tried to tell them at the meeting. They keep saying they will love me till I love myself. I hate that. Love and hate are strong words. People you don't know should say they love you. Its creepy.

I'm sad today. It won't stop raining and I just am sad. I knew 30 days was gonna be tough cause I had it before. I'm the kinda drunk who feels sorry for myself alone. That's just pathetic. I don't even think God likes me. People like people who are strong with self confidence. God probably does too.

[Tazman53]

LL I have found God inside of myself, he is all powerful, he created the universe and cares about all of his creations. God is there for every person who seeks him, he has time for one and all that have time in him.

In the BB it says:

If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try.

We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.

We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.

The above quote says it all, all one needs to do is seek him and he will be there.

[SF69]

That's why in my prayers I ask Him to help others before I pray for strength and knowledge.

[Music]

Originally Posted by Dean62

You are putting human expectations on a power greater then us.

Thank you Dean. God isn't limited to what the human mind can conjure up. God just IS! No one is above or below His attention, but just like going to the doctor when I'm sick. I have to get up and go. The doctor isn't going to come looking for me.

[LegalLady]

But if the doctor has an emergency, and I have a cold. He will take the emergency first. I know. Analysis Paralysis. I have it bad. Sigh.

I just want to feel better.
Plus, I feel super guilty this 31 days. Next month I hear is the resentment month. I told my sponsor I should have quit in January so I could start at the First Step. Now I'll hear all month at the meetings about resentments. Sigh. This month was all about the 3rd step. I just feel Stupid. Like I should be getting this NOW. Well at the meetings they say we all want everything NOW and that it takes time. Sigh. I'm just Icky today. Thanks for listening.

[Tazman53]

Why do I need to bother the man upstairs.

Because we are all his children and he loves to hear from us.

I'm the kinda drunk who feels sorry for myself alone.

I was to, I drank because of it, I drank alone the vast majority of my heaviest drinking years. I also felt sorry for myself when I was with others.

I don't even think God likes me. People like people who are strong with self confidence. God probably does too.

God does not make junk, God does not make anything that he does not love. Keep in mind that the meek shall inherit the earth, not the strong and confident. I have found strength and confidence by relying on God, I wallowed in weakness and self pity when I did not rely on God.

I have found that when I do Gods will that I am strong because I am given strength by him to do his will, he lifted my obsession for booze to allow me to be able to do his will.

[RufusACanal]

For someone who sees her own personal advantages in life compared to others, I wonder why you cling to this martyrdom of worthlessness. Maybe you haven’t had enough to drink legal lady, maybe you enjoy that wonderful cushion of self pity, maybe it is a waste of time to encourage you, if you will not encourage yourself. It all starts with you and if you will not make the effort to stand up, no one here will for long. Why did you stop drinking?

[cwilson066]

I used to think like this. Then it occured to me that I was writing God's task list, which seemed like a good way to get an express-delivery lightening bolt. Now I'm just glad for what I get given.

[Tazman53]

Well at the meetings they say we all want everything NOW and that it takes time.

I know that feeling, I wanted 10 years of sobriety the first week I was in AA. I learned that I took quite a few years to get in the condition I was in and it was going to take time for me to recover, I have also learned that time takes time and I can not rush it, I live in today and don't worry about tomorrow, nor try and live in yesterday.

[LegalLady]

I stopped drinking because I was drunk took an overdose for the 6th time of Tylenol, but it was too late to pump my stomach and I almost died. I was put in intensive care and then an in patient program. Scarred my liver. Thanks Rufus. Maybe you are right.

Thanks everyone.

[best]

A message from God...

10. LOVE YOURSELF: As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget......

[best]

If we as just humans can care about you and love you... How much more does God love you? He is perfect in His love for us all.

[sugErspun]

Please don't take this as being critical.

I think you need to set aside the notion you have of God. Your definition that you are using your mind to build up is terribly inadequate.

There's a whole chapter in the book "We Agnostics" - not "Those of us that are agnostic" - all of us are agnostic in the sense that if we can comprehend God, then we become God.


LegalLady - Are you willing to believe that God can solve your problem? Regardless if you think he should or shouldn't. I loved hearing one guy put it "There is not front end reward in AA - everything we do is based on faith - and that faith grows with experience"

Are you willing? That is all that is asked.

Would you like 'God' to help you if you are unable to help yourself?

I found it best to just be open to experience God and not try to define God - that's not possible.

Keep asking questions, I have found it very useful.

[Freedom1990]

"Why do I need to bother the man upstairs."

That's the good old false pride speaking to you. False pride kept me sick for a long time.

Believe me, that first year of recovery all I did was take my body, and often I too was 'drug' to meetings by sponsors and fellow AAers.

It does begin to come together; it just takes time.

[Music]

Originally Posted by Freedom1990

[CENTERThat's the good old false pride speaking to you. False pride kept me sick for a long time.

Thanks Freedom. You brought back to me the exact problem I had when I started thinking about pride as being a fault. False pride works both ways. I had the kind of pride that told me I was above asking for help from anyone. The other side is the negative false pride which tells me I'm below asking for help.

LL, you're here asking for help from us mortals. Take the next step up and ask help from the One who created us. Crack open that door just a little to the possibility that He listens to you just like He does the rest of us.

[laurie6781]

LL I keep several beautiful copies of "Footprints-In-The Sand" around my home.

After you read it you will understand why:

Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson


Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved

This poem helped me tremendously in my early days and years of recovery, to remind me that HP does help us all whether we think so or not.

Your choice now, stay on the "pity pot" or get off and start WORKING on your recovery. We only grow, as hard as we work.

And for me, recovery was very hard work, in the beginning.

Talk with your sponsor, follow your sponsor's suggestions, go to meetings, especially when you don't want to, and pretty soon things will start looking up. Don't analyze, just do!

J M H O

Love and hugs,