Just curious....

[Jules62]

And I apologise if this is a stupid question-but I was looking up online A.A meetings and there is one listed as ESH?What does that stand for?I know there are speaker meetings and step meetings but I didn't know what this one was and thought I'd ask here.

Thanks in advance!

Rose xox

[Astro]

Experience, strength, and hope. That's what we share with each other in AA. And no question about recovery is stupid, Rose. The only way we learn is by asking, listening, learning, and sharing.

[Jules62]

Thank you Astro-I appreciate your kindness(and the info! lol)

Rosexox

[CarolD]

Hi Rose....

Glad to see you are taking posiive action

[Jules62]

Thanks Carol.It's one step(lol) closer to going to a meeting in person.I'm trying to find the courage.I've realised that I can't do this on my own and that I think soon I'm going to need people to call/talk to apart from online.I'm finding it tough just being on my own all day and fighting it.

These boards are really a life saver for me-but more and more I'm feeling the need to talk to people like me in person.I'm just scared I guess.Mostly, because where I live is a small community-that I'll walk into a meeting and see people I know(which is silly given they probably felt the same way-we're all there for the same reason right?)

Anyway-I know I need something more than what I'm currently doing.Today is a hard day and it's only morning.I'm not giving in-but I don't feel strong either.

Thank you for encouragement,

Rosexox

[Peter]

It took me a bout a year to finally build up enough nerve to go to my first meeting.

I too felt a little ashamed and feared the embarassment of seeing people I knew (and I did)

Anybody you see at an AA meeting will only look at you with respect because they too understand the courage it takes to reach out for help.

[GlassPrisoner]

This place is great, I love it. BUT, it's not a primary recovery program.

I need face to face. I need a sponsor. I need people that know more than I do, and have more experience than I do. (Yes, to my surprise, they DO exist).

The social anxiety goes away really fast. I feel comfortbale there, and this is coming from a prior big time social-phobe.

Hell, I even asked someone to borrow money today. The old me would have gotten kicked out of my apartment first.

[stone]

Originally Posted by Rose62

I've realised that I can't do this on my own and that I think soon I'm going to need people to call/talk to apart from online.I'm finding it tough just being on my own all day and fighting it.

Hi Rose, I have been trying to quit and failing since february, I went from being sober for a month with one days drinking in the middle to a month long binge with 1 sober day in the middle. At the end of that binge I realised I couldn't do it alone.
Maybe that was what was needed for me to get to a meeting but it would have been nice not to have gone through all that heartache and pain.
It seems to be helping me and I was VERY against the whole idea of AA, I tried rehab but it did nothing for me at all-thats just my own experience.

[Jules62]

Thank you Peter, GP and Stone.

I'm usually pretty good in group situations-but this is completely different(obviously) because it's not just about facing other people-it's about facing myself too and admitting to others in person that I have a problem and can't get through this on my own.I know it's my pride-and fear-that stops me, but I also know I need to get over it and help myself by going.

I'm looking up meetings that are a bit further away from here.There is one in the community center 5 minutes from where I live-but it just feels too threatening to me to go there yet.I'd rather go to one where there's less chance of seeing people I know.(but knowing my luck-it'll probably happen anyway-lol)

I know-I'm a big wuss and I shouldn't care about it-but the truth is I do.Anyway-I appreciate all you each said here.

[CarolD]

Hugs Rose...


Here is ow I figure it...
I'd rather be seen sober at AA
than drunk anywhere....

[Astro]

Originally Posted by Rose62

I'm looking up meetings that are a bit further away from here.There is one in the community center 5 minutes from where I live-but it just feels too threatening to me to go there yet.I'd rather go to one where there's less chance of seeing people I know.(but knowing my luck-it'll probably happen anyway-lol)

Hey Rose, I run into customers, old friends, even parents from my kids school at my AA meetings. Knowing there are others just like me in life is one of the greatest gifts I've received in sobriety. AA isn't a place for me to hide, it's a place to open up to others.

[Jules62]

Carol-your post made me smile.So much sense there!

Astro-heck-talk about nail my problem on the head! Here I was seeing going to A.A as a sort of clandestine 'something to hide' thing-and you just showed me how it is anything but that-a place to be open and encouraged.Oh boy-that got me right where I live-but in a good way.Thank you.I've been hiding for too long.

Rose xox

[Astro]

For me the word anonymity means keeping our recovery amongst ourselves. AA is a "we" program, we depend upon others for support.

I went to a meeting every day in my first five months, made sure I looked down at my toes and didn't make eye contact or talk with anyone. I was absolutely miserable. When I finally reached out for help and a hand to shake I couldn't believe how many people were willing to help and love me unconditionally.

[barb dwyer]

Hi Rose -

Round these parts ...
AA is more like a Secret Society than something to be ashamed of ...LOL
Just get to a meeting.

I tended bar in this town for years ...
I can't swing a dead cat without running into an ex customer in the meetings!

Astro - I've got your signature on my fridge - been there for a few years now ...*g*

GP - you crack me up!