About your HP

[needtobefree]

I'm struggling with this one, although I was told to let it unfold at a meeting on Saturday I'm finding it difficult. I have a history of being involved with a cult in my early 20's which has affected me in so many ways.

Can people tell me about their HP and their journey to finding him/her/it?

[CarolD]

God has been in myy life since I was born.
My drinking made me shun my spiritual path.

In sobriety...I returned to my childhood God
of love and forgiveness.

Once again...we are connected and that
gives me great joy and serenity.

Thanks for letting me share.

[SaTiT]

I struggled with it, not a cult but religion felt like a cult, to me.
that's what different about AA..AA is not a cult.
Basicially truning my will and life over to the care of a HP...and not
another human being...that's the big, big different from a cult.
And it's that freedom to belive in what ever works for me and i
don't have to belive like anyone else. Because what works for you
might kill me or visa versa

That's why the the traditions are the way they are..if you study it
or read it a little bit..It prevent a group of people or an indiviual
from taking over AA

For me..I just had to stay open or keep my door open.
I found my answer in tradition #2..a loving god that would express itself
in an AA group...So I just applied that to myself.
A loving god/HP that would express itself in my conscious.
It was like going against the grain of everything of what how i use to
belive. So after struggling with it for a while..and you know how we
can all go into a great debate about god or what god is or if there's
even a god...which makes it very complicate..

I just remember that it's simple program..and i kept it simple.
I just accepted it or practice accepting that my HP or a loving HP
loves me no matter. Even if i didn't belive..becuase as i said it's
going against the grain..it's too simple.

Basically it was a prelude..I learned acceptance through working
step #1. I accepted that I was an alcoholic..but through that , the
lesson itself was acceptance. So what ever principle I learned from
working each steps..I applied those principles in working the proceeding
steps.

Gradually as i recover..my perception changed of what my HP is
anyways...I see things cleaer as i get closer.
But my foundation is...A loving HP that would express itself in my
life.

[Barto]

God simply is everything that exists in the moment. Accepting everything that exists in the moment, as the way it is supposed to be, is accepting God. (Trying to change what you cannot change is a characteristic of alcoholism.)

Willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness, are the keys. I don’t believe any human can really understand God.

Regarding God-consciousness or “spiritual experience,” most of our (AA members’) spiritual experiences are of the “educational variety,” as opposed to the profound sudden awareness type. That’s my very brief take on it anyway – a glimpse into God as I understand God.

You’ll come up with your own conception in time. Don’t worry. Mine has evolved over years, and if it had happened any differently, it wouldn’t have been the same.

That sounds kind of circular, huh.

[best]

When I first stopped the intake of alcohol, my HP was my sponsor I guess.
I trusted his words because he shared from his heart and his own life was a proof that we can stop and gain control of dealing with life. Can't gain control of life but I did gain how I deal with it.
As for my finding God... I picked up a bible and started to read one day and as I turned page after page in my reading, I felt the words jump off the page and shout...Wow this stuff is true. Two different points in time but two points that changed my life.
As I look back over my life, I came to a conclusion that... Even before I knew Him, He was there. If not for the grace of God...

[laurie6781]

When I started attending AA they suggested I find a Power Greater Than Myself. You see when I got here I had divorced myself from the God of my growing up years (The Catholic Faith). They said I might like to use the group, or a tree or a rock or whatever as long as it wasn't me.

Well.............................................. ............I was and am a 'good alkie' so........................I chose a Harley Davidson Motorcycle. Yes, today it is funny, but I was serious, so for the first year of my sobriety my HP was a HD Motorcycle. Slowly as time went on, and I did a lot of searching and reading I was able to find a "God of my understanding."

My sponsor told me, and I have heard other sponsors say the same thing "if you believe that I believe than use my belief for now."

Some have substituted Good Orderly Direction for God and that worked for them.

You will find your HP................................it will happen. Relax a bit, go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the Big Book, continue daily to do the next right thing, and one day the 'light bulb' will come on and you will realize you do have an HP of your own understanding.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[Debaucher]

for me it started with wanting to want to believe...

Then a gradual acceptance that I didn't have to understand everything to believe it... that everything didn't have to fit together in my mind... I read the chapter to the agnostic a couple times...

The phrase God either is or isn't (or something like that really hit home for me)... either their is a God or there isn't... hm... well I wanted to want to believe so I took a small leap of faith and somehow I realized I was not longer wanting to want to believe but I had developed a geniune desire to believe...

my geniune desire to believe fostered the self analysis and honesty necessary to overcome the obstacles to my faith. Again I read the chapter to the agnostic and did some reflection... I decided I believed and the stuff I didn't get well prehaps I wasn't suppose to....

I believe this achievement was the start of me learning to not fight everything and anybody... resolving my faith has lifted the weight of the world off of my sholders...

[needtobefree]

Thank you all, you've given me so much to think about. I know I have trust issues, lol, so maybe that's a part of the cause :0)