Being sober and raising kids through AA... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

jlo34 · 08-20-2006, 05:31 PM

Gratefully, my children have never seen me drink an alcoholic beverage. However, they have seen my "alcoholic" behavior!!! They have seen me go through so many things in my sobriety, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Here's the awesome part...trying to instill the 12 steps into my kids lives. Teaching them how to use the 12 steps too!!! Sharing my life, my mistakes, my miracles and everything else with them. My eldest daughter has seen me go through a lot. My youngest too, but my eldest has been through a lot with me. The relationship we have is just unbelievable, granted, she is 9 (almost 10). She knows my life. She knows I have no secrets. Sure, there are things about my life she doesn't know yet; but I sure can share with her the poor choices I made as a kid and hope and pray that she can learn from them (or at least remember them).

I am so grateful for AA, not only for my own life saved; but also for enriching my life and the lives of my kids. It's really neat to be able to hand them "the good life".

Please share your thoughts / experiences....

Jen

**CarolD** · 08-20-2006, 07:12 PM

I agree...teaching the principles of AA is great!
I also have been open about my AA life.

One of the best rewards I have had in sobriety
was when I overheard a Grandson say..

"You outta talk to my G-Ma
she helps people quit drinking all the time"

Blessings..

mygirls_mylife · 08-20-2006, 10:15 PM

I really believe that the 12 steps are a phenomenal way to live life. I also plan on being as open with my daughters' as I can. Hopefully what I share from my drinking and drugging can keep them from going down the same path. My daughters are 2 and 5 and will not have to "know" their mother as a drunk. For this I am sooooooo grateful.

Thank you,
Star

upanddownjj · 08-20-2006, 10:49 PM

One of the most heart melting moments on my list of heart warming moments was a morning that I was sitting out in the garden of my AA girlfriends house reading my morning meditations..I was living in the suite there...
She and the kids came out to the carport to head off to school..the little girl said - Wait - we forgot the prayer..

They joined hands and begain

"God Grant me the Serenity
To Accept the things I cant Change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdome to know the difference...Amen"

They didn't go to church..But this single Mom & her 2 kids - LIVE the 12 Steps..what lucky kids

michski · 08-20-2006, 10:55 PM

That IS soooo COOL!! It's easy to imagine a 12 Step family! I love it.
Thanks so much for sharing that!

jlo34 · 08-21-2006, 08:03 AM

This summer my kids have had the opportunity to "go to a lot of meetings" with me. My 9 year old and I talk about many things, such as making good choices, what things can happen, spirituality, etc. When it comes time for the Lord's Prayer at the end of the meeting, my 4 year old stops playing, runs over, grabs hands and says the Lord's Prayer too.

My 4 year old and I have gone over many topics "affecting" our lives, such as death, spirituality, life and making good choices. I've been able to show them why it's important to follow rules and that adults have to live by rules too. It's kinda neat when they find out that even moms have rules to live by, whether they be state, private, public, or "God" rules.

They love having prayer time, just before bed. We begin with the Serenity Prayer, move on to each of our own prayers, youngest to oldest and then finish with the Lord's Prayer. If for whatever reason we are "rushed" to going to bed and I might forget....it's the 4 year old who reminds me first. Followed by the 9 year old. This has become a precious night time ritual for us.

Sugah · 08-21-2006, 09:45 AM

The Big Book talks of introducing our families to our new way of life without preaching to them. All four of my kids have been exposed to a lot of meetings early in my and my husband's individual recovery. I have many cute anecdotes about them spouting program slogans and referring to the literature, but the examples I treasure might not be seen by other folks.

Such as when they argue, realize their part in it, then make amends....

When they demonstrate acceptance of things they can't change....

When they help someone else because its the right thing to do -- not because they want something....

And when they live today, not letting yesterday's foibles or tomorrow's fears prevent them from soaking up every moment, knowing that it's all right here, right now....

I've been told I have "good kids." I don't have to be told that, but it's nice to hear. The program has been wonderful for my family, and I know that no amount of telling and instructing could replace the value of a good example. If I don't live it, well, they'll learn that, too.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

livefortoday · 08-21-2006, 08:40 PM

What a great topic. I'll never forget going to my son's preschool for the Mothers Day party a couple of years ago (I gues he was 5), anyway, the kids were just learning to write and all were very proud too have written some version of I Love You on the cards they had made for their mommy's. That card from my son still hangs on my wall, because right on the front, next to his precariously drawn heart, he wrote AA. I cried like a baby knowing my baby would grow up knowing the program and the many gifts it has brought into our lives. I am so grateful to have been blessed with the gift of sobriety!

jlo34 · 08-21-2006, 10:25 PM

Hearing about others' kids thriving with the program just brings tears to my eyes. I too, have been told I have "good kids". Yea, I know!!! They are great kids. My kids also are very kind, considerate, and usually very polite. They do things without expecting rewards. I'm really proud of them and grateful that today I can be a good example to them. I am also so grateful that I know I can encourage them to do as I do, not just listen to what I say.

One of my rules is that if I ask them to follow it and they see me not following it, call me on it. That really has empowered them a lot. Sure makes me a lot more careful about what "rules" I want to enforce!!! HA HA HA

Thanks everyone for sharing....anyone else?!?!?
Jen

08-20-2006, 05:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
jlo34 Grateful recovering alcoholic Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Blissfield, MI Posts: 814	Being sober and raising kids through AA... Gratefully, my children have never seen me drink an alcoholic beverage. However, they have seen my "alcoholic" behavior!!! They have seen me go through so many things in my sobriety, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Here's the awesome part...trying to instill the 12 steps into my kids lives. Teaching them how to use the 12 steps too!!! Sharing my life, my mistakes, my miracles and everything else with them. My eldest daughter has seen me go through a lot. My youngest too, but my eldest has been through a lot with me. The relationship we have is just unbelievable, granted, she is 9 (almost 10). She knows my life. She knows I have no secrets. Sure, there are things about my life she doesn't know yet; but I sure can share with her the poor choices I made as a kid and hope and pray that she can learn from them (or at least remember them). I am so grateful for AA, not only for my own life saved; but also for enriching my life and the lives of my kids. It's really neat to be able to hand them "the good life". Please share your thoughts / experiences.... Jen

08-20-2006, 07:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	I agree...teaching the principles of AA is great! I also have been open about my AA life. One of the best rewards I have had in sobriety was when I overheard a Grandson say.. "You outta talk to my G-Ma she helps people quit drinking all the time" Blessings.. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

08-20-2006, 10:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
mygirls_mylife Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: home of the liquid sunshine-Florida Posts: 294	I really believe that the 12 steps are a phenomenal way to live life. I also plan on being as open with my daughters' as I can. Hopefully what I share from my drinking and drugging can keep them from going down the same path. My daughters are 2 and 5 and will not have to "know" their mother as a drunk. For this I am sooooooo grateful. Thank you, Star __________________ You, LORD, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. -Isaiah 26:3

08-20-2006, 10:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
upanddownjj One Day At A Time Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: West Vancouver, BC Posts: 408	Children One of the most heart melting moments on my list of heart warming moments was a morning that I was sitting out in the garden of my AA girlfriends house reading my morning meditations..I was living in the suite there... She and the kids came out to the carport to head off to school..the little girl said - Wait - we forgot the prayer.. They joined hands and begain "God Grant me the Serenity To Accept the things I cant Change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdome to know the difference...Amen" They didn't go to church..But this single Mom & her 2 kids - LIVE the 12 Steps..what lucky kids __________________ Honest, Openminded & Willing IT WORKS !! (Ch 5 Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous)

08-20-2006, 10:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
michski Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California Posts: 972	That IS soooo COOL!! It's easy to imagine a 12 Step family! I love it. Thanks so much for sharing that! __________________ Fake it til you make it!

08-21-2006, 08:03 AM	#6 (permalink)
jlo34 Grateful recovering alcoholic Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Blissfield, MI Posts: 814	This summer my kids have had the opportunity to "go to a lot of meetings" with me. My 9 year old and I talk about many things, such as making good choices, what things can happen, spirituality, etc. When it comes time for the Lord's Prayer at the end of the meeting, my 4 year old stops playing, runs over, grabs hands and says the Lord's Prayer too. My 4 year old and I have gone over many topics "affecting" our lives, such as death, spirituality, life and making good choices. I've been able to show them why it's important to follow rules and that adults have to live by rules too. It's kinda neat when they find out that even moms have rules to live by, whether they be state, private, public, or "God" rules. They love having prayer time, just before bed. We begin with the Serenity Prayer, move on to each of our own prayers, youngest to oldest and then finish with the Lord's Prayer. If for whatever reason we are "rushed" to going to bed and I might forget....it's the 4 year old who reminds me first. Followed by the 9 year old. This has become a precious night time ritual for us.

08-21-2006, 09:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
Sugah Om, Aum, Ohm... Mini Pool 2 Champion! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh Posts: 4,596	The Big Book talks of introducing our families to our new way of life without preaching to them. All four of my kids have been exposed to a lot of meetings early in my and my husband's individual recovery. I have many cute anecdotes about them spouting program slogans and referring to the literature, but the examples I treasure might not be seen by other folks. Such as when they argue, realize their part in it, then make amends.... When they demonstrate acceptance of things they can't change.... When they help someone else because its the right thing to do -- not because they want something.... And when they live today, not letting yesterday's foibles or tomorrow's fears prevent them from soaking up every moment, knowing that it's all right here, right now.... I've been told I have "good kids." I don't have to be told that, but it's nice to hear. The program has been wonderful for my family, and I know that no amount of telling and instructing could replace the value of a good example. If I don't live it, well, they'll learn that, too. Peace & Love, Sugah __________________ There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done Keep me in your heart for awhile ~WZ ANS 01/29/86 - 08/04/08

08-21-2006, 08:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
livefortoday Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Hilton Head, South Carolina Posts: 37	What a great topic. I'll never forget going to my son's preschool for the Mothers Day party a couple of years ago (I gues he was 5), anyway, the kids were just learning to write and all were very proud too have written some version of I Love You on the cards they had made for their mommy's. That card from my son still hangs on my wall, because right on the front, next to his precariously drawn heart, he wrote AA. I cried like a baby knowing my baby would grow up knowing the program and the many gifts it has brought into our lives. I am so grateful to have been blessed with the gift of sobriety!

08-21-2006, 10:25 PM	#9 (permalink)
jlo34 Grateful recovering alcoholic Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Blissfield, MI Posts: 814	Hearing about others' kids thriving with the program just brings tears to my eyes. I too, have been told I have "good kids". Yea, I know!!! They are great kids. My kids also are very kind, considerate, and usually very polite. They do things without expecting rewards. I'm really proud of them and grateful that today I can be a good example to them. I am also so grateful that I know I can encourage them to do as I do, not just listen to what I say. One of my rules is that if I ask them to follow it and they see me not following it, call me on it. That really has empowered them a lot. Sure makes me a lot more careful about what "rules" I want to enforce!!! HA HA HA Thanks everyone for sharing....anyone else?!?!? Jen

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode