pattyj

While my mom hasn't openly drank a lot in front of me since I got sober, I can always tell that she's on something. Becoming sober seems to make you hyper aware of other people's drinking and drugging.
But yesterday was different. My mom was openly going through a huge bottle of red wine almost completely on her own. My sister in law has had some issues with drinking and joined my mom. I sat back and watched as they had a conversation about which prescription drugs you can get over the counter in Canada and how you can really take quite a lot more than what the bottle says you can. WTF?!
On another note, my parents are getting us kids together to discuss their will this week. We never have in the past but my dad is in his seventies and with no surprise my mom has medical issues. My mom gets tears in her eyes whenever she discusses us going over the will and it makes me feel guilty for rarely seeing her. But then she gets sloshed and encourages others to over do it on prescription drugs and all the resentment comes back.

Maudcat

Deep breath. Remember boundaries. Listen to what they have to say about the will and try to avoid drama. There is a reason why you don't see them much. Peace and good luck.

pattyj

Thank you so much! Yes, I have to remember deep breathing and boundaries.

tromboneliness

Are they likely to try to use the will to manipulate you, or set you kids against each other? If it's anything other than "divide it equally, everyone gets the same bread," I have to agree with "take a deep breath" -- they can do what they want, and any fighting will just make it worse. I had to deal with my parents' estate and empty out/sell the house -- it was a big enough pain even with a sister who was totally agreeable; if there had been fighting over stuff, I don't know what I'd have done. Good luck!

T

pattyj

Luckily the three of us kids are level headed and we get along well. The will is completely set out for three equal shares. Hopefully we won't have to deal with it for many more years but at least it's out on the table.