Watching out for anger and resentments - Living Sober

[RufusACanal]

Watching out for anger and resentments
Anger has already been touched on in this booklet, but some rough experiences have convinced us it is so important it deserves special attention from anyone wanting to get over a drinking problem

Hostility, resentment, anger — whatever word you use to describe this feeling — seems to have a close tie-up with intoxication and maybe even a deeper one with alcoholism.

For instance, some scientists once asked a large number of alcoholic men why they got drunk, and found an important answer was "So I can tell somebody off." In other words, they felt the power and freedom while drunk to express anger they could not comfortably display when sober.

Anger in all its aspects is a universal human problem. But it poses a special threat to alcoholics: Our own anger can kill us. Recovered alcoholics almost unanimously agree that hostility, grudges, or resentments often make us want to drink, so we need to be vigilant against such feelings. We have found much more satisfying ways than drinking for dealing with them.

[Signal30]

I know that when I feel anger or a fear trying to rear it's ugly head, I think to myself, "Hey!!! Your supposed to give that crap to God!" And it works. If it doesent, then I'm not holding up my side of the bargain. Self-seeking and self-reliance does not resolve resentments and fears, God does.

[kevin 311]

I'm usually not likely to drink when I'm already angry, and there have been times when I acted out of anger when otherwise sober (anger being an intoxicant on its own), although I have found some regrettable emails in the bottom of a bottle when I hadn't initially been angry about anything

anger and resentment are definitely problem areas for me, even aside from any connection with drinking

what I need to learn is skillful means to deal with things that make me angry, or me that makes angry things

maybe I should get that Thich Nhat Hanh (sp?) book on Anger

Signal30, thanks for that reminder -- turning unresolvable stuff over to God would probably help -- I should remember to do that and practice it

it would probably also help me to put these transitory little grievances in their proper context instead of holding a magnifying glass to them and setting my head on fire

[bugsworth]

Kevin, the analogy of the magnifying glass is hilarious! LOL...

I did that so much when I was drinking....mole hills to mountains...

I drank when I was angry, happy, tired, sunny, rainy, Monday....LOL

I agree that anger needs to be dealt with...we need to learn how to be angry, resolve the issue and move forward.

Great thread!

[paulmh]

The thing is for me that, even now, anger can be compulsive - comforting even! Just like a drink I can still hold it close, cuddle it, isolate myself with it - most particularly those "in the right" ones! But like so many emotional problems I have, AA has helped me to no longer be a victim of these, my own emotional states. They're something now I can be conscious of, and do something about.