Still kicking

[RJS]

"Faith is a better basis for action than fear."
I lost my job of three years. Boss got in trouble over workman's comp.

So I changed the oil and got insurance for an old van I did a repair job in exchange for and started beating the bushes. It rocks. The engine block sits right next to me, no cover, I have to manually operate the choke on the carbeurator while I drive.

A few members of our program have had a few things I could do here and there while I figure up from down and direction. A flat roof, some landscaping, I'm drawing up plans for a deck right now. And I'm a month + sober and into step 8.
My biggest hurdle with step 8. How do I repair that awful row with my family? I want to move into a motel and sever myself and call it unsalvageable. Two families raising my two daughters, now I can't even pay child support, I uncovered in the fourth I was buying their goodwill, but it's still my duty to be financially responsible.

I feel like getting on a bus or hiding under a rock instead of trying to be a part of all their christmas stuff.
So these steps are helping me deal with these issues, taking drastic and sometimes unpleasant action, according to concience and direction, for uncertain results, trusting God will work things out the way He sees fit. I feel like I'm walking on thin air.
Any point I can choose disbelief and despair or belief, acceptance of circumstances and God's will for me and keep going. Despair calls to me like a bullhorn. It's almost like a drug.
I've had opportunities lately to go to Wolfe Street Center in Little Rock to attend meetings and their 25th year anniversery last night. Only meeting I've ever been outside this little town. Met Joe McQ.'s widow, and the people that run the place, and a bunch of oldtimers.
AA's pretty big. Had to be a thousand members all in one place.

[CarolD]

:wow: Glad to see your recovery is shineing on.

[jimhere]

Thank you for sharing this. Stay the course.
Jim