Our Real Purpose.

[Barto]

"At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." p.77

[CarolD]

God+Service=Serenity

[barb dwyer]

That's the central one I'm burning into my head, barto -

"this isn't my life any more."

[Tazman53]

Barto that is so very true, I was not planning on doing a meeting Monday night, it was going to be a family evening...... well the phone rang and a guy who has been in and out of the rooms for 5 or 6 years at least called wanting to know if I could give him a ride to a meeting.

Well my wife got home and asked if I was going to a meeting and I told her yes. She said I thought we were having a family night and I told her a guy called that needed a ride so I was going. God bless her..... she looked at me with a little grin and said "I understand".

Hmmm maybe she is catching a bit of what I got! LOL

I still have a long way to go to maximize my service, but I am progressing.

[Barto]

Barb, me too.

Taz, you are a lucky man. Your wife sounds great!

[jimhere]

Many in A.A. believe that sobriety is about "getting a life," contradicting our real purpose in life. I did not get a life in A.A., I was given back my life as free and clear gift in the middle of January 1991. I might add that A.A. did not give me that gift. God got me sober and A.A. has shown me what to do with that gift, how to polish it and make it shine.

This will be rather lengthy, so please bear with me. I am going to attempt to convey, how through the process of steps Four through Nine I was able to be useful to a father that I had at the worst hated, and at the best blamed for my life.

My dad left when I was thirteen and I didn't see much of him again until I was almost twenty. He never sent much money and my mother had to work two jobs to support my sisters and I. Meanwhile I started drinking and using drugs. When I was a year out of school, my mom said I had to leave her house. I had burned all my bridges, so I asked my dad for money for a bus ticket from Enid, Oklahoma to Everett, Washington. At this point I already was blaming him for the way my life turned out, but that didn't stop me from asking him for money and then mooching off of him for nearly a year. When I got to Washington, I found out that while he never sent much money to my mom, he was living in high style. This added fuel to a resentment that was to fester aqnd grow for the next almost twelve years. Meanwhile I borrowed money from him, never intending to pay it back, wrecked a few of his vehicles, and he bailed me out of jail on several occasions. After I got married, he would come to visit and see his grandson. I would tell him to get the hell out of my house.

Fast forward to when I am almost two years sober. I had writen an inventory and was able to forgive my dad. I saw how his own spiritual sickness had kept him restless and wandering. I saw that he regretted much in his life and in his own way had tried to make amends. I saw how I had harmed him by shutting him out of my life when he wanted to see my son. I was able to say to him how wrong I'd been and how much I regretted it, and then ask him how I could make it right. He was at a point in life that he was not in very good shape financially, so I was able to pay him back the money I owed him. Then it turned out he needed a place to stay, so I opened my home to him. Every Tuesday night some alcoholics that I sponsored came over and we were going through the steps. It was a bit awakward for dad, but I told him that he didn't have to leave since it was his home too. One day, a fellow arrived a bit early and he and my dad visited on the porch, talking about fishing. Probably the thing that made my dad the happiest was fishing, and my sponsee invited my dad fishing. My sponsee and my dad became fishing buddies! After that, when people showed up on Tuesdays, dad would greet them and serve them coffee. Because of me living this way, my dad was a part of my life and I was able to be useful to him in a way I couldn't have imagined. I might add that God did not use my best, He used my worst as a tool that healed my dad and mine's relationship.

Dad passed away when I was seven years sober. We never did see eye to eye about a lot of things, but when he died, there were no loose ends, nothing unsaid, nothing undone, no regrets. We were square.
Jim

[Barto]

That’s a great story Jim. Sorry about his passing just the same. I’d hit the “thanks” button, but it appears to be down. It really is miraculous isn’t it?

[Tazman53]

Thanks for sharing Jim.

[jimhere]

Taz & Barto, you are welcome. Maybe there should be a "you're welcome " button.
Jim

[barb dwyer]

JimHere!!!!! Good to see ya!

thank you for that. I miss ya!!!

Personally , I'm hoping for a 'what he just said' button .. LOL

[Tazman53]

Jim & Barb I like the idea of both of those buttons, most of the time I hit the thanks button it is more for agreement of what has been said, but there are times where it is also something I needed to hear at the time.

[Barto]

I like the idea of a “you’re welcome” button if we’re going to stick with the “thanks” button.

The problem I had with the "thanks" button is that I think everyone deserves to be thanked for their share whether I agree with it or not [today]. I found a solution though.

[Barto]

Hey, I just noticed you can click to "Remove Your Thanks." I guess this is to be used in case you thank someone inadvertently and then suddenly realize the magnitude of the danger involved.

Or maybe it can be used where the person you thanked disagrees with you in another thread.

[Tazman53]

Or maybe it can be used where the person you thanked disagrees with you in another thread.

An instant revenge or resentment remover of sorts! LOL

[fraankie]

so many terrific comments
it's true
love and kindness message is a winner

best
fraankie

[barb dwyer]

I lov that ... political leverage via the thanks button ...

*just imagine*

"agree with me all the time, or I'll remove my thanks to you" ...LOL

[GlassPrisoner]

Every time I say our primary purpose is to stay sober, and help other alcoholic to achieve sobriety, someone reminds me of that page