Day 9 I got a temp Sponsor

[LegalLady]

Well I walked out of my job yesterday, but I didnt' drink. I did get a temporary sponsor tonight and I'm to call her tomorrowr.

I'm going to the 7:00 a.m meeting tomorrow morning with another girl and we are having coffee afterwards.

Pray for me. I was stupid and walked out. I wasn't even drunk. But I did not drink anything after I did it. And that's what I said when I went to bed. i said God, I know I screwed up walking out of my job, but I did not drink. I hope God still likes me. I have a hard time with the God thing. Not because I don't believe in him. I just have a hard time in anyone or anything greated believing in me.

[29a]

god forgave you before you did it.

i'm proud of you, espaecially meeting people and doing more than just going to meetings. fellowship and just hanging out with other drunks is a part of it too. that's where my network of support truely lies.
And it may have been a mistake walking out, but like you said you didn't drink. There will be other jobs, it will all work out.

good stuff, keep it up

[LegalLady]

I don't even know how I'm gonna pay the rent this weekend. I'm not even gonna tell my family. They'll just die.

[Rowan]

Stick close to the program and things will work out. Are you able to call your employer and explain what happened, or do you even wish to return?

It's good to see you got a temp sponsor, and are going to meetings and connecting with other women.

[CarolD]

Good to see you did not drink
have a sponsor and are reaching out to people.

I found a new interesting job by telling AA
members I needed one. Give that a try.
At my noon meeting today ...a new member
got 2 leads on jobs by doing just that.

[RufusACanal]

I believe in you Legal Lady! What a remarkable beginning; freedom from more self-inflicted pain, one day at a time!

[Tazman53]

LL great job on the not drinking, I am not sure of what was up with your job or why you walked out, but I will ask one question and give one suggestion.

Did you really want to quit the job?

If you did to stay sober then good, if not and you would like it back it may not be to late to go in and make amends.

As 29A said getting that temporary sponsor is an excellent beginning to happy long term sobriety, getting a sponsor and working the steps and then living them to your best ability one day at a time is the difference between happily living life on lifes terms sober and being a parasite drawing off of others serenity by just going to meetings. I have found that happy sobriety is a combination of fellowship (meetings), service work (Working with others and helping out), and step work, those are my three legs that I work on keeping balanced to keep me balanced.

[LegalLady]

I don't know what I want. All I know is working makes me sick. No money makes me sick. I've been to meetings alot. One this morning and tonight I go to Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. Anyway. Tomorrow my sponsor is meeting with me after themonring meeting and I just sent my application in for doing just temp work. I know my family is gonna ****. I can't believe I"m not drinking to tell you the truth. But as I told everyone else. Not drinking is easy for me. its the constant thoughts in my head while I'm not drinking is what is driving me nuts.

[collinsmi]

Not drinking is easy for me. its the constant thoughts in my head while I'm not drinking is what is driving me nuts.

Does THAT ever sound familiar! You'll have to listen to some Clancy I tapes, he talks about that a lot!

[Tazman53]

LL those spinning thoughts used to (on occasion still do) make me nuts also. I found that writing those thoughts down on piece of paper stopped them from spinning and actually let me see that things were not all that bad!

When I was doing my 4th step inventory I had for years had all of these resentments, fears, guilts, and shames spinning around and around in my head, the more they spun, the more they grew!!!! I felt like hell, I was absolutely the worst person in the world!!!!

Well I started to write all this stuff down just like the BB said and suddenly the spinning stopped, the mountain in my head became a mole hill!!! Writing the spinning thoughts down stopped the spinning, I was able to see in black and white all of me and my problems!

Lord was I scared to do that before I actually did it, like I said when "I" was spinning in my head "I" was a worthless pile of crap!!!!! Once I wrote it ALL down, I was actually able to see 2 things, number 1, I was no where near as bad as what I thought I was and this actually allowed me to start to see the good side of me even when I was drinking.

I have found that if something is really eating at me to write it down!!!! This allows me to see the problem in it's entirety and that mountain in my head written down becomes a mole hill and I am able to deal with it better. I do not journal, but I sure can see how it helps those who do.