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02-03-2007, 10:58 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| same planet...different world  | DAH Superbowl ...
Hi – I’m barb, and I’m an alcoholic. This Sunday marks my first Superbowl either sober, or not tending bar … in over ten years; and I’m grateful to realize … I’m PSYCHED about it. I was married to an alcoholic who, every Monday night, watched pro football … and drank at the least an 18 – pack before the end of third quarter. Every Monday night – I never knew "who" was going to be sitting next to me at the end of the game. Was he going to get violent? Verbal? Were lamps and objects going to start flying? Or would he just pass out in his chair and all would be ‘okay’ ... till next week. I couldn't know. I sat through many many games, and never really watched a single one. I always watched … him. Later, when I tended bar, (ex was long gone by then- but his ‘legacy’ remained) I’d get ‘antsy’ at the start of the third, and by the end of the fourth … I was usually drunk … if I was working or not …telling myself it was necessary just to ‘calm’ my ‘nerves’. But man – was I one ATTENTIVE bartender, drunk, buzzed or not. I WATCHED that crowd, y’all. Just waiting for someone to ‘twist off’; get mean, start something … and generally still unconsciously waiting for the spam to hit the fan. It never really did. There were a few incidents, but all put together weren't what somtimes jumped off right in my living room. Regardless, for years – drinking was the ‘only’ way I could get through a game. To this day, then …. I don’t have what anyone would call a ‘love affair’ with football. One of many triggers for me. I STILL get jittery during the third into the fourth. It’s a trigger I’m learning to manage … and learning to reverse; by using the Steps ... to turn a fear into a strength thing. I’m still pretty much ‘Helen Keller’ when it comes to all the technical jargon but the guys at the club seem to think my questions are funny …(?).. they actually try to explain things to me, until someone notices my eyes have glazed over... Many aspects still mystify me like - strategy - (just catch the thing and run around or through everyone else … what’s the strategy?) or about penalties - (hey- watch where you put yer hands, buddy) (see dat line? don't step on dat) (one foot two foot – red foot blue foot) … (don't touch me! don't touch me! he's touching me!) - first ... 'what' ...and ten ... 'what' - - ‘why do your guys keep throwing the ball to our guys?’ – ‘It’s called an INTERCEPTION’ (lol) – Line up … fall down … line up, fall down … - ( I call that ... 'turtleball') – (if you don’t want your hat grabbed, then take the handrail off the front!)  I’ve had actual FUN this year, and whoEVER wins… I think when it’s all said and done …. I’m the one who has done some winning. And by the Grace of God … a little healing. On Sunday – I’m co-hosting our home group’s Superbowl party at our Club. We're having the usual, hot dogs, (there’s something ‘special about a hot dog grilled … outside … at –10 degrees) ribs, pot luck ... games and stuff for the kids, you know ... same ol' same ol'...chips dips n' sodas... So, if you got nothing going on, and are wondering what to do Sunday afternoon – drop on by. We’ll be loud, (shoulda heard us at the playoffs) certainly not a glum lot ... but we’re safe. Thanks for letting me share. And thanks for being here ... so I can.
__________________  "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve."'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett |
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02-04-2007, 06:43 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Boston MA
Posts: 494
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I'm sorry Barb. I...I...um...just cannot share your enthusiasm for this meaningless event. I'm still reeling from that fateful evening two weeks ago when the cruel and heartless Peyton Manning crushed the dreams of Tom the Wonder Boy and my beloved Patriots. I just can't bring myself to watch ...enjoy...the tears are now clouding the screen... I can't go on...the screen is fading from view... woe is me... woe is me...GO BEARS!!
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02-04-2007, 06:46 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| same planet...different world |  that game ... was a good game Mikel ... I wasn't the ONLY one 'antsy' and pacing the floor that one! ...and chances are fairly slim it'll snow in miami ... we know how Peyton kinda falls apart in the snow ... (ya - like being 'kinda' pregnant) you scared me for the first couple of lines, dude .. I thought you were gonna go into the whole 'football is evil' trip ... *whew* the beauty of that game - the real gift ... was that the only reason I went to the club that day was because the commercials were getting to me. I knew I needed to be around other alcoholics 'right then'. So up I got and to the club did trot ... and watched a really great game. From what I understood, anyhow...
__________________ "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve."'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett |
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02-04-2007, 07:37 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| same planet...different world |
Carol - I used to have a bumper sticker when I lived in Ga - (and sub-contracted at CNN) "Go Braves! (take the Falcons with ya!)" LOL *flashback*
__________________ "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve."'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett |
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02-04-2007, 04:02 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 757
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I'm a Bills fan. Got my DUI after that superbowl in 1993. I was so distraught.... for a while anyways. THen I was again. Won't be watching it this year, unless they turn it on at work.
__________________ "I was violating my standards faster than I could lower them!" |
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02-04-2007, 09:38 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| same planet...different world |
*barb's face the first 35 seconds of the game*  LOL ! what fun. During the third (yeah, the dreaded third), I happened to look around the room. I was amazed at what I saw. I was surrounded by people who, for whatever reason ... were placed in my path by none other than the Creator It/Him Self ... all with the same 'disease' , all having had their 'bottom' experience ... yet at the same time, all were spared. All were laughing (well, ok maybe not ALL ... but you get the drift) all were happy to be there, celebrating what has come to be probably the most unimportant event in the greater scheme of things ... happy. hopeful. healthier. wow. What a world. after the game we all went upstairs for a meeting. What an appropriate ending for an altogether fab day. hope everyone is well ... and thank you all too! barb
__________________ "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve."'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett |
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