First Post

[D-Licious]

Hi,

I am new to SR. I am in AA, and have about 8 months of continuous sobriety. I usually just read other people's posts, but I am having difficulty today.

I have a great deal of financial burdens, due to the fact that 5 years ago, I basically succumbed to my alcholism and abandoned all of my debts and bills and adult responsibilities just so as to destroy myself, which is what I thought I wanated to do. I went on disability, as I had a psych history in addition to my alkie/drug issues, and they gave me a very small amt. to try to live on, which barely paid for alcohol.

Well, long story short, today the county govt. confiscated my disability funds from the bank, due to a lawsuit in county court, one of several against me for all of those bills i never paid while in detoxes, mental hospitals, rehabs, and briefly, homeless and in jail. But from what I was told, the govt cannot confiscate public benefits in a civil lawsuit, when a judgement is issued by for a creditor, at least, that's what I understood, so I am going to call the court and the levy dept. of my bank tomorrow and try to figure out what happened to my money, which I was going to use to pay a psychologist to test me so I can go back to college and get a good job.

I am working my way back into college, as I have only one semester left, but I first have to prove to them that I am okay, as I was kicked off campus during a binge the last time I attended schoo. I was drunk and high and was out of my mind, as I was not sober for 2 weeks straight. So the college thinks I am crazy, and not just a drunk and an addict, so I am seeing a psychologist who is testing me so he can provide the college with assurances. I have talked to him for one session already and he is a very nice man who seems to understand my dilemma and is willing to try to help me get back into college. It took me a long time to find someone who would test me and write a letter, as no one wants to get sued if I am actaully dangerous, which I am not since I got all the chemicals out of me.

I was never crazy, but alcohol and drugs made me nuts.

It is just hard to be in such a deep hole. I know I am resonsible for myself today, but I felt very sad when I checked my bank acct. and all my money was gone, money I use to pay what bills I can, as my debt is so great there is really no way to pay it until I get a higher paying job than the minimum wage ones I can get without a college degree.

I want to cry. I want to drink. I want to give up. But I know that that will only make things even worse.

I know what the answers are, that things are in my HP's hands, and that I have to do the next right thing. I believe that, too. It is just very lonely to be in this hole, as an adult, who is supposed to have things I do not have, as I was drunk and high and locked up for so many years.

I saw so much pain out there, in the streets, in the mental institutions, in the bars, in the jails, in my family, and sometimes it seems that I can't escape my past.

Thanks for listening,
-D

[CarolD]

Welcome D!

Make an appointment with the Legal Aid Services regarding
your frozen bank account. If the only money deposited
is your disability check..they can help and it is free.

It's great you are working towards a better future!

Blessings..

[chip]

Welcome D,

Congrats on 8 months! Some of us don't make it that long. This is a wonderful accomplishment and I hope you find true happiness and peace in your life. I hope you have another sober 24 hours.

I think the best thing any of us can do is to turn things over to our HP. It sounds like you are doing the best you can for your situation. You're making the right choice by staying sober. Carol gave some good advice about seeking legal aid.

Keep praying, and keep us posted..k? It's nice to have you post here in this forum, and I hope I'll *see* you around again.

Remember that you are not alone. Help is always near. SR and AA will help you get through these struggles. You can make it, if you stay sober. Here's some funny, but good advice someone once gave me: Chip, even if your a$$ falls off...don't drink. If your a$$ falls off, put it in a bag and bring it to an AA meeting.

I hope things work out for you. I will pray for you tonight.
chip

[Tazman53]

Chip, even if your a$$ falls off...don't drink. If your a$$ falls off, put it in a bag and bring it to an AA meeting.

Love it!! Great advice!

De-Licous giving it to your HP will get you through this, your HP works through AA bro. Do you have a sponsor? A network? If not you need to get them ASAP.

As chip said, you are not alone, there are a lot of folks in AA that have walked the path you are walking now, go to a meeting and lay it on the line that you need advice and help in this matter. Lay it on your sponsor, if he doesn't have advice he should get you in touch with those who can help you.

Above all as you already said yourself stay sober, getting high will do nothing but dig a deeper hole. Heck this may be a time to declare bankruptcy, I do feel though that if you can pay those you owe back that you will have a lot more respect for your self, but some times it is the only way to at least get back on your feet enough to walk.

You will be in my prayers bro.

[Sugah]

One thing you said, D, in your post was that you were going to use the money in your bank account to pay a psychologist for testing so that you can go back to school. When I went back to school three years ago, I was disabled (just coming out of a couple of years in a wheelchair). I had services through the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation, which I believe is a federally funded office. If so, you should have access to their services in New York. They pay for all necessary testing and any other services you might need, including application fees, etc., in order for you to return to school. Have you visited them? Those services are intended to get you educated and back in the workforce, so take advantage of them. You'll pay it back in the form of taxes later.

I wish you luck with your phone calls. I hate dealing with red tape, too. I made calls a couple of days ago to get a credit card replaced and change the long distance plan on my telephone, and that was a hassle, but it felt good when it was finished. I look to page 420 (452 in the 4th edition) of the BB when I need a boot in the butt: do what's in front of you to do, have faith in your HP, and it'll be okay. It'll be what it'll be, and you'll be okay -- just don't pick up a drink.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[D-Licious]

Hello,

Thank you all for your advice and support. It means so much to me that people took the time to read my post and respond. I called the courthouse, and the law office that took the money, and visited my bank, and what they did was legally wrong, and the money will be put back, it seems, but it will take time (plus the bank charged me 100 dollars for the "levy" placed by the county, but the branch manager of the bank seemed to realize that this was wrong, and I told him flatly that I would fight, legally, for that money back, as it was public funds that shouldn't have been levied in the first place.

But most importantly, I am still sober, and grateful that I am not drunk, and can be present for my problems today, instead of running away from the world and life all of the time.

I think it is in my HP's hands, as many of you have said. The legal aid and vocational rehab ideas are also good ones, and ones I will look into more deeply. The support is so nice.

I have a sponsor, who I talk to daily, and work steps with, and also am trying to develop a better network.

I will keep doing the next right thing, and getting my ass to meetings

Thanks for listening,
-D

[CarolD]

Good for you!

[miss communicat]

WoW D!!!

You really inspire me tonight. With all the difficulty you faced today that you kept your perspective and priorities in line. You did not drink, you stood up for what is right, you accepted life on life's terms and you are sober!

Way to go D!!

[GlassPrisoner]

Originally Posted by miss communicat

WoW D!!!

You really inspire me tonight. With all the difficulty you faced today that you kept your perspective and priorities in line. You did not drink, you stood up for what is right, you accepted life on life's terms and you are sober!

Way to go D!!

What she said

Hang in there. That wreckage stuff can be a b***h. Things will get better.

[chip]

Thanks for getting back to us, D. I'm glad things are looking up with the bank stuff. Things are always better sober, and you are an encouragment for all of us.

You have inspired me tonight too... Reading your story has given me hope that I can get through my problems sober as well! Tommorow, I'm going to take my ass to a meeting....even if it's in a bag! :-)
chip

[Tazman53]

D I agree with the others, you have given me a great way to start my day!

Glad to hear you have a sponsor and stay in touch with him and most importantly you are working the steps with him!

In regards to your network maybe you can expand it by doing for yourself what was done for me early on. I went to a step study meeting for the first time and they passed a "Where and When" around the room and all the guys put thier name and number on the back. Heck I didn't know what was up so I put my name and number on the back and passed it on to the next guy.

I hardly had any one in my network at the time and had a heck of a time calling three drunks a day and when that list went by me I was thinking to myself "Man I wish I had all those names and numbers!". Well at the end of the meeting the guy running it come up to me and gave me the list!!! Man you talk about my HP, God watching out for me, I was pumped!

If I was you maybe taking a "Where and When "and passing it around your next meeting with the reason you are doing it would greatly expand your network. I know my network is large enough now to where I feel like I am not calling some folks often enough!

[mcdo1268]

DL I was in the same spot 2years ago with the IRS. Any levy that is placed you are given 30 days notice and time to rectify the situation. Do the next right thing....remember it is not about a drink or drug today...it is about living the right way. Seek out legal assistance or accountant...I was fortunate to find them in the program.

[fraankie]

yeah, me, too

go to AA
do service
build a foundation
and
the time will come where you will see the light

do what you can
one day at a time
i know it seems so overwhelming
but a drink won't help


best
fraankie

[eagle38]

hey D:

congratulations on 8 months of continuous sobriety. you are truly a miracle.

thanks for posting your post and being honest about where you are at and the actions you took and the fact that you didn't drink or drug over it.
it is very inspiring for me to read that as well.

thanks again

[D-Licious]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for responding. I seem to have weathered this storm out pretty well. I have been sharing more honestly and openly in meetings, and am working on that foundation Fraankie talked about. I seek to act in accord with my Higher Power's will, and trust that, so long as I do the right thing, and do my best, and work hard, things will work out the best for me.

But I know that drinking and drugging will not solve my problems. Thank you all. Have Happy and Sober Holidays.

Thanks,
D.

[Tazman53]

D I am glad to hear the course of action you are taking, that is one thing many so not get about AA, it is far more then going to meetings, studying the BB, and not drinking for it to work, it is action I have to take to make it work and you are taking the actions, FANTASTIC!!!!

Merry Christmas D & a happy, safe, & sober holidays to you as well.