Do I still lie? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

RufusACanal · 03-18-2008, 01:26 PM

Do I still lie - yes, do I make a habit of it, no. Dishonesty and lying are not only nasty habits to break, they are defects of character and they must be broken if we are to once again regain the trust and respect of our peers. Is there a necessary lie? Maybe, but the instances are so few and far between that telling any lie for any justification decreases my spiritual condition as well as my human condition.

Telling the truth is so much easier to remember.

If dishonesty is a continuing issue, why not inventory your honesty and dishonesty on a sheet of paper at night? It takes but minutes to recollect the day's affairs and could save you much in the way of shame, guilt and remorse.

Honesty is still the best policy for me.

Tommyh · 03-18-2008, 01:46 PM

tks Rufus for the good topics lately...back a alcoholic into a corner and a lie pops out automatically every time..allmost..it just comes natural...like a built in lying machine,but somewhere along the line we realize it is incompatable with our new way of life.The lying just does not work anymore.The old tool for the old way of living just don`t fit

Tazman53 · 03-19-2008, 04:57 AM

Lying to myself kept me drunk for a lot of years, lying to others led others to not trust me and to a great deal of shame and guilt for myself.

Honesty is what got me started on the path to recovery and for me to regain a lot of lost respect and lost pride.

I still catch myself doing it, far less as time goes by and I continue to work my program.

Thanks Rufus.

wordman · 03-19-2008, 01:42 PM

IF I lie, I die! I know that sounds dramatic, but if I am not rigourously honest, I am in big trouble. Now there are such things as white lies. This is for the guys, when your girlfriend/wife asks you "Do these jeans make me look fat " the answer is still "No, baby, you're beautiful. There can be a fine line between rigourous honesty and stupidity

bugsworth · 03-19-2008, 01:45 PM

lol wordman....your a smart man!

jimhere · 03-19-2008, 11:44 PM

I never lie.

If you believe that I've got some nice beach front property in Arizona I'll give you a good deal on.

FightingIrish · 03-20-2008, 05:11 AM

It's not a lie, because it's not the jeans that make her look fat. :0

Quote:

Originally Posted by wordman

IF I lie, I die! I know that sounds dramatic, but if I am not rigourously honest, I am in big trouble. Now there are such things as white lies. This is for the guys, when your girlfriend/wife asks you "Do these jeans make me look fat " the answer is still "No, baby, you're beautiful. There can be a fine line between rigourous honesty and stupidity

sugErspun · 03-20-2008, 08:42 AM

I gotta steal this one from Rob (as proxy for George Castanza)

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

Sheryl85 · 03-20-2008, 09:33 AM

Lying is one of my “ISM’s”…

I’m
Spiritually
Misaligned

A friend of mine made the observation that he usually lied for one of two reasons… to be liked and to get out of trouble. I understand that today (if you spot it, you got it!) and realized that I have to be aware not to put myself in the position where I "want" to lie. If I’m taking care of my business as I should (fulfilling my responsibilities at work, at home, financially, etc.), I don’t have too many times that I have to worry about being in trouble or being liked. And it doesn’t hurt to use a little tact and diplomacy with people. I’m sure there is a better way of getting your point across instead of saying something that could hurt someone’s feelings. (When caught in the “Does this make my butt look big?” situation, do what I do and retreat to the fall back position by replying, “If you are asking me that question there must be something you don’t like about the outfit.” …then get the heck out of the general vicinity before they ask anything else!

Rob B · 03-20-2008, 07:22 PM

I'd like to say God has removed this defect from me completely, however, that would be, well you know....

My experience with regular inventory is this. When I lie it is a result of my false sense of self, or Ego. My true self needs no defending, it is perfection, just like yours.

I lie when I am afraid, that is the root of it, matter of fact, fear is at the root of just about all my stuff I have clung to. It's a good way to measure my current level of agnostocism. Thanks for the Topic Rufus.

03-18-2008, 01:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
RufusACanal Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 1,927	Do I still lie? Do I still lie - yes, do I make a habit of it, no. Dishonesty and lying are not only nasty habits to break, they are defects of character and they must be broken if we are to once again regain the trust and respect of our peers. Is there a necessary lie? Maybe, but the instances are so few and far between that telling any lie for any justification decreases my spiritual condition as well as my human condition. Telling the truth is so much easier to remember. If dishonesty is a continuing issue, why not inventory your honesty and dishonesty on a sheet of paper at night? It takes but minutes to recollect the day's affairs and could save you much in the way of shame, guilt and remorse. Honesty is still the best policy for me. __________________ "It is what you learn after you know it all that counts." John Wooden Excerpts from Original Manuscript of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

03-19-2008, 04:57 AM	#3 (permalink)
Tazman53 Follow Directions! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Fredericksburg, Va. Posts: 9,745	Lying to myself kept me drunk for a lot of years, lying to others led others to not trust me and to a great deal of shame and guilt for myself. Honesty is what got me started on the path to recovery and for me to regain a lot of lost respect and lost pride. I still catch myself doing it, far less as time goes by and I continue to work my program. Thanks Rufus. __________________ All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB Follow directions! Sobriety date 18 Sept. 2006 Sober today thanks to AA

03-19-2008, 11:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
jimhere Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pugetopolis Posts: 2,392	Not Me I never lie. If you believe that I've got some nice beach front property in Arizona I'll give you a good deal on.

03-20-2008, 08:42 AM	#8 (permalink)
sugErspun Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,694	I gotta steal this one from Rob (as proxy for George Castanza) "It's not a lie if you believe it." __________________ "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard

03-20-2008, 09:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
Sheryl85 '55 Classic Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Waco, TX Posts: 630	Lying is one of my “ISM’s”… I’m Spiritually Misaligned A friend of mine made the observation that he usually lied for one of two reasons… to be liked and to get out of trouble. I understand that today (if you spot it, you got it!) and realized that I have to be aware not to put myself in the position where I "want" to lie. If I’m taking care of my business as I should (fulfilling my responsibilities at work, at home, financially, etc.), I don’t have too many times that I have to worry about being in trouble or being liked. And it doesn’t hurt to use a little tact and diplomacy with people. I’m sure there is a better way of getting your point across instead of saying something that could hurt someone’s feelings. (When caught in the “Does this make my butt look big?” situation, do what I do and retreat to the fall back position by replying, “If you are asking me that question there must be something you don’t like about the outfit.” …then get the heck out of the general vicinity before they ask anything else! __________________ "Temper is a quality that at a critical moment brings out the best in steel and worst in people." - William Grohse NOTE: All Big Book quotes are from the First Edition of the Big Book

03-18-2008, 01:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. Posts: 18,391	tks Rufus for the good topics lately...back a alcoholic into a corner and a lie pops out automatically every time..allmost..it just comes natural...like a built in lying machine,but somewhere along the line we realize it is incompatable with our new way of life.The lying just does not work anymore.The old tool for the old way of living just don`t fit

03-19-2008, 01:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
wordman Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New York, NY Posts: 17	IF I lie, I die! I know that sounds dramatic, but if I am not rigourously honest, I am in big trouble. Now there are such things as white lies. This is for the guys, when your girlfriend/wife asks you "Do these jeans make me look fat " the answer is still "No, baby, you're beautiful. There can be a fine line between rigourous honesty and stupidity

03-19-2008, 01:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,925	lol wordman....your a smart man!

03-20-2008, 07:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
Rob B Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Southern New Hampshire Posts: 747 Blog Entries: 5	False sense of self I'd like to say God has removed this defect from me completely, however, that would be, well you know.... My experience with regular inventory is this. When I lie it is a result of my false sense of self, or Ego. My true self needs no defending, it is perfection, just like yours. I lie when I am afraid, that is the root of it, matter of fact, fear is at the root of just about all my stuff I have clung to. It's a good way to measure my current level of agnostocism. Thanks for the Topic Rufus.

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