Why is so much anger - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

dan1958 · 09-14-2006, 01:45 PM

Hi all my SO has a drinking problem and refused my attempts to get her help so she has moved out of the house. This was her choice all along. Refused to see how bad she treated me and didn't want help. Long story short she is a mean drunk. Feel free to find my other posts on the friends and family site. My question is why so much anger againest me? She passed it all off to me having the problem and being controlling blah,blah blah. The problem is that I still love this woman and we never said to each other that we didn't love each other. I guess she loved drinking more then me. Right now I can say that the relationship is in limbo as she haven't really moved all her things out and stops by now and then to get something. But,she is like a time bomb with me. I think she is close to a breaking point is this a sign? I would like to hear if anyone out there had the same behavior with anger and the blaming?

Dan

**CarolD** · 09-14-2006, 02:25 PM

Sorry for the painful situation..
in my experience

Love does not win over addiction.

Take care of YOU...

collinsmi · 09-14-2006, 02:37 PM

I don't have a similar experience but it seems I get resentful and angry just because I'm awake. I don't think in my case anger, fear and resentment have as much to do with outside stimuli as I once thoght.l Some kind of fear at the root of it, may not have anything to do with you at all. THe only way I know for an alkie to get to the root of that stuff is with a good thorough 4th step (we tend to BS psychiatrists).

dan1958 · 09-14-2006, 03:01 PM

collinsmi You know I think its fear on her part. That she knows that she has a problem and her life is getting messed up again and she laches out at me or maybe its that she is backed into a corner so to speak?

FriendofBill · 09-14-2006, 05:32 PM

alcoholics hate themselves which render them incapable of displaying love to anyone.

Hate spawns hate.

Hate hurts.

jlo34 · 09-14-2006, 10:16 PM

Dan,
My hope is that YOU are getting help for yourself and entering YOUR OWN recovery. You can't do anything about her and her addiction until SHE CHOOSES to want help.

Work the steps and take care of yourself. When/if she gets sick and tired enough...she'll choose to change...and not a minute before then.

Jen

collinsmi · 09-15-2006, 01:10 AM

Maybe, Dan. My fears are layered. Under one, there's usually several more. She sounds like quite a handful. Ever try an al-anon meeting?

dan1958 · 09-15-2006, 07:24 AM

everyone thanks for your concerns about me Im getting help for myself with counsling. I trined one al-anon and It was for me. god bless

09-14-2006, 01:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
dan1958 Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 70	Why is so much anger Hi all my SO has a drinking problem and refused my attempts to get her help so she has moved out of the house. This was her choice all along. Refused to see how bad she treated me and didn't want help. Long story short she is a mean drunk. Feel free to find my other posts on the friends and family site. My question is why so much anger againest me? She passed it all off to me having the problem and being controlling blah,blah blah. The problem is that I still love this woman and we never said to each other that we didn't love each other. I guess she loved drinking more then me. Right now I can say that the relationship is in limbo as she haven't really moved all her things out and stops by now and then to get something. But,she is like a time bomb with me. I think she is close to a breaking point is this a sign? I would like to hear if anyone out there had the same behavior with anger and the blaming? Dan

09-14-2006, 02:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 16,037	Sorry for the painful situation.. in my experience Love does not win over addiction. Take care of YOU... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

09-14-2006, 02:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
collinsmi Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Springs CO Posts: 771	I don't have a similar experience but it seems I get resentful and angry just because I'm awake. I don't think in my case anger, fear and resentment have as much to do with outside stimuli as I once thoght.l Some kind of fear at the root of it, may not have anything to do with you at all. THe only way I know for an alkie to get to the root of that stuff is with a good thorough 4th step (we tend to BS psychiatrists). __________________ "I was violating my standards faster than I could lower them!"

09-15-2006, 01:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
collinsmi Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Springs CO Posts: 771	Maybe, Dan. My fears are layered. Under one, there's usually several more. She sounds like quite a handful. Ever try an al-anon meeting? __________________ "I was violating my standards faster than I could lower them!"

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09-14-2006, 03:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
dan1958 Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 70	collinsmi You know I think its fear on her part. That she knows that she has a problem and her life is getting messed up again and she laches out at me or maybe its that she is backed into a corner so to speak?

09-14-2006, 05:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
FriendofBill 1000 Post Club Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Recoveryville, USA Posts: 1,296	alcoholics hate themselves which render them incapable of displaying love to anyone. Hate spawns hate. Hate hurts.

09-14-2006, 10:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
jlo34 Grateful recovering alcoholic Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Blissfield, MI Posts: 816	Dan, My hope is that YOU are getting help for yourself and entering YOUR OWN recovery. You can't do anything about her and her addiction until SHE CHOOSES to want help. Work the steps and take care of yourself. When/if she gets sick and tired enough...she'll choose to change...and not a minute before then. Jen

09-15-2006, 07:24 AM	#8 (permalink)
dan1958 Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 70	everyone thanks for your concerns about me Im getting help for myself with counsling. I trined one al-anon and It was for me. god bless

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