When should one do their 4th step?

[Tazman53]

I heard an old timer tell a guy "The time to do your 4th step is when you want to stop hurting.".

So simple an answer yet so true, one day, as long as I pile up enough ODAATs, I pray I will be granted the ability to provide such short, straight forward answers to questions that some times seem so complex.

[lightseeker]

Hi -

I was at a meeting night before last and someone asked that same question. The real answer IMHO is that you work a 4th step right after you've worked the 3rd step.

It helped me to get some of the guide sheets. The purpose of the 4th step is to get it out - NOT to relive the pain. It's all about being able to let go and also identify your character defects that lead you to drinking.

Good luck with it! It's not nearly as bad as it feels like it will be.

Donna

[Tazman53]

Donna I did just as you said, my sponsor told me to read what the BB said as soon as I finished step 3:

Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action ... at once...[Big Book page 63, line 32 & page 64, line 3]

We spent the next 2 1/2 hours discussing how to take inventory the way the BB says to do it.

The promises after step 5 have all come true, we did 6 & 7 4 days later and then discussed in depth 8 & 9. He looked at me and grinned and said "I bet you have a longer list for 9 then you did for 4!" I had to laugh, I said "Yea Jake, your right, step 5 was freeing enough, but if I ever finish step 9 I will be beyond free."

lightseeker you will not get any arguement from me as to when the BB says to start/do your 4th step.

I switched sponsors because I wanted to stop the pain and my first sponsor after 3 months sober had not even worked with me through the 1st step. Do not get me wrong, he is a great guy and helped me a lot, but between his job and traveling he simply did not have the time to help me through them.

I have been working with my new sponsor for just a little over 3 months and am now working 8-9.

The pain is almost totally gone..... God is great!

I am sure you see the same things in the rooms that I see, people who knock out the first 3 and then keep putting off that 4th step, then once they do it they seem to always share how freeing it was to do. This is usually when someone who has been putting it off for way to long will ask that question stating that they whipped right through the first three long ago.

Doing it right after step 3 is also mentioned.

[miss communicat]

Well...It must be April! I finally figured out that many of meetings (rotationg ones) do a step each month and that this is 4th step month (for discussion purposes anyway). My 2 cents:

I approach the 12 steps with all the earnestness at my command, but my spiritual development seems to zig zag. I definitely agree that one must completely take steps 1-2-3 before step 4, and that steps 1-2-3 are (for me, anyway) the steps that, if not solid, will take me out.

My sponsor chaired this weeks meeting and she spoke with a sense of urgency, that we should do a 4th step as soon as possible, as soon as the fog lifts. I agree with that.

In fact, she spoke with such zeal and fervor that she had me wanting to do another one! The benefits, for me, have been relief from long standing anxiety and depression, and of course, a clearer perspective on my life.

This is the step where we "grow up".

When I got sober originally (before my 3 yr backslide) I waited 4 (!) years to do a 4th step out of crazy, blown out of proportion fear. Boy, I dont recommend waiting that long! Life pretty much stayed the same, except that I was dry.

[GlassPrisoner]

I was about 60 days in. But I was desperate, literally fighting for my life. I didn't "rush" the steps, my sponsor made sure of that. But I did have a definite fire lit under my a**.