A Funny Coincidence
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A Funny Coincidence
A man called selling ticket's for the football club so I said I'l buy one as my cousin-in-law managed that team for years:
He goes, sure I know Ger well whats your name? I told him anyway and he said oh you are *my mothers* son? I said well yeah, but we won't even go there man and he says sure I know you since you were a child! I was married to your mother's sister for a few years. I go oh you're that guy!? I've heard about him over the years (my father used to always go on about this man and how my mother's sister left him suicidal). So I go oh yeah I know your name alright, I never really got on well with her anyway (which is true, just not close). He was laughing anyway and said its a long time ago now, and how are parents getting on?
So I said, oh F! Whatever they were like then they carried on like that for the next 20 years until they were eventually broke up by the authorities and all this. Sure I blurted out the whole lot to him in really blasé woah-man kinda way! I'm a bit post-stressed today which means I'm fruity as F but generally pleasant as is my nature. He was laughing anyway but said man keep it down you don't want the whole estate to know. I said sure they do know. Everyone F'n knows! I'm the last one to find out.
He was laughing anyway. He asked me about the other couples in it: I gave him the lowdown on everything. That they are sound but don't talk to my mother for whatever reason. Told him how she scammed me in the same way she did the father, I would assume that he might know that bit. And told him that there must be something wrong with her. He asked me whats 'yerwan' like here that I'm living with, the fathers sister. I told him the truth, that she's a bit of a wagon but not as bad as the other two (i.e. my mother, and his ex wife). He was laughing anyway. He seemed like a decent skin I must say, and I'm that too sure.
It was funny enough in the heel of the hunt. I'm sure he probably thought the same, and that's that. Life goes on. Yurt!
He goes, sure I know Ger well whats your name? I told him anyway and he said oh you are *my mothers* son? I said well yeah, but we won't even go there man and he says sure I know you since you were a child! I was married to your mother's sister for a few years. I go oh you're that guy!? I've heard about him over the years (my father used to always go on about this man and how my mother's sister left him suicidal). So I go oh yeah I know your name alright, I never really got on well with her anyway (which is true, just not close). He was laughing anyway and said its a long time ago now, and how are parents getting on?
So I said, oh F! Whatever they were like then they carried on like that for the next 20 years until they were eventually broke up by the authorities and all this. Sure I blurted out the whole lot to him in really blasé woah-man kinda way! I'm a bit post-stressed today which means I'm fruity as F but generally pleasant as is my nature. He was laughing anyway but said man keep it down you don't want the whole estate to know. I said sure they do know. Everyone F'n knows! I'm the last one to find out.
He was laughing anyway. He asked me about the other couples in it: I gave him the lowdown on everything. That they are sound but don't talk to my mother for whatever reason. Told him how she scammed me in the same way she did the father, I would assume that he might know that bit. And told him that there must be something wrong with her. He asked me whats 'yerwan' like here that I'm living with, the fathers sister. I told him the truth, that she's a bit of a wagon but not as bad as the other two (i.e. my mother, and his ex wife). He was laughing anyway. He seemed like a decent skin I must say, and I'm that too sure.
It was funny enough in the heel of the hunt. I'm sure he probably thought the same, and that's that. Life goes on. Yurt!
Disclaimer: my parents were not alcoholics in any commonly understood sense of the word. They drank a lot when I was younger and there were problems. I believe they made a conscious decision to drink rarely when we moved back here (my mother was wanted for questioning in the UK at that time for larceny and probably fraud also, again I was involved). On the occasions they did drink there were heated and mysterious arguments, and also a number of crazy incidents. E.g my father threw a vase at our tv once after a night out for them, another time he ripped every door of its hinges in the house. But I wasn't directly involved in those incidents nor was I the target. So, whateverest. Most of the time when they drank it was as good as life got with them.
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It's always a dilema for me when people ask about my family, those who knew me when. Most of the time I just blurt it out quickly, and then they ask about each family member, foos, etc. When I leave I feel like hmm, maybe TMI. I just don't have any pat answers to make it all go away. There is something just overcoming that draws it out of me. I understand.
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Haha, yeah. Now that I got some rest I was thinking like, wow. That was a whole lot of TMI considering what the guy asked me, most people might have given a more simple answer lol. But he touched on all the major points. My mother, my father, their siblings, my childhood. What was I going to do? Sure, I haven't even dealt with any of this stuff before but for on here. I'm the modern day lone ranger in my life, call me Max Freakout. What was I going to do? He asked me some unexpected questions and he got some very honest answer's for as best as I understood them. The whole truth and nothing but the truth! Cheers though.
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Considering that he was married into your family I personally wouldn't worry about it. For friends I just say that my family isn't close and therefore I'm not close with any of them. The details are unimportant.
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The details are somewhat important as I am still in the middle of it. However you make a good point. It's unlikely he is their biggest fan, from what I overheard he got a very raw deal in that marriage. The fact it only lasted a couple of years at a time when divorce was still unlawful or newly introduced is probably telling.
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I don't mean to minimize the relevance of details to you - just to others who are probably asking more out of curtesy rather than for interview (details) purposes.
When people who know my mom ask me how she is I just tell them that we don't talk often. Last I talked to her she was doing the same as she always is.
The details of my relationship to her aren't important, usually the person/people asking is/are just being polite or making small talk. They don't need to know that I've been no contact with her for almost a year because she's most likely NPD and that it all started when my husband's alcoholism started getting way out of control.... etc, etc, etc.
When people who know my mom ask me how she is I just tell them that we don't talk often. Last I talked to her she was doing the same as she always is.
The details of my relationship to her aren't important, usually the person/people asking is/are just being polite or making small talk. They don't need to know that I've been no contact with her for almost a year because she's most likely NPD and that it all started when my husband's alcoholism started getting way out of control.... etc, etc, etc.
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I'm not sure what I would be doing conversing with anyone who would ask me such a thing! Anyway, it's on my Facebook- a note about my mother and the consequences of her NPD- I guess it's a warning to others if anyone wants to be nosey or must know something about me.
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I do try to not blurt it out to everyone, either I withdraw or brush it over. Some people draw it out. It's interesting how many people do know that you wouldn't think knew. Then that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, like thanks for helping me back then and you knew, NOT. Being judicious is best but I don't keep secrets about my parents abuse.
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Yeah Kialua, sure I used to keep it a secret and kind of deny it to myself (and me reliving it all day in day out) I think thats what was driving me nuts. Trying to drink it away, and juts being frustrated at not being able to enjoy myself for so long. People has to know, sure it is was easier to suss things out from an objective standpoint and kinda difficult when you are stuck in the middle of it with all the conflicting emotions and whatnots. As for my Facebook note? It's actually a private one but I took it off private the other day because I sent it to my ex's sister. And told her that my ex needs to be ware of this. Because after me and my siblings who I have also told because I felt obligated and said look make up your own mind but you need to know this. After that, the only other person who really needs to know and understand what is happening is my ex. Because she is willfully putting the kid in the middle of it. I sent her some really good stuff around the work I was doing (the narcisstic grandparent e.g), I don't want to be in contact with her at all but felt it was my duty with my intention being that 'she needs to know this to protect the kid'.
She knows I have been through absolute hell with my mother in recent years she said it herself. I'm sure she knows some of the stuff about my father even though I never spoked about with her (and we together on & off for a decade) because it's well known, as for the rest I have never spoke about it with anyone. So I was really surprised when I brought it up in the court, about her bringing the kid to my parents place against my will and she scoffed at that! Very surprised. Thats why I sent the note to her sister, it's quite comprehensive for a short piece and not something i have jumped to a conclusion over. Well she blocked me! The cretin. Now I wasn't for a response or anything, I told her I am contacting her about one thing only and to not respond, that it was important that her or somebody made this clear unto my ex. Blocked me lol, I don't know what to say there other than F' those women man. One day I am minding all their kids by day and having a smoke with them at night, the next day then they are gas lighting me and because I won't play ball they all treated me like a leper! I've had much friendlier enemies over the years.
She knows I have been through absolute hell with my mother in recent years she said it herself. I'm sure she knows some of the stuff about my father even though I never spoked about with her (and we together on & off for a decade) because it's well known, as for the rest I have never spoke about it with anyone. So I was really surprised when I brought it up in the court, about her bringing the kid to my parents place against my will and she scoffed at that! Very surprised. Thats why I sent the note to her sister, it's quite comprehensive for a short piece and not something i have jumped to a conclusion over. Well she blocked me! The cretin. Now I wasn't for a response or anything, I told her I am contacting her about one thing only and to not respond, that it was important that her or somebody made this clear unto my ex. Blocked me lol, I don't know what to say there other than F' those women man. One day I am minding all their kids by day and having a smoke with them at night, the next day then they are gas lighting me and because I won't play ball they all treated me like a leper! I've had much friendlier enemies over the years.
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