Little nervous.......

[Tazman53]

Tonight I meet with my sponsee to begin helping him work the steps, he is my first sponsee I have worked on the steps with and this will be the first time we will be meeting for step work.

AAAARGHHHH he is a great guy and is really into it, I am nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof right now, some where in the back of my pointed head I will do something wrong!

What? Heck I don't know, I am as ready as I can be, more prayer and meditation just to bolster my spirit before we meet.

Any pointers in how not to sound stupid? LOL

[Emimily]

OMG, taz, so weird! last night at 1:10 am this girl from the rooms called me... she's 17, maybe 18, was in the rooms for a while and out for a while, and is back now at some meetings but not identifying herself as an "alcoholic"... long story. anyway, she calls me and says "i just needed someone to tell me not to drink tonight." and i was BLOWN! 'cause it's so amazing that someone called ME to ask for that! so, i chatted with her for a minute, and told her to distract herself, that drinking wasn't going to help at all, etc. etc. i don't know if i sounded stupid, but man, what a gift!

i'm so excited for you! best of luck, both of you!

[Rowan]

What a gift, Taz.

He asked you to sponsor him for a reason, and must have liked what he saw in you - so - just be yourself, and share from the heart.

I've had sponsors who spent more time talking than listening, and while there is a time for that, it's NOT when I am doing my 5th LOL!

Good luck tonight.

[Tazman53]

Emimily I have had that once, it was an awesome experience, I was at work and he called me on my cell, in a nutshell we spoke for about 5 minutes and then he said "Man that is weird, the urge is gone just by talking to some one!"

Rowan I will have to watch myself on the talking to much, one of my character defects, glad you brought that up!

[REZ]

It's normal to be nervous: it means you care. Just share your experience, strength and hope and you'll do fine.

[stone]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

Any pointers in how not to sound stupid? LOL

Yes, be yourself!

[Peter]

Based on what I see from reading your posts, you will make a good sponsor. Don't worry your pointy head 'bout it too much .

[laurie6781]

Al-anon helped me a lot in sponsoring. As long as I remember I am NOT RESPONSIBLE for their sobriety or their drinking I do fine, and SO WILL YOU.

Just share what worked for you, and then sit back and listen to the "yeah buts", roflmao

Yeah but I am different.

Yeah but mine was worse.

Yeah but I can't do that, etc

It's okay to be nervous. Just remember those 3 C's and you will do great.

You didn't CAUSE it,

You can't CONTROL it, and

You can't CURE it.

You will do great Taz!!!!!!

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[Peter]

ROFLMAO.

True one, laurie. I know the "Yeah but.." type well

[parentrecovers]

let us know if you need any references, taz...

k

[CarolD]

Brush up on
"Questionds and Answers on Sponsorship"
then

Follow Directions....

[Pilgrim]

Far as I can see you have been sponsoring a few of us here already!

What Stone said.

[Debaucher]

say the third step prayer and relax!

I am sure you will do fine...

[miss communicat]

you will be guided.

as you say, simply "follow directions". You will know just the perfect words to say

[fraankie]

go for it


best
fraankie

[Spiritual Seeker]

TazMan- I am drawn to your posts because of your perspective and they way you're workin' your recovery...probably why the sponsee asked you to sponsor. You are an awesome 12 stepper.

[Tazman53]

Wow! What an experience! After my first sponsee decided he was cured! LOL

Thanks to you all for the encouragement and advice.

Laurie not a single "But", this guy is really awesome, he is doing what he needs to be doing and more! We had a good laugh when he said "Obviously I am your average alcoholic, I want it all now! I want 2 years of sobriety under my belt!".

He already has a good understanding of what he needs to do, he did have a slight bit of a dissappointed look when I handed him "Step 0"!!! He looked at me and asked "Whats this?". I told him "Look this is not going to happen over night, but as long as you are working it, I will do my best to help you get there." He said that was cool as long as he was going to get there.

He is agnostic but said he had already been praying and had noticed some thing........ We spoke for a while on what an HP of your understanding is, he said he was really worried about that but from some prior conversations we had he said he liked AA's approach to spirituality and the prayer I had suggested had helped him come to grips with what an HP of his understanding was.

I explained how one thing he needed to try and do right now was to live steps 10-12, just to make steps 4/5 & 8/9 a bit easier! He laughed and said "I guess I should not pile on to the pile any more, huh?" LOL

Laurie trust me my first sponsee taught me why sponsees are nick named pigeons! You are so right with your advice, I can't keep him sober,nor can I get him drunk, I told him flat out that it was his program, not mine, it was all on him that I was just there to help and guide him.

I am probably one of the few sponsors with an agnostic who is not having any issues to speak of with an HP yet, we even spoke about step 3 and after some explanation he was good to go with that for now.

Next week the first half of step 1.!!

[Signal30]

Taz when someones askes me to sponsor them, I'm going to do the best I can, and use some of the ways my sponsor has helped me.

My sponsor has told me when he wonders how to handle a situation with one of his sponsies, he askes his sponsor for advice.


Just relax, go with what you know, and just like you say, tell them to follow directions.



Tom

[Tazman53]

Tom I told my sponsee that also, my sponsor told me the same thing, I will not hesitate to call my sponsor or grandsponsor for help, I love the way the fellowship works...... if I work it!

[barb dwyer]

Tazzie you goofuss ...

*hug*

you're not teaching him ... he's teaching you ... remember?

he ... is keeping YOu sober ...

that's how I think it , anyhow ...

LOL

[Spiritual Seeker]

What is "Step 0"

[laurie6781]

What is "Step 0"

For this alkie and the ones I sponsor.....................it's starting at the beginning of the Big Book and reading, especially "The Doctor's Opinion" and highlighting what jumps out at you while reading "The Doctor's Opinion." Then writing about each phrase, sentence or statement that you highlighted.

This is all in preparation for the first step. I also, when the sponsee is willing, like to have them do a timeline of their drinking, which in turn shows them in black and white the PROGRESSION of what has happened to them.

This is all in preparation for Step1. The FOUNDATION STEP. To be built of concrete, not sand. This helped me and helps those that I work with to understand and accept to the very core of one's being that I (or they) am powerless over alcohol, and that while in the grips of King Alcohol my life was unmanageable.

Step 0 is what we do or have sponsees do to understand and get prepared for Step 1.

J M H O in how it works for me and those I sponsor.

Love and hugs,

[barb dwyer]

huh. There's news.

[Tazman53]

What Laurie said, basically a prepratory phase making sure there are no misgivings or doubts about taking the steps and making sure that the sponsee is really ready to go to any length to get and stay sober.

Barb every sponsor does it basically the same as thier sponsor did with them, my sponsor is a BB Natzi, he showed me and had me discover how to do every single step in the BB and follow the directions given in the BB. We did not use the 12X12 at all.

There are probably at least 100 published ways of doing the steps and 10 times the amount of ways presented in step workshops.

Every sponsor puts a little different spin on taking a sponsee through the steps and it varies every time with every sponsee and with the sponsors time. This is al