How and when do I get a sponser?

[StandFast]

Hi, I have been going to mtgs for 1 week.
I have no clue how to get a sponser and how long shoule I be going to meetings before I am ready for a sponser.

I am learning or hearing one of the things that you should look for is do they have the "life or things" that you are seeking. Anything elese? I am also checking out meeitngs at my church tommororw.

Any adivice welcome!

Thank you.

[CarolD]

In most meetings....on the literature rack is

"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"

That is the official AA guideline.

Good to see you again....

[serenityqueen]

Welcome Standfast!

As CarolD suggested, check out the literature rack. Also, start getting phone numbers of members of the same sex. Get to know some of these A Sponsor should be someone who you feel comfortable with because you will be doing alot of opening up and sharing with this person.

I think it's awesome that you are going to meetings. It's a good idea to go to different meetings and at different locations if possible. Find the places you feel comfortable.

God Bless,

Judy

[1cor13]

The literature rack is a good place to start. I got my sponsor by praying and I really mean that. I didn’t know what to look for so I asked God for help. Then by hitting a meeting I heard someone at a speaker meeting that talked more about recovery then his drunk a log and thought he might be someone for me.

(Prayer answered) His recovery consisted of a wife, children, family, business, and hobbies. He sounded like he had a pretty full life and was happy. I definitely identified to his war story but it was his recovery was what I was attracted too.

So I walked up to him and asked him to sponsor me.

[Tazman53]

I am thankful that the guy I asked to sponsor me said "No, but I will be your temporary sponsor." He went on to explain that a sponsor is someone you need to click with, not like a buddy buddy friend, but someone who had what I wanted and someone I felt I could develop a deep trust in.

I was glad he did this, he helped me out a lot in my first 3 months, offering suggestions, answering questions and simply being there when I called. The only problem was he traveled a lot so he was not able to spend the time needed with me to work the steps. Well I found someone else who had what I wanted and not only talked the talk, he walked the walk. I spoke to my temporary sponsor and he said that I should ask him to be my sponsor.

Well I asked him, we sat down and he told me what he expected of a sponsee and I told him what I needed from a sponsor.

Keep in mind that the primary purpose of a sponsor initially is to take you through the steps.

[justanothrdrunk]

When? Now.
How? Ask.

Look for someone who:
1. Has been sober 2 years+;
2. Works the steps;
3. Is the same gender as you; and
4. Has something you want.

Walk up, introduce yourself, and ask them to sponsor you. It's never too soon to get a sponsor.

[Tazman53]

justanotherdrunk I have been in areas where they say 5 years sober, in my area it is usually a minimum of a year, my sponsor decided for me (I was shocked) I was ready at 7 months!!!!

I told him I only had 7 months and he said do a little checking into AA history, in the early days there were a ton of sponsors with less then a month!!!!

I am not one to say someone with one month should be sponsoring folks, but I have seen folks that had only been sober 6 months that had more of what someone would want then some folks 20 years sober. Not trying to cause a stir, just sharing my experience.

BTW that first sponsee lasted about 6 months and decided that one meeting a week and steps was just to much of his time! LOL My second sponsee will have 11 months soon and we will be working step 11 Friday night.

[gutterman317]

I wanted want my sponsor had, a soon as I seen him.. He had a glow to him. He was living on spiritual lines. When you go to a meeting you will be able to tell, who has what. Humble yourself, if he can't sponsor you he should be able to lead you to the water. Anybody living the steps will take you under their wings. Best wishes

[collinsmi]

Get a sponsor and start working the steps as soon as you can. My alcoholism always worked on getting a drink in me from the time I put the last one down, and 90% of trhe time I couldn't tell it was happening, even when it was too late.

The role of the sponsor is to show you how to work the steps, so having worked a good set of steps (or at least be ahead of you) is the most important qualification. I'd suggest going to closed step study or big book study meetings to find a sponsor. The people at these meetings are generally more serious about recovery than open discussion meetings. You'll want someone of the same sex. And yes, just ask the person! It's a part of their recovery (or should be) to sponsor people too.

[Signal30]

Here it is. The beauty of our modern age. Can't find the sponsorship pamphlet? The link to it on PDF is below.


http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/..._Q&AonSpon.pdf


Tom

[Rob B]

Originally Posted by justanothrdrunk

Look for someone who:
1. Has been sober 2 years+;

I'm betting Bill was real glad Ebby didn't follow that advise, same thing with Dr. Bob. There is absolutely no time requirement whatsover to be a sponsor.Certain groups may decide on arbitrary time lengths, that is their business.I don't attend those meetings anymore.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps, is the only thing that matters. I know men with less than a year that I would trust with my life and send my brother to when he is ready.

[jimhere]

Guys I sponsor that have less than a year are sponsoring others. They have recovered from alcoholism and have an experience to pass on. Ever since I started working with others at a little more than a year of sobriety I have sponsored a lot of people with more time than I have.