RE: Speaker meetings

[SF69]

I've been going to AA meetings for 8-9 weeks now, and usually go to 3 or 4 speaker meetings a week.

Early on, not sure if because I was more desperate or because the speakers were better, I really focused and held on to everything the lead would say.

The last couple of weeks, it feels more like a task to sit and listen to the speakers. Not sure if I'm becoming numb to others stories, or if the leads haven't been as good (I feel really bad saying that). I still try to take away something from each lead, but it seems to be getting more difficult.

Is this just a phase? Should I maybe check out new groups?

any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

[jimhere]

I wouldn't be too worried about it. I find it hard to sit through a speaker sometimes.

I've said before that AA meetings aren't for us to "share" at, but we do need to express ourselves as well. Maybe you should check out different meetings. A Big Book group might be a refreshing change, especially a group that emphasizes sponsorship from the book.

[sugErspun]

I have to agree with Jim.

Maybe get to more meetings where you are in the solution, rather than just hearing about how a single person went through it.


Myself - I preferred speaker meetings for a long time because it almost gauranteed that I wouldn't be the one speaking. I say almost, because there are those times when I would be asked to do a share...and I can't speak in public - I lock up. A couple of times I managed to maybe do 15 minutes of nonsense, and people responded well. I can't really remember what I said, as much as I know I should and as much as I would like to, speaking in public is still a very large hurdle for me.

[SF69]

Thanks guys!

My home group meeting is a discussion meeting and I still really like that one. It just seems in my area that 75% of the meetings are Open Speaker ones. So I'll check others out, and try to find another discussion or Big Book meeting.

[serenityqueen]

I know I tend to lean towards discussion meetings. I like when topics are brought up and addressed. Early in my Recovery, I actually shyed away from speaking (hard to imagine, huh? lol ) and found that many times I could really identify with the issue that was brought up. I not only got some great suggestions on how to deal with something that may be going on in my life now, but also it made me aware of situations that may come up in the future. This helped me to understand that, once again, I'm not the only one feeling a certain way or having certain problems. Also, it's a great feeling when a topic is brought up that I have went through and survived without using. This will help you see where you have grown and possibly not even realized it!

I still go to Leads but not as often. For me, I needed a lot of Lead Meetings in the beginning so I could see that I wasn't the only one who did some sick things while out there. Helped me to see that I am not alone.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

I've been to a few where I was dogged tired an had a hard time listening myself.

Hmm take that back, that was when, I spoke

One thing, if I can't hear, I ask them to speak louder!!

There's been quite a few I've listened to that, I don't recall much from it.

I just listen to the similarities to which, I can identify with.

Sometimes, it just blows me away to hear some of the stories and how they turned their life around.

I love to hear it when, a biker says, he's sponsoring a judge

I was told, to not turn down an invitation to speak. Bikerchick here on S/R asked me to speak a couple of years back in St. Louis. I didn't know there would be 175 people or so there !!

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What ever the case, you sat and listened and didn't drink for that day

[Tazman53]

Not much to add to what has already been said, I go to 2 speaker meetings a week, one of them was really getting pretty lame, we had some speakers who thought it was a drunkalog and not how it was, what happened, and how it is today, many of these folks had very little time under their belts and as a result they had little choice but to focus on how it was and what happened and virtually nothing on how it is today.

We all know how to get drunk so after a while we all get a bit bored with a lengthy drunkalog. I love a speaker who shares on how they went through the steps and the effect the steps had on thier life.

Well my HP decided he had a cure for my problem at this one speakers meeting...... he presented me with a service position!!! I get the speaker every 4th Friday of the month!!! Not as easy as I thought, but I do get to hear a lot more about the solution every 4th Friday and if I don't I can only blame myself! LOL

[bugsworth]

SF, I had come to the same point as you around 3 months into my sobriety, so I understand it can be frustrating. Give a new meeting a try...it is nice to mix things up.

I also found I needed to cut back on my meetings after my first 90 days. I was sick of hearing people glorify alcohol...you know what I mean....remembering the good old days was keeping me stuck. I found I took away more from fewer meetings. JMO

[Tommyh]

I usually go about 50/50 with my meetings.Half speaker meetings,and I mix the rest.
I`ve allways liked speaker meetings over any other kind of meeting.Speaker meetings teach me to sit still,focus my attention on one thing,and I get to hear many good stories of how a alcoholics life is reconstructed by the 12 steps.
Books studies can get boring and discussion meetings can be...well,you name it..thats all I `m gonna say about those..
Speaker meetings bring in more money to the groups around here.Groups that have speaker meetings seem more finacially stable.

my home group has 2 speaker meetings a week,and we volunteer to get speakers one month at a time,either on Friday nights or Sunday nights..so,I go out searching for good messages,and seek,you can find!Then we are asked to speak in return sometimes and that helps us.I usually talk 12-20 times a year,which helps me a lot.One thing about speaker meetings,you may think you aren`t getting anything,but you are helping the alcoholic up there talking a lot.


Tazman,a lady from Chatham Va is coming down again this August to talk for my b-day.
You may know her...I believe her home group is Martinsville.

[FightingIrish]

Most of the ones I go to are speaker topic meetings. So we listen for about 15-20 minutes but also get to share.

Last Friday I went to a three-speaker meeting (all speakers, no share), and I found that I literally could not look one of the speakers in the face while she spoke. For some reason her manner, the things she was saying, made my skin crawl.

It turned out that she brought something up that I was about to address in my fifth step, so even though it made me uncomfortable I got something out of it.

I agree though that going to new meetings every once in a while helps to keep it green. When I find that I've heard just about everyone who's getting up there before, that is one sign.

[Tazman53]

Tazman,a lady from Chatham Va is coming down again this August to talk for my b-day.
You may know her...I believe her home group is Martinsville.

Bballad Martinsville is about a 5 hour drive from me, I may have heard her though, did she speak at the Virginia State convention?

I really enjoy a good speaker, especially those who talk the steps which every good one I have ever heard has.

[Tommyh]

Taz,no,she has never spoke at the state convention,but she does have a pretty good talk.

[SF69]

Thanks again everyone for the advice!

[Rob B]

When I listen to a speaker, I ask myself do I want what they have? If yes, I listen to what actions they took to get to where they are (God is usually involved).

If someone doesn't have what I want,It's simple, I don't do what they do. We are all examples, one way or the other.