needing a little something today

[c'est la vie]

I've been irritable and discontent most of the day today. I started out good and even drove to a meeting, but started getting grumpy looking for parking. By the time I walked into the meeting room, I just turned around and left. I called my sponsor who suggested I just go and sit since I was already there and maybe I would get something out of it.

So many of the people with lots of years of sobriety were talking about how they still had to work the program and go to meetings to keep things in balance - they didn't just finally get rid of all their defects and voila. But I'm still grumpy and I think my sponsor thinks I just haven't really done step 2 and 3 honestly and fully.

I feel like I'm never going to get anywhere, yet I feel like I'm trying. I really do believe there's hope. I'm not drinking because I think I'll feel better in the future - even a little better tomorrow. So how in the world does one know if they've "done" step 2 and 3. Isn't that more of a process? The more you learn, the more faith you find, the more faith you have, the more you can open up to learn, and on and on?

anyway, on I trudge...

[CarolD]

I hate to trudge...I like to forward!

To change my mood..I pray

Hugs

[c'est la vie]

Thanks Carol. I needed that smile. I just shared it with my daughter and she laughed out loud and it's such a wonderful sound.

[best]

Originally Posted by c'est la vie

So how in the world does one know if they've "done" step 2 and 3. Isn't that more of a process? The more you learn, the more faith you find, the more faith you have, the more you can open up to learn, and on and on?

I use the steps daily so you could say I am in the program daily.
If I sit at home alone, I won't work the steps as I should. Coming to SR, going to church and bible studies, interacting with other people keeps my brain thinking on the right path. I don't worry about my drinking as I did when I first started this journey but I do use the steps for all areas of my life daily.
You are so right... recovery is a process and recovery is also a progression as well.
Crawl, trudge, roll, or what ever it takes to keep moving forward and soon we find that we walk the path and then find that we can run the path.

Step one... I have a problem.
Step two... I can't change the problem (even if I can step 3 is still a good idea to deal with any problem)
Step 3... Let go and let God. Even in areas that I can change things, why do it alone when God will help me?
The first 3 steps are a wonderful way to start the day.
Lord, there will be things coming into my day, some I can handle, some may be a struggle... help me with them all. Thankyou

[Shakur]

Hi c'est la vie,

There are days when I feel, and sound, and even act, like I've never even been to an AA meeting, read a single page of the Big Book, talked with a sponsor, or so much as heard of recovery, yet I persevere, and get through those days, and better ones come. I cannot feel or think myself into a new way of living, so instead I try to live myself into a new way of thinking and feeling, with action. In the words of Batman in "Batman Begins", 'Its what I do that defines me.'

(Batman is definitely in recovery, heehee)

Be Well,
Joe

[Sheryl85]

On days like you described, I have to stop and remember that although my disease alcoholism is in remission, I still suffer from occasional flair ups of the “isms.” They are “isms” not “wasms.” We have to do this maintenance stuff everyday, or I do anyway. Even after 21 years I still go to meetings, talk to my sponsor and do the daily-required maintenance. If I don’t, those restless, irritable, and discontent days seem to multiply. Stop worrying what you think your sponsor thinks. Ask instead. Clairification works wonders. The mere fact that you recognize that there is a problem and some of the symptoms is working on Step One. The fact that you put it in writing means you are trying to take action to identify and correct the situation.

Maybe this will help:
Step One identifies the problem.
Step Two identifies the solution.
Step Three identifies the action.

Most of all remember that we strive for progress, not perfection. God bless you and have a better half of the day.

[Music]

I call what you described as just being in a funk. I get into those once in a while when things just don't go the way I want. Then, I remember what one of my sponsors told me one time when I was driving and got in a hurry. I got po'd at the guy in front of me and my sponsor said, "well, maybe he just doesn't understand who you think you are." I laugh when I think about that. Step two is, "there is a God." Step three is, "He's in charge, not me." What helps me the most though is getting up in the morning and going to the gym. I do that strictly for me and I'm selfish about it. There's not much that comes before my gym time. After I finish, I've done something just for me for that day so whatever else happens.....happens. When I miss the gym, whatever else happens, sometimes pi$$es me off. Balance: AA, work, love and play. Try to get some of each into every day.

[miss communicat]

Thanks for this thread CLV,

I always appreciate your insights and honesty. It gets me moving (inward).

I read the greatest line in a post by Done with It in another thread, which I want to use as my new motto: "When you're going through Hell, keep on going!"
In other words, don't stop there. Let the momentum of your journey carry you further along.

I share this as much for myself this week (which has been awfully stressful!!) as I do for your situation.

There. I feel better. Hope you do too!
And, Music: I LOVE that line also: "maybe he just doesn't understand who you think you are". Wonderful!

[c'est la vie]

I had a good day Saturday but Sunday I was edgy and today I'm just not right again. I dragged my resisting butt to a meeting today but I don't feel better. I think I want to quit. I don't want to drink, I just want to not feel dependent on AA. Am I just giving in to the negative sterotype that anti-AAers have plastered everywhere lately that I'm a loser if I can't just stop drinking on my own? I wish I could just get to a happy place of acceptance and not look back. Maybe I should just stop reading online.

[CarolD]

I am not at SR to plead AA's case.
I am here to share the positive awesome way
of life it has shown me.

Do the work...you get the results.

Consider the source is a wise idea foor me.
I just pray for the nay sayers and skip forward.

Time for a Gratitude List?

Blessings to you and your family...

[c'est la vie]

Time for a Gratitude List?

Funny you should say that. I just had my daughter finish one while I borrowed the computer from her. I guess it would do me good right now.

There's so much in AA that seems so useful and logical and even can be compared to what's done in other programs so I just don't understand why all the negativity. Maybe the first thing on my gratitude list should be that I don't have the kind of group that the people experienced and had to escape and "deprogramme". I don't know.

[CarolD]

I have no idea who you are speaking about
or why their experiences are of value to you.

Look at your AA group. Are they losers?

I stay out of the arguements...it makes me sad.

Ever try this? Sorta a reversal Gratitude list.

I am gratiful that I no longer..
A. Argue pointlessly
B. Barf at the smell of breakfast
C. Cry in guilt
D. Deny my addiction


You gotta go to Z...no stopping!

[c'est la vie]

Angie wants to be sober today

Both of my parents are alive and care about me

CarolD cares enough about my sobriety to help me through this moment

[Grasshopper]

Ditto Carol.When all else fails[meetings,reading applying program to my life,praying},i go,help another alcoholic.Gets me out what i call the "rut" system,that i get myself into.

[CarolD]

Give me a minute....
We will begin a new thread...

[BigSis]

Don't quit now...