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Old 02-12-2008, 07:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Interesting thing I noticed in the BB.

As many of you know I am helping out with a step workshop. As I was studying Step 5 in the Big Book (page 72 to 75), I noticed something very interesting.

Nowhere in the chapter Into Action in the Big Book where it talks about admitting to another person your wrongs does it mention talking to your sponsor.

Even more interesting.

Nowhere does it mention to admit your wrongs to a fellow alcoholic in the program either.

The chapter suggests talking to Doctors, close friends, family, and clergy, but nothing about a fellow alcoholic and/or your sponsor.

Now it does mention about talking to your sponsor in the book the 12 & 12 in Step 5, but not the BB.

I read the part of the chapter over and over on Step 5, thinking I may have missed it but saw nothing about sponsors or fellow alcoholics.


Now, by no means am I saying that it is wrong that it's not in there or that I think they should put it in. I am simply saying that I found it interesting. As you all know, I think sponsorship is extremely important.

Anyone else notice this or did I miss something that was completely in front of my eyes on page 72 to 75? I wouldn't be surprised if I did.


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Old 02-12-2008, 07:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Sponsors are not mentioned in the basic text.
I think mentor is but I have not checked

BTW....I've never had a formal sponsor.
To do my Step ork....I used several members
in 2 locations as I re-llocated before I finished.

No ....I am not advocating my path
Just sharing what has worked for me.

Sometimes we must adjust to unexpected events.
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Old 02-12-2008, 09:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Just my take on it, but when the BB was first written, it was written to the person mainly who did not have an AA fellowship to lean on, as a result every possible "another human being" was covered to allow that crucial 5th step to be taken care of. Take not it does not exclude a fellow AA person.

As pointed out in the 12X12 as a result of the huge growth of AA at the time it was written it does mention a sponsor.

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Old 02-12-2008, 10:04 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Well..the book was meant to carry the message to where there was no message - how could someone comprehend the notion of another, recovered alcoholic, assisting them when no such thing existed? (There was no local meeting directory in 1939) - you were instructed to make use of whatever was available.

There is one key to this (in those pages you mentioned) :

"But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story"

It was explained to me that this means maybe my whole life story has been told in pieces spread over multiple people - but it was critical to my recovery that ONE person hear ALL of it, nothing left out. It's a spiritual exercise to be that open with only ONE person - means you probably have to tell them things you thought about them that normally you would just as soon keep secret.

About sponsorship - this can be found much earlier in the book.

pp.18 " But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reach, little or nothing can be accomplished.
That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, the he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, the he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured-these are the conditions we have found most effective. After such an approach many take up their beds and walk again."

Taken from http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_BigBook_chapt2.pdf
and
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_BigBook_chapt6.pdf

It seems clear to me, taken into consideration Working With Others that eventually the goal would be one alcoholic working with another - sponsorship. They made room for those whose religious convictions require things like confession etc...

The key for me was - One person (other than God and Myself) had to hear it all - I don't think my sponsor would have minded if I had done my fifth step with someone else, but since he was my guide through the book - it just made sense.

~A
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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The Big Book is not about getting a sponsor, it is about being a sponsor.
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Old 02-12-2008, 09:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Tom great post I think
I took my 5th step with a Catholic Priest.
I would like to add one thing
nowhere in the Big Book does it say I have to show my 4th step to anyone.
I never have.I did tell the "good Father" everything that day
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Old 02-13-2008, 12:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
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It just so happened that my own sponsor is the most closed mouth person i know.

LOL
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Old 02-13-2008, 07:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I suspect that some of the things we know work, aren't in the Big Book because it took time and practice to find out these things worked. 90 and 90 works. Men sponsoring men and women, women works best too. Matter of fact, the word 'sponsor' doesn't appear in the Big Book as far as I know. Not getting emotionally involved in a relationship just makes sence when we're trying to get sober. Waiting a year before making any life changing decisions is probably best so that my priorities are in proper order. The reason I hear things at meetings today, that have been said at meetings pretty much since the beginning is because these things work. I'm not suggesting this is the case with you Tom as you've stated, but I'm reminded of something my first sponsor said to me when I questioned too many things in the beginning. He asked me is I was trying to poke holes in the program to find a way out. There are people who do that. It just me pause to think about what my motives were.
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Old 02-13-2008, 03:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Great catch Tom,

It was never sugested to me that I share my inventory with my sponsor, he left the choice up to me.

Once I read the fifth step in the Big Book (page 72-75) I had to decide was my inventory compleat and who would hear it.

I choose my sponsor it seemed the logical choice, he would not be affected by anything that I had done and coupled with the fact that he already knew much about my life. The only thing left to face was my fear and he really helped with that. My sponsor shared openly about himself, telling me a few funny facts about his drinking. Plus after it was over he seemed amazed at how similar our stories were. Win situation all around, trash day!!!!
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Old 02-13-2008, 03:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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One of the greatest bonuses about starting this workshop where I live, is that it is giving me a lot of knowledge on both the BB and the 12&12.

When creating lesson plans, I often break down every paragraph, and every sentence. Both of my books have different color highlighters marks color coding sentences all over the pages. It's kind of humorous.


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