Quality NOT Quantity

[Carol87]

I posted this sometime ago in another group ... came across it while searching for a different post.

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"A.A. Thought for the Day
The length of time of our sobriety is not as important as its quality. A person who has been in A.A. for a number of years may not be in as good mental condition as a person who has only been in a few months. It is a great satisfaction to have been an A.A. member for a long time and we often mention it. It may sometimes help the newer members, because they may say to themselves, "If they can do it, I can do it." And yet the older members must realize that as long as they live, they are only one drink away from a drunk. What is the quality of my sobriety?
Excerpt Twenty-Four Hours a Day, December 8"

What is the quality of my sobriety? I relate to this reading today … … although I had quantity, I didn’t have quality sobriety until I had been in AA for quite a long time. In my case, it was a case of getting out of denial, and as a local AA member puts it … got OFF the bubble and got IN the bubble .. also known as WORKING the program. I have a wallet card that sums it up:


Thoroughly Follow The Path
Don’t Drink
Go To Meetings
Get A Sponsor
Read The Big Book
Work All 12 Steps – In Order

And I add find a Higher Power and Pray ...
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[REZ]

I agree with this to a certain extent. But there is also no substitute for experience. The more sober time you have, the more things you go through, and if you stay sober, and continue working the steps, the more you learn. It is not easy to stay clean for a long time in AA (10, 15, 20, or more years). I have great respect for those who do.

[kevin 311]

maybe a little OT from the original post, but as someone very new to recovery and now comfortable with the AA program, a side effect of AA practice for me is that I am really starting to get what people generally mean by Quality versus Quantity regarding life versus things

by trusting others more, having faith, being patient and accepting, and letting go of fear, I am really beginning to appreciate some fine and subtle flavors of life

Yay!!!

[GoldenGutters]

This is a real slippery slope many people use as justification for arrogance. Just because we're sober doesn't mean life becomes a bed of roses. Some people get lifed on more than others. If I found out my partner of eight years had knowingly infected my with HIV or was actively involved with someone else would I : A) Be the bastion of serenity and acceptance; Or B) Be one mean and bitter MF for a while. Reality is, I'd probably be a mean and bitter MF. It happened to a friend of mine and he was. He didn't drink or use through out that nightmare and he kept attending meetings....thats what I call quality sobriety.

[Grasshopper]

Quality not quanity..both are judgement calls,on my part,and ones that i try to stay away from.Another ,person,may apper not having any quality,.But once i learn where they came from,what their past was and where they are today.Yupper they have come a longgggggggggggg way.Progress never perfection.

[kevin 311]

Carol87, REZ and GG, thanks for your posts -- this is a very good topic for me to consider and I appreciate the points you're making. You too, Grasshopper! (I must have been revising when you posted).

As a newbie it's good for me to hear these things ahead of time -- I'm definitely in the abstract understanding phase more than experiential understanding.

Because one of our lecturers in the rehab program likes to dig at the roots of words, I've been doing a little dictionary work, looking up key words to have a look at their roots as well as clarification of meaning (e.g., difference between sponsor and mentor).

Under "sober", aside from abstaining from alcohol (not a drop!), some other things I can use from the definitions are being moderate in consumption in general (i.e., not gluttonous), whether eating or shopping -- also, moderation of emotions, which reminds me that in trad. Chinese medicine it's not recommend to become either too sad OR too joyous (!) because either extreme can throw one's system out of whack. But of course emotions happen, like the weather.

Anyways, I can see that emotional resilience is a very important aspect of quality sobriety.

I'm also thinking there might be an analogy with zen or yoga meditation where during the course of practice (so I have read) there are transient flashes or episodes of greater clarity and stillness along the way, but after time, some practitioners become more "established" in the state or zone.

Abstract ramblings from a beginner, I know

Blessings, peace and contentment to you all,

K

[Grasshopper]

Thanks for sharring,Kevin

[Debaucher]

BB. PG. 85.

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."

[Barto]

However, I am not so sure any one can judge the quality of any other’s sobriety. I do like this saying, though:

“A man’s success is not measured by how much he has [attained], but by how much he has overcome.”

There are many in the fellowship who do not have what I want today, but there are others striving to get just that.

:accg:

[CarolD]

Hmmm....I like both...

Quality AND Quantity

[Chabroso]

When I first came into the fellowship I would have given anything for quantity. I struggled to stay sober for more than a few days.
As each sober day passed (quantity) the quality of my life improved. Quantity was all I was seeking at the beginning of my sobriety.
My definition of quality, for me, came later.