Daily Reflections - Comments Welcome

[Ann]

Daily Reflections

THE BONDAGE OF RESENTMENTS

. . . harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then
we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 5

It has been said, "Anger is a luxury I cannot afford."
Does this suggest I ignore this human emotion? I believe
not. Before I learned of the A.A. program, I was a slave
to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to
negativity, with no hope of cutting loose.

The Steps offered me an alternative. Step Four was the
beginning of the end of my bondage. The process of
"letting go" started with an inventory. I needed not be
frightened, for the previous Steps assured me I was not
alone. My Higher Power led me to this door and gave me
the gift of choice. Today I can choose to open the door
to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of the Steps, as
they cleanse the spirit within me.

[lanie67]

This is a really nice meditation. I've shared elsewhere about having been through some personal drama. The most caustic remark made to me during this time was very hurtful. The woman who made it was standing up for a friend based on things he'd said to her about me that weren't true, but she believed him. Just a few nights ago he was very verbally abusive to her, using the f-word and calling her the b-word several times. It was awful to witness. The irony is that he turned on her after years of friendship based on things another party had said that she did, that I would guess are most probably not true, based on my knowledge of the third party involved.

I know that is a circle of drama, which is very uncommon for me at this stage of my life, but it really, REALLY brought home to me how useless resentment is. Higher power worked things out and took care of them, and continues to. I resented this woman for a while, but eventually got over it and it really had neutral feelings toward her when I witnessed this the other night. I don't wish bad stuff on people, but to have this woman apologize to me and realize that she came to this realization by being on the receiving end of the same behavior that I'd been subjected to, well it's more 'congruent' than anything I could have ever come up with. Throughout this whole situation I'd asserted that I felt that seeking 'revenge' on people mucks everything up, and this reaffirmed that for me. I just stepped out of the way, and hp took care of something in a small way for me, because the man's insane behavior cast a pall over his slander against me as well, now more and more people are starting to doubt the veracity of what he says because his behavior is so off the wall. That is why also the advice about praying for people we resent is so powerful, because it shifts my mood towards them to a positive one. HP will work it out, I just need to stay out of the way, and continue to ask hp to help me let go of resentment