First Days In Recovery, what does step 1 mean?

[On~Fire]

Though it sounds simple and i am not trying to over analyze what surrendering means. How much does the way you come into recovery determine what kind of sobriety and your chances of remaining sober? To me surrendering is a submission in defeat. This to me is not a happy moment in my life. Even though for today i am glad (happy) that im sober. I know this will not be everyday for the rest of my life. Im taking a few days off and starting over. I know i need to stay motivated. I know i need to start a program immediatly. I only hope that the pain and humiliation i have caused myself is enough to keep me sober for the rest of my life. I dont want to forget what life is like, how bad it is when im drinking. Even the hardcore A's dont want to be around me. I hate who i am when im drinking. I really need that spiritaul awakening to keep me sober. I am not just a heavy drinker i am a full fledged alcoholic who is such a nice guy sober. But the drink brings out the Hyde in me. The effects of my drinking will take a long time to even attempt to remedy. In God i know i can do this. I just hope i can have enough faith in him to turn my life over to him for good. Its scary and im doing everything i can to listen to the positive voices in my head. I know that is God talking to me. I know without it i will never have a chance of staying sober for any length of time.

[CarolD]

Welcome to our 12 Step Forum On Fire...

Here is Step 1

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable

To get an idea of how some of us worked this
please check out...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-welcomed.html (Discussion and Sharing Welcomed!)

Blessings

[nandm]

Originally Posted by On~Fire

....How much does the way you come into recovery determine what kind of sobriety and your chances of remaining sober?.....

My thoughts are that it does not matter how a person comes to the conclusion they have a drinking problem, or what brings them to recovery but the bottom line is at some point they have to decide that they want sobriety for themselves and are willing to go to any lengths to get it (do what ever it takes). Someone who is trying to get sober to save a marriage, stay out of jail, etc....does not stand as good of a chance as someone who recognizes they have a problem and are willing to do what it takes to find and utilize a solution.

......To me surrendering is a submission in defeat. This to me is not a happy moment in my life. Even though for today i am glad (happy) that im sober........

Surrender is not defeat. I see surrender in the terms of a war; we have to accept that losing some of the smaller battles is a part of war it does not mean we will not win the war. (not that I like war, my thoughts are it is a stupid way to deal with problems, but that is another topic entirely).
It is only through surrendering to the fact that we are alcoholic and we need help for the problem that we become open to recovery. It is one of the paradoxes of A.A. Surrender to win. Looks to me like you have already surrendered to the fact that you are an alcoholic and you need help. So you have already surrendered.

.......I am not just a heavy drinker i am a full fledged alcoholic who is such a nice guy sober. But the drink brings out the Hyde in me.........

I only hope that the pain and humiliation i have caused myself is enough to keep me sober for the rest of my life. I dont want to forget what life is like, how bad it is when im drinking. Even the hardcore A's dont want to be around me. I hate who i am when im drinking.

I work to keep toward the front of my mind the exact same thing. My thoughts are I can not glorify my drinking. I have to remember the bad as well and toward the end it was more bad than good. Alcohol kicked my a**. By remembering that it helps remind me why I need to be viligent with the program of A.A. so I don't go back there.

Good luck, it sounds like you are on the right track. Sometimes it is really easy to overanalyze and miss the fact that we already have the answer to our problem. That is why I like these discussion boards, they help me sort out what is in my head. Glad you are posting.

[livenletlive]

Originally Posted by On~Fire

I just hope i can have enough faith in him to turn my life over to him for good.

Try to keep in mind, this is a 24 hour program. Keep it in the day. Surrender for the 24 hours and thank Him for keeping you sober at night.

[RufusACanal]

Welcome. Do you have a Sponsor?

[BP44]

When I worked the first step with my sponsor we started out by me telling him my story. This took two sit down sessions of about an hour and a half each. What unfolded was the truth about my drinking. The loss of control, the attempts in vain to regain control, the progression, the consequences. The mental state became apparent before the first drink, particularly the times I drank after I had some sober time and exposure to this program. We then read The Doctor's Opinion, More About Alcoholism, There is a Solution, and the 12&12. He then had me do an unmanageability list which revealed the effects my drinking had on others, my financial, professional life and legal effects. In the end, I was defeated. It was then that I realized that I had two options. One was to continue down a path to a certain alcoholic death, the other was to follow a spiritual path of recovery from a seemingly hopeless state of mind , body and spirit. I was left with no other options. I had already tried all of those options, and they had led back to the first option....alcoholic death. That is when I started picking up the spiritual tools my sponsor and others in my home group were laying at my feet. I needed to know at the deepest levels that I was defeated and that I was beyond human aid. While it doesn't feel good, and it didn't feel good to me either, feelings aren't based on fact. And the reality is I had hope. My sponsor told me that if I was willing to go to any length, then he would show me how he got sober. The next thing I knew we were at step 2. I saw a post earlier about working the 4th step without a sponsor, and I just can't imagine doing any of this deal without one. I resisted sponsorship for so long, what can I say, I was insane.

[Music]

Originally Posted by On~Fire

To me surrendering is a submission in defeat. This to me is not a happy moment in my life.

Right on! Just stick with that and apply it to alcohol and you'll be well on your way.

[On~Fire]

I have not found a sponsor and have not went to any meetings. This is of great concern to me and i will start doing both tomorrow. Well i did call the main aa office in my city. I talked to a really nice gentleman who recommended a sponsor for me at his home group. Although i wont be able to make that meeting today i will make a meeting and set that one up for the day after. Also this is my 5th day sober. So i figure i owe myself 5 meetings in addition to my daily meetings. 90 in 90 sounds right. But i will follow my sponsors advice if he chooses to take me on as his sponsee.

[CarolD]

Sounds like a good plan....OF


Blessings

[GrouchoTheCat]

Step 1

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."

The preceding "short form" of step one appears simple. Gut level permanence of sobriety, however, "develops slowly over a period of time" as the 12 steps treat underlying causes of compulsion to drink, while retraining us for "contented useful" lives.

Five "One Day At a Time" suggestions were passed down by my sponsor.

---- make a statement that I will not drink for one day;
---- attend at least one AA meeting;
---- talk to another alcoholic of sponsor level sobriety.
---- read AA literature. I read the Big Book Step 11 page 86 about "Upon Awakening......to end of chapter" each day, for several years.

The words above are not my words, but they say it well.

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.

Yep Alcohol. Doesn't say anything else.

Booze had me beat.

Best to you,

Ted