Sponsee question?

[Tazman53]

Sometime this week I am going to sit down with my sponsee to start working on the steps, does this count as a meeting?

I know a dumb question, but I had to ask in case he ask, because he is really wanting this bad and wants to get in as many meetings as he can squeezed inbetween his IOP sessions.

[best]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

wants to get in as many meetings as he can squeezed inbetween his IOP sessions.

Does he want meetings counts or recovery?
3 meetings of proper listening for the right reasons can gain a person more then 90 in 90 just to collect meeting counts on a piece of paper.

In my opinion...
If he asks such I would guide him back to the important part of meetings...what we can gain from them to help our recovery is what matters.

[Astro]

Well, I've heard it said that it only takes two alcoholics to have an AA meeting, but in this case I'd have to say no.

For court orders and IOP's in our area the paper requires a meeting name, location, and chairpersons name, which to me indicates a regular scheduled meeting.

[Tazman53]

LOL Guys this is not court ordered, no need getting into his story after all it is his story not mine to share. LOL

Right now he calls me every day to talk about the meeting/meetings he has gone to as well as how great he feels after the meetings, he said his IOP is helpful in areas outside of drinking, but he says meetings and talking to folks in the program has been a true life saver for him.

We also speak of what he has read in the BB often, he told me last week how much he got out of AA and said he felt there was something more he needed out of the program, I told him probably what he needed to do was to start working the steps. He grinned from ear to ear and said that is what he really wanted to do.

Best he wants recovery, right now he is on a pink cloud and he has told me so. He has made some tremendous strides in just a few weeks, we have talked a lot both F2F and on the phone.

The main reason I was asking this is that I don't think either one of us should feel rushed in working the steps, we were thinking of getting together before a meeting and I did not want to short change him.

[Peter]

Good question but no, I don't think it counts as a meeting.

[Tazman53]

You know I am beginning to think that it really does not matter if it counts as a meeting or not, he is not in mandantory anything, he wants to recover.

It was suggested to me to go to at least 90 AA meeetings in 90 days out of rehab and I did "count" them but only for me and no one else.

I have not counted the total number of meetings I have gone to in about 4 months, I go to 4-6 meetings a week and see my sponsor for step work every week up until 2 weeks ago, I do not go to a meeting on nights I work steps with my sponsor because I feel working the steps with my sponsor is very spiritually fulfilling.

My sponsee and I will cross this bridge if we come to it. Maybe I was just babbling! LOL

[CarolD]

Sounds linke the 2 of you are doing great!

March on...

[mark96]

Haaa Haaa Tazman, I love it, you answered your own question. It really does not matter whether you consider it a meeting or not, in reality, it's a meeting if you chose to call it one! The only important part is that you got together and shared your experience with another. That's all we ask!! Aint it funny how sometimes we think ourselves into a fenzy, then look back at how trivial we really were! As far as working the steps, I share with them what I did with my sponsor and are they willing to do the same, if so then we go from there. I personally prefer to get together once a week on a certain day (every week) and start studying the Big Book and Twelve and Twelve. (I also throw in the Little Red Book). I've done it the same way with every person i've sponsored and they do it with the people they sponsor and so on.

[Tazman53]

Wow!!!! Talk about a blast from the past!!! I started this thread just over a year ago, my sponsee has now finsihed the steps and has over a year sober, he has a smile on his face still and a sparkle in his eye.

Funny thing Mark, I have changed a lot since then, and had already changed a lot by that point in my sobriety. One thing that has not changed for me though............. I still babble!!!

[tennis71]

I think the ultra secret AA rules hidden in Bill Wilson's vault state that if you have a pot of coffee and a resentment it counts as a meeting.

[laurie6781]

Okay, back to basics. First 90 meetings in 90 days came from treatment programs, not from AA.

Meetings ARE NOT the program of AA as outlined in the BB of AA. Meetings are the fellowship. True some 'good things' can be heard at meetings, and some 'pretty crappy' things also. To me meetings have always been a "Safe Haven" and a way to meet new sober friends. The actual program I got from reading, and re-reading, and re-reading and re-reading the first 164 pages and the Doctors opinion, and the biggie WORKING WITH MY SPONSOR.

So, if he should ask, and you don't know that he will, it will leave you an excellent opening to say NO and then go into what the program is really all about, learning how to LIVE SOBER.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[jimhere]

Anytime two or more alcoholics are gathered for the purpose of sobriety they may call themselves an AA group, provided they have no other affiliations.
-from Tradition Three, long form

Anytime I meet with someone I am taking through the steps, God is there. Personally I would rather engage in that activity than go to a meeting like the one I just came from. It was a waste of an hour of my time.
Jim

[tiburon88]

Some of the most helpful meetings for me has been the meeting after the meeting. Ya knowing grabbing a burger after a meeting & just talking. Not just about the program but everyday life as well.


Tib

[Sugah]

How was the fellowship founded? Bill W. carrying the message to Dr. Bob at Bob's kitchen table. Yes, it's a meeting - unless you want to say that our origins are irrelevant today.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Cathy31]

Taz
I'd say get into that stepwork right away - there's so such thing as rushing into steps IMHO that's what the program is fellowship (meetings) and talking is great - but self knowledge availed us nothing...remember in the BB 'this would mean little if we were not to get into action'
I say meeting or no meeting - get into the stepwork!
Cathy31
x

[Cathy31]

[quote=jimhere;1781119 I would rather engage in that activity than go to a meeting like the one I just came from. It was a waste of an hour of my time.
Jim[/QUOTE]

Hey Jim SOrry to hear that, but perhaps you helped someone else there it's never a waste if at least someone else gets something out of us being there!
Cathy31
x

[dgillz]

If he wants to get into the steps, get him started. It kills me the way people do AA now versus the old days. Now I am NOT an oldtimer, but I am a voracious reader. Everyone in AA, IMHO, ought to read Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers. In this book you will see how AA started, had growing pains, how they did things in the old days, etc.

The 2 things that always strike me as radically different from nowadays is that in the old days, there was one meeting per week. Period. Hardly anyone even had a phone in the 30s. Nowadays there 40 some meetings in just my clubhouse alone in the course of the week. We all - or at least most of us - have cell phones, email addresses, and forums like SR (I take that back, there are no forums like SR). So we should always be able to reach out for support.

The other one, which is what made me respond to a year old thread, is how quickly they used to work the steps. This used to be done in a matter of DAYS, not weeks, months or years. Dr. Bob spent 3 days sobering up after his last drunk, did some work at the hospital, then proceeded to do step 9 work - amends - that very night, 3 days after his last drink.

Imagine trying that nowadays.

But seriously, it is never too soon for step work IMHO. And if you haven't read Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers, go check it out.

[barb dwyer]

wow taz -

way to get some mileage out of an old thread

[Barto]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

Sometime this week I am going to sit down with my sponsee to start working on the steps, does this count as a meeting?

Undoubtedly. Why not?

[Barto]

Originally Posted by tennis71

I think the ultra secret AA rules hidden in Bill Wilson's vault state that if you have a pot of coffee and a resentment it counts as a meeting.

LOL!

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Cathy31

Hey Jim SOrry to hear that, but perhaps you helped someone else there it's never a waste if at least someone else gets something out of us being there!
Cathy31
x

Hey Cathy,
Sorry but it was a waste of my time. Bunch of people, some with twenty years of sobriety or more going on about how "this is a selfish program" and "I'm here to save my own ass" and other bullshit. They were not interested in anytrhing I would have had to offer. So i left and came home and worked in the yard, which is what I should have been doing anyway.
Jim

[Pinkcuda]

It shows us how important those Newcomers are. Doesn't it?
It seems when there's a group with nothing but those that have been around the block the meetings drift off in another direction.
Newcomers keep the focus on A.A.

[sugErspun]

Originally Posted by Pinkcuda