Something to share ... just not sure WHAT it is...

[barb dwyer]

Hi everyone!
I'm still barb - and I'm still at LEAST ... an alcoholic.

Something happened tonight in our meeting, and I wanted to share it with y’all.

Our meetings are very very unstructured. Tuesday is BB study, and Thursday is 12X12. Other than that – Monday night is ‘candlelight’ (i.e. christmas lights thumbtacked to the walls for ‘ambiance’ … we like to think of it as ‘tacky chic’) and that’s about it. Keep yer discussion brief, and limited to your problems with alcohol. Don’t talk while others are.

You know – quite basic.

For whatever reasons, the local NA has had to combine their group with ours. While AA does have ‘closed’ meetings, the 8:00 is open to all. So lately, we’ve had a good number of NA people with nowhere else to go in our open meetings. Their input has been refreshing and very helpful, to me, at least.

Tonight – we had a gambler come in – asking for help.
I was kind of taken aback at that one. I thought there was a GA in town, but apparently not any more.

I was so … moved … struck ... by this person’s courage to walk into an AA meeting and say, I can’t get anyone to hear me … I have no where else to go … can I be here? Is there a place for me here?
Which is almost literally what this person said.

My God. The courage of that.

I’m sayin.
Kicked my behind.
I was so proud of my friends in the Fellowship tonight. I saw tonight why it is that I look up to them.
This person needed a ‘first step’ meeting, walked right in and asked for one, in fact … and the alcoholics who know gambling addiction stepped up to the plate. It was nothing short of miraculous.

I’m grateful and humbled to have been allowed to be present.

Did you ever think you'd say "Thank God for cross-addiction?"

But I’m also grateful for open meetings.
And for our relaxed formless format.
I remember thinking , ‘What if this had been me? What if I had had no place to go? Would I have had the courage to walk into someplace like that and ask for help?’

You know – I don’t think I would.

Which brings my latest and second most favorite AA slogan right into the room :

“I am responsible. When anyone anywhere reaches out for help; I want the hand of AA to be there. And for that – I am responsible.”

Wow.
I hope I got the point across ... I'm still kinda blown away by the whole thing. I know it was a miracle ... I am just having a time getting my mind around exactly what it was I witnessed.

I saw it y’all – front row seat!
It works! God bless Dr. Bob and Bill!

Thanks for letting me share;
barb

[Wisconsin_Al]

I love your story and I enjoy both open and closed meetings. Being with NA people and others are refreshing and seeing people with others issues helping those in the similar situation is beautiful.

One that stands out was a soldier back from Iraq and he was not doing well. Besides alcohol addiction his post traumatic stress was very serious and potentially life threatening. He was in therapy but needed more.

Fortunately, or as we sometimes call it a GMC (God Manufacture Coincidence), there was a marine in our group also back from Iraq who could relate. His sobriety and program are well established and he was in the unique position to speak to this man in a way we could not.

It was a time we could watch a sermon not listen to one. Those are the best sermons.

[CarolD]

Wow! and Double Wow!

[Tazman53]

You know folks I got beyond choked up reading both of those shares! As Barb already quoted I will do it again:

“I am responsible. When anyone anywhere reaches out for help; I want the hand of AA to be there. And for that – I am responsible.”

Loving your fellow man and demonstrating it by putting out the hand of AA is what keeps us sober!

[GlassPrisoner]

I've always questioned closed meetings anyway.

I guess if anonymity is REALLY important (like the President of something) then yeah. Otherwise, I've always been of the opinion that all are welcome, ESPECIALLY those in need.

That said, druggies can probably relate better to another druggies, gamblers to another gambler, etc. Even though a lot of us probably cross over into other addictions anywhoo.

[jimhere]

Hi barb,
At the risk of taking an unpopular position I'd like to add my two cents.

I would suggest your group take a look at the pamphlet "Problems Other Than Alcohol." It is taken from a GrapeVine article wrotten by Bill Wilson in February 1959.

If your AA group combines with the NA group, it is no longer an AA group, it is a special purpose group or meeting.

Asw for the gambler coming to the open AA meeting for help and inspiration, great! But don't mislead him/her into believing he is an AA member. By all means one of your AA group members can (and maybe should) take him/her through the 12 steps. Help that person get a strong foundation of recovery and then help them start a GA Fellowship in your town.

The steps will work for any problem that has a spiritual root, provided there is a foundation of truth. The fellowships won't necessarily work for any other problem other than the one they are designed for.
Jim

[jimhere]

There is a time and a place for open meetings and a time and a place for closed meetings.

These days I don't think it is so much about anonymity as it is about identification. My home group is a traditional group and our meeting is closed. That is where I go to be really connected to AA. I attend other meetings that are open. Some are really good, and some leave a lot to be desired. Too often I've seen an NA meeting break out in an open AA meeting. That is because that, although it was an open meeting, the group chose to ignore both our single purpose and our primary purpose. Which, under the umbrella of the Fourth Tradition, they can do. But I just wonder what it would be like for my seventy-eight year old alcoholic uncle who has never been to an AA meeting in his life. Could he identify with the heroin addicts? With the crackheads? With the meth addicts? I doubt it. He would be asking the same question as the gambler-"Am I in the right place?" And he would most likely leave and go die of alcoholism, which he is going to do soon anyway.

We should be helping the addicts, the gamblers, etc. to recover and then help them get strong in their respective fellowships. Then they wouldn't have to come to our meetings. A fellowship is a gathering of people of a like mind. That's why there is different denominations of churches. It is even more important in the recovery community because lives are at stake.
Jim

Originally Posted by GlassPrisoner

I've always questioned closed meetings anyway.

I guess if anonymity is REALLY important (like the President of something) then yeah. Otherwise, I've always been of the opinion that all are welcome, ESPECIALLY those in need.

That said, druggies can probably relate better to another druggies, gamblers to another gambler, etc. Even though a lot of us probably cross over into other addictions anywhoo.

[barb dwyer]

Hi {{{ jimhere }}}

I want you to know - I actually THOUGHT about you during that meeting ... LOL

Like I said - I'm not sure what I actually witnessed that night - I only know it was amazing. And HP was in the driver's seat. I know that much without doubt.

The coolest part, for me - was being a part of a forty-something silent 'group conscience' ... I mean, forty something people just looked at each other, and things were turned over to the oldtimers present, who did most of the sharing. Everything was 'overlaid' with alcohol, if that makes any sense. Compared with, but more 'overlaid' ... I apologize for not being able to better articulate what happened.

Well, I know what happened …
Spirit took over and reached out to help that man … that’s what happened.

I don't know enough about the official groups structural stuff to know if it's one of those meetings you talked about. I DO know, it's a meeting that the community most responds to ... maybe it's why it's evolved into what it has become - I surely don't know.

When the meeting was over, he was surrounded by the oldtimers, so I tend to think they were doing exactly what you wrote about - finding him someplace where more of his own problem is the focus and all that.

There are lots of meetings in town, all day long every day ... open, closed, men, women, book only, step only, oldtimer, all that. There's several that I go to during the week. They're different ... and I've tried to incorporate them into my routine as well. I like the different energies at the different groups. That's why i'm trying to get a group together to 'road trip' ... many of these more rural AA's don't get much traffic, and we all know how the newcomers are the ones who keep things lively. It's a plan for the spring and summer, of course ...

[mikel60]

Hey Barb,
That was a very cool share. I'm a straight up drunk - Jameson and Budweiser. When I came to AA most of the people who helped me were junkies. That was 11 years ago. God bless us- everyone. (corny,but true)

[barb dwyer]

good to see ya mikel !

where you been? hey - that kid got a job yet?
<g>

hope all is well ...

[GlassPrisoner]

Tonight, we had a small meeting. Maybe 10 people.

A newcomer annouced herself as a meth addict. She was pretty bad off emotionally as it was her 2nd day.

We all gave her phone numbers, hugs, advice, and suggested she also try and find a NA meeting, but she is more than welcome at any open AA meeting. And at the end she was surrounded too.

I hate to think what would have happened if it was a closed meeting, and she was turned away.....

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by GlassPrisoner

Tonight, we had a small meeting. Maybe 10 people.

A newcomer annouced herself as a meth addict. She was pretty bad off emotionally as it was her 2nd day.

We all gave her phone numbers, hugs, advice, and suggested she also try and find a NA meeting, but she is more than welcome at any open AA meeting. And at the end she was surrounded too.

I hate to think what would have happened if it was a closed meeting, and she was turned away.....

As I have said before, my home group's meeting is closed. We have people such as this newcomer show up, not knowing the difference between an open and a closed meeting. It is not their fault. In treatment they are told to go to AA "because a drug is a drug is a drug and it is all the same any way." So, we can't blame the newcomer. They don't know any better.

When such a person shows up, we do not turn them away. Our message not "go die." A few of us will explain to them that this a closed meeting for people seeking help for their drinking problem. I do not think it is unfair to ask them if they have a history of alcoholism. Bill Wilson describes this very thing in the 12 x 12 (Third Tradition). If they do have a genuine history of alcoholism, or even think they do, or even if they are not sure, they are more than welcome to stay for the meeting. We are not concerned with whatevee else they may be afflicted with. If they have alcoholism, they are in the right place.

If they do not wish to stay, or if they are not alcoholic, we offer them this-a few of us invite them to Denny's down the street and go there and have coffee and meeting. After all, they came for a meeting. Or we offer them a ride to the nearest open meeting, about ten blocks down the street. I have offered to take them to an open NA or CA meeting as well. I keep a few NA meeting schedules in my car. I know people with good recovery in both NA and CA and I offer to introduce the newcomer to these people.

What we do is not based in any desire to be cruel or exclusive. It is based in Tradition and in principle. Once again, I invite those of you who doubt this to refer to the literature. We have a wealth of history, both in written and oral form. A good place to start would be the pamphlet "Problems Other Than Alcohol."

Jim

[barb dwyer]

hey {{{jimhere}}}

I went to the aa site - and couldn't focus my attention long enough to click enough stuff to get to wherever to find that - do you have a link?

*smiles & bats eyes*

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by barb dwyer

hey {{{jimhere}}}

I went to the aa site - and couldn't focus my attention long enough to click enough stuff to get to wherever to find that - do you have a link?

*smiles & bats eyes*

barb,
I recommend the pamphlet I mentioned, "Problems Other Than Alcohol" as a place to start. You should be able to pick one up off the literature rack at a meeting or at your local intergroup.

Refer to our Traditions-particularly the long forms of the Third and Fifth Traditions. The long form of Tradition Three begins with "Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we should refuse none who wish to recover (from alcoholism)." Then take a look at those traditions in the 12 x 12. The pamphlet "The AA Group" is a good one as well. The Doctor's Opinion in our book defines alcoholism.

A six point definition of an AA group used to be included in the AA Group pamphlet. It was removed in 1990. The first two points are stated thus:

1. An AA group's membership is composed of alcoholics.
2. All alcoholics are eligible for membership.

So, contrary to popular belief, AA does define its membership. But it does not limit us as individual members in our personal Twelfth Step work.
Jim

[o2bserene]

I've read lots of good stuff here tonight. I am an alcoholic with several cross addictions. When I am at an AA meeting though, I am an alcoholic. I had to be taught this by the elders of the group ... when I got here I thought that drugs were my problem, I have since come to realize that alcohol got me into everything else. I visit the land of NA sometimes, but I work the 12 Steps of AA. It was the last house on the block for me, I'm glad they welcomed me home!

Di