Going back to AA/I'm going to die

[LegalLady]

I don't really care for AA but I'm going to die if I don't go back.
The hardest part for me is getting a sponsor I have asked, begged, and cried at meetings even for temporary sponsors. How do I get a sponsor.
No one ever volunteers.
If I don't get a sponsor I will die.

[miss communicat]

Originally Posted by LegalLady

I don't really care for AA but I'm going to die if I don't go back.
The hardest part for me is getting a sponsor I have asked, begged, and cried at meetings even for temporary sponsors. How do I get a sponsor.
No one ever volunteers.
If I don't get a sponsor I will die.

This is how I did it: I stopped drinking, I asked God for help and I became 100% willing, open minded and honest to follow the suggestions of other sober people. I let go of my old ideas about AA, because they were not working for my sobriety. I agreed to give sobriety my full dedication, not choosing to do only half measures of the program.

This might work for you too.

I'm glad you are ready this time to let yourself be helped. Welcome back! Don't give up on this. Its a matter of life or death, or a life not worth living. Sobriety is there for you.

[LegalLady]

Thank you. I'm just at my wits end. I don't know who I am anymore.

[gravity]

I called the AA number in the phone book (2 months ago, new to AA). I was very upset and they found a 'senior' member of AA to call me back. He ended up being my sponsor. Even if he didn't turn out to be my sponsor, it would have been a great starting point to finding one. Maybe phone & tell them the difficulties you are having getting a sponsor? Take care.

[miss communicat]

Originally Posted by LegalLady

Thank you. I'm just at my wits end. I don't know who I am anymore.

As long as you don't drink, and keep following suggestions, which will guide you through the steps of this program, your true nature will once again emerge. Life will improve. I promise!!!

[miss communicat]

About getting a sponsor:

In my meetings, it is not the norm for women to volunteer themselves as sponsors unless, in specific instances, a newcomer requests, via the chairperson, to see a show of hands of any women available to serve as a tempoirary sponsor, whom the newcomer is directed to see after the meeting.

Also, the chairperson will generate the passing around of a meeting book for women to sign their names and telephone numbers, and this book is given to the seeking newcomer.

The best way I have found getting a sponmsor is to go to at least 1 meeting per day, and ask at each meeting for names/numbers of women. then, LISTEN to the women share and determine who you feel has the quality of sobriety that you desire most. This person may not and most likely is not exactly like you. That means they might not have the same taste in dress or social staus, but at least you share a coomonality. She will be a woman whose struggle is similar to yoiurs, and who has enough recovery to share honestly and comnpassionately with the group about the solution. She will not live in the problem any longer.

Now, a sponsor-sponsee relationship is vital to the quality of ones' sobriety and journey through the steps, so, when you are not at meetings, it is prudent to call more than one person, ask to meet each of these people for a coffee, to find out if you think you can or should work together. Find out what the potential sponsor expectys and offers in the way of accessibility and face to face meetings. Listen carefully to what is said.

thats what worked for me. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

[Rob B]

If I were in your shoes, I would look through a meeting list and find a closed Big Book meeting, or step study group in your area. As a general rule, these meetings are solution focused and the chances of you finding someone willing to sponsor you who understands alcoholism and the program of recovery AA has to offer are probably greater.

In the meanwhile I would pray, a lot.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

I was just going to suggest what Rob suggested. I found my sponsor in a closed BB meeting. Prior to finding this meeting I was going to Open speaker meetings which I have found aren't solution oriented (as Rob has said). In my BB meeting, folks willing to be sponsors are always asked to identify themselves at the beginning of the meeting..

Karen

[RufusACanal]

Welcome back LegalLady.

[nandm]

Welcome back. I was wondering how you were doing.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

I'd hope, one of the ladies on here can be a temp. for you until you can find one at the meetings.

I've known of people sponsoring people from long distance that have moved away

[mtnmagic]

Originally Posted by LegalLady

I don't really care for AA but I'm going to die if I don't go back.
The hardest part for me is getting a sponsor I have asked, begged, and cried at meetings even for temporary sponsors. How do I get a sponsor.
No one ever volunteers.
If I don't get a sponsor I will die.

Hi LegalLady. Hang on, ok! You know, I have found myself in the same place that you appear to be in right now. It may be the same, it may not. In my own place of fear in the past, I have reached out to others, only to pull back because I was so scared to let some one else get to know me. I would attend AA, want recovery with all my heart. Then a day or two, week or month would go by and I would be ashamed at my weakness...Pull back, relapse, miss the fellowship in AA, guilt, shame, remorse would set in and there I would be stuck with me!

Go to a meeting and ask for a temporary sponsor. I'm sure somebody will respond to you. Take it from there, a moment at a time. In the meanwhile, we are all here for you. Some of us in very early recovery, some very advanced. As long as you are moving forward, baby steps all the time...we can hold you up and help you.

[Signal30]

Originally Posted by miss communicat

This is how I did it: I stopped drinking, I asked God for help and I became 100% willing, open minded and honest to follow the suggestions of other sober people. I let go of my old ideas about AA, because they were not working for my sobriety. I agreed to give sobriety my full dedication, not choosing to do only half measures of the program.

Pretty much everything miss just said. Willingness, Honesty, thoroughness, and an open mind. Most of us came into AA out of desperation. We felt defeated and ready to give up on life. It sounds like you have surrendered to alcohol and your life is unmanagable. That is the first step.

If you obtain the willingness, honesty, thoroughness, and open mindness you will get sober in the program of AA. Now is the time for action. Find a beginners meeting and start doing, not trying, doing the program of AA. Also you should go to a doctor, and be honest with him/her.
If you make your sobriety your number one priority, and do the program of AA, you will find a sponsor, and you will be sober.

I see living proof of it everyday.


Tom