Disruptive drunks in meetings

[REZ]

How do you handle a situation where you have a loud, disruptive drunk in an AA meeting? I know that traditions say the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so anyone can be a member. But does that mean that you can do anything you want in a meeting without being asked to go outside or be quiet? What about group unity?

[CarolD]

In our group the chairperson requests that
disruptive members sit quietly
or leave the room.

If this is not done..2 members escort them out.

Once we had to call the cops..
she left before they came.

[Astro]

At the meetings I attend the chairperson has the authority to ask someone who is disrupting a meeting to leave. It's rare but needs to be done once in awhile. We do make sure a few people leave with them, talk to them outside, and keep the coffee flowing. Showing love, tolerance, caring, and compassion is the least we can do, after all I was there myself at one time.

[Fluttering]

When Bill & Bob first started this they had a great many drunks in their meetings. A person would approach the drunk and ask them to walk outside with them. Once outside they would tell them they are welcome at the meetings but only if they can sit there quietly. They would ask if they need a ride home. At which time they =would attempt to share with the drunk that things could change for him too if he was willing.

At one particular meeting, they had a meeting regarding allowing a particular person into the meeteing. One of the gentelman was quatoed to have said , "The only thing going through my mind was the question," What would the master do?"

It has also been known to happen that a group would agree to approach the person and ask him/her if they want to be sober and then just go from there depending on the reply.

It would be up to the secretary of the meeting to determine best how to handle it

[paulmh]

Thanks Mary. That seems pretty clear.

I was alwasy very frightened. In AA that seems to have largely gone. I have escorted a couple of boisterous members in drink outside for a chat. I have also escorted a couple of boisterous members inside to shut them up.

[jimhere]

When I was trying to get sober, I would attend meetings at a local hall when I had been drinking. Once I was disruptive. Two men came over, took me downstairs, got me a cup of coffee, and said in a very loving but firm way, "Look, you are disrupting the meeting for the others. You are welcome to come back when you can behave yourself." They understood that the good of the group comes before any individual. (First Tradition) I experienced the Traditions before I knew about them.

One time I was at a meeting where there was a noisy drunk that kept interupting the meeting. When the chairperson asked him to please be quiet, he got rather belligerent. I called 911 when it became apparent that he wasn't going to settle down and was posing a danger to himself and others. The police came and took him to a detox. Some people were shocked that I would call the police on a fellow alcoholic. I don't think that they understood the principle involved, that it was for the man's own good as well as the group's. (First Tradition)

Later on I saw the man and was able to explain to him that it was nothing personal and why I did what I did. He still isn't sober, but I see him once in a while and there are no hard feelings between us.
Jim

[jlo34]

I remember being at many meetings while intoxicated. I was never asked to leave...but I do remember one meeting in particular. I was being very distractive during an open speaker and a woman took me aside after the meeting and said, "this is a life and death program, if you want it, shut up and listen; if you don't, then don't let the door hit you in the arse on your way out".

Course times are a lot different now. That was 16 years ago.

I've been at some meetings where there was a disruptive drunk/sober person and it is usually handled well by the "elders". We try to remain respectful, but also, keeping in mind traditions and doing the greatest good for the greatest numbers.

Blessings...good topic,
Jen

[barb dwyer]

It's only happened a couple of times since I've been back in the Fellowship, but two 'oldtimer' fellows will escort the disruptor downstairs.

I don't know what gets said, but the person is usually back the next day -
sober.

I haven't witnessed an incident with a woman ... yet.

I look at it as HP giving us a 'howyadoin - remember this?' kind of thing.

Thanks! Made me think!
(ow! skull cramp!)

[best]

I would think the same gets done as would for someone not drunk and being disruptive.

Please be a little less loud or we will have to ask you to leave.

[fraankie]

i usually focus on myself
i have been at meetings
where a guy is obviously drunk
once or twice
someone eventually says something to him

it's a good reminder where i came from
so............................

best
fraankie

[Fluttering]

Originally Posted by jlo34

I remember being at many meetings while intoxicated. I was never asked to leave...but I do remember one meeting in particular. I was being very distractive during an open speaker and a woman took me aside after the meeting and said, "this is a life and death program, if you want it, shut up and listen; if you don't, then don't let the door hit you in the arse on your way out".

Course times are a lot different now. That was 16 years ago.

I've been at some meetings where there was a disruptive drunk/sober person and it is usually handled well by the "elders". We try to remain respectful, but also, keeping in mind traditions and doing the greatest good for the greatest numbers.

Blessings...good topic,
Jen

There really are many today that think the revolving door is a requirement for membership. With that thought they seem to have very little respect for those that are at the meetings because it truly is life and death. I know I have anoher drunk in me --Problem is I also know I do not have another come back so I MUST be at the meetings and I must listen to what is being said so I can add to my spiritual toolbax so I do not become complacent.

I am so surprised at so many people who have forgotten how to whisper quietly and most of all the multitude who forgot how they used to pass notesin school. Talking during a meeting, even the whispering is so distractive. If you want to socialize take it outside--but if you want to learn how to live sober--It is time to shut up and listen.

[Tazman53]

I went to one meeting pretty lit up one time, I was a little to drunk to even begin to understand what was going on, but I was quiet and it quieted my wife down that evening! LOL

I have one meeting a guy attended at least a month fall down drunk, never any real trouble though and the old timers always latched on to him after the meeting. The last time I saw him he was sober and looking pretty good at a meeting.

I have never seen any one pulled aside yet, I am sure the day will come though, hopefully they will keep coming back and be more willing to listen.

[Rowan]

I was at a Saturday night meeting not too long ago, and a gentleman, when it was his turn to share, spoke in measured tones about that night's topic.

He then briefly mentioned how important it was for us to listen to one another respectfully, and how we all, regardless of who we are or where we came from, deserved this same respect.

You see, that night was an especially disruptive one. Numerous conversations were taking place in not-so-hushed whispers, and there was a lot of giggling going on. The chairperson did not address this, and some of us, like myself, squirmed resentfully until the gentleman I mentioned spoke.

He said it lovingly, and without any finger pointing; none was necessary, as the offenders all knew who they were. You could have heard a pin drop as he spoke, and the whole tone of the meeting changed after that.

It was the most effective method I have ever seen employed at a meeting. Mind you, this likely wouldn't work for a drunk sitting amongst us, but I just wanted to share my experience with the whole 'disruption' thing.

Thanks for letting me share.

Rowan