New to ACOA but been here my whole life
One of my earliest memories was when my grandmother took me to where my mom was staying, I was taking her some "church" clothes so she would come see me give a speech in a contest I won. I was about 10. When I got there she told me sorry, even if the clothes fit she couldn't come, because she was covered in "poison oak"/meth sores. Of course, I believed her rash story.
Fast forward to January of this year, I noticed my mom was getting these sores again. I asked her what was going on, she said she'd taken a Stacker and it made her feel terrible and whew! she wouldn't do that again. The sores never got better though. She eventually changed her story to it being bug bites that were infected from staying with a friend who had bed bugs. Last month though, my oldest brother was busted for a large amount of meth.
I asked my mom if she'd known he'd been doing it and she admitted she did. She even admitted to smoking it with him once and that she was "so glad when he went to J.'s house" because she didn't want to keep on doing it. I almost believed her. And then my brain connected. Here I am, repeating my 10 year old self and believing that my mother has clear METH SORES due to stacker pill taking bed bugs.
Only it's so, so much worse this time because my babies were in my mother's care at this time. Not constantly, but any was too much. They are safe now, and have been since mid May.
As for me, I am not ok. But I'm still trying to get there.