Life on life's terms

[mikel60]

Hi everyone,

I'm Mike from Boston, a former "lurker" now trying to be a bit more active. I posted this on another site and thought I'd throw it out here as well. There's some good sobriety here.

I'm sitting at my laptop right now thinking about my new life. I've been sober about ten and a half years now and things are getting busy. Last night was a case in point. It was Halloween and my two year-old (Sheila)and I had just come back from trick or treating. She's feeling a bit anxious because her new brother (5 days old!) is getting most of mommy's attention right now.

Anyway, the new baby (Liam) was crying for milk, Sheila was crying because she wanted to be held by mommy, and my wife was crying because the toilet had just overflowed. Things worked out - they always do, but I was thinking that I have to be mentally - spiritually - ready for life all the time now.

Right now I've got time off from work, but soon I have to go back. Then it will be work, school (I'm in school at night), home, and meetings. That's a full plate. I also have to worry about my health so some time at the gym is necessary. What I'm trying to remember is that God will not give is anything we can't handle. I'm hoping that increased online involvement may help with meetings that I may have to miss. Any thoughts would be helpful. I realize that face to face is better, but last night was a case in point. There was no way I could leave to go to a meeting with my home in an uproar.

How does it work for some of you? Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Everything I have I got from God and sobriety. I want to make sure that my eye is on the ball. Mike in Boston

[best]

Mike

Hello from the south shore. I do what I need do and cut out what I don't need do. I found that life was so busy when my children were that age...I didn't have time to think about drinking. Schedules were adjusted and what fit, fit. What didn't fit was put off. School Tuesday and Thursday evenings, work days...my wife worked nights. A cross over of our shifts was covered by in laws taking the babies til she came home.(one hour) Dad (me) did the 2 AM feeding. I didn't have any time to worry about drinking.

[fraankie]

well, it's true
the family needs you
a gift of recovery
so when you can't make a meeting
this is a good place for a mini-meeting

in a way,
sharing your experience, strenght, and hope
is part of the program


best
fraankie

[miss communicat]

Hi there Mike,

thanks for the thread and the topic of "life on life's terrms". For me, it also raises issues of unmanageability due to my alcoholic thinking.

"First things first" . I am always getting opportunities to learn MORE about prioritizing, and, as best said, doing what needs to be done and letting the rest go by. Here are my priorities:

1. SOBRIETY
2. FAMILY and LOVED ONES
3. CAREER

I have watched my life become unmanageable whenever I place too many unreasonable demands or overvalue #3 (usually its my career, because my ego thrives on recognition) upon myself. When that happens, the quality of #1 and #2 suffer. With stepwork and self honesty, I look at my drves and my motives and it brings me back to the hardest WORK: doing the will of my HP more...turning my life over on a daily basis.

That said, there ARE times in life that are just plain INTENSE. I pray for strength and wisdom to carry me through those times. Sounds like you are in one of those times. I'm glad you are here with us sharing about your thoughts.

Living an active Serenity Prayer daily helps me: Sitting in quiet REFLECTION and MEDITATION are essential for me to know what situations to courageously accept , what situations to change and ultimately, to have the wisdom to know the difference.

It gets smoother after a while. Thank goodness!

[Molendie]

Hi Mike. Thanks for sharing. I can relate. I just got married 2 weeks ago. Between a new wife, a 4 yr old step son, and a full time job... its hard. I dont go to anywhere near enough meetings. Ive been sober over 3 yrs thank God and I have to continue to remember on a daily basis that sobriety comes first. Thats why I read this board almost daily along with going to a recovery chatroom. That and a lot of praying and I am ok today. My balance right now that has worked for me the last 6 mo or so is.....

- 1 meeting a week (home group)
- talk to sponsor atleast once a week
- daily readings
- daily prayer
- online message boards/chatrooms daily

I SHOULD be going to more land meetings and I want too. One a week makes one weak. Its hard to find time with my wierd schedule but God is helping me through it. It's all about balance. I have to find the balance and once I do I will be ok.

[REZ]

I've been right where you're at. Life on life's terms can get very busy. I can get buy on 1 meeting a week, but 2 is better for me, and 3 is great too. When our children were young, I had to negotiate meeting attendance with my wife. Often I went to noon meetings so I could be at home at night to help with bedtime, feeding, bath, etc. Hang in there: you have been blessed with many gifts. Stay sober so you don't waste them.

[jimhere]

I don't live life on life's terms. Life's terms are about getting mine, screw them before they screw me, he who dies with the most toys wins, etc. Life's terms are pretty harsh. Besides, life doesn't terms, people make terms. So really life on life's terms is life on my terms.

I live life on God's terms, which is much easier.

[barb dwyer]

hi mikel -
about time we found out what happened with the whole baby thing! All week I'm thinking, was it a boy? a girl? was everything ok? geyah.

about the other stuff ...

let go ... and let God.

looking into your own child's eyes can be the most sincere prayer of gratitude that we ever make, you know?

I'm not sure a meeting can do better than that, when one remembers that it was God and AA that made it all possible to begin with? Or begin over? There's always the phone lists, too.

You made the decision to turn it over ... years ago ... maybe now it's one of those 'thy will, not mine' things.
Sounds to me like you're doing fine. What has your sponsor to say about it?

Congratulations ... and my best to the mother as well.

[mikel60]

Hi all,
Thanks for the replies and advice. And Barb, sorry for the delay. Mike in Boston