Help and support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 22
Help and support
I'm am writing this from a very anxious state. I found out this morning that a friend of my mom's came and took her dog while she was out (assuming this was during one of her taxi rides to get more alcohol). This happened last week, a few days after her old roommate came and took out 9 bags of trash and a bunch of liquor bottles. I was told this morning that the dog was in bad shape, skinny, could barely walk bc of over grown toe nails. The friend also said there was no water in the toliets. So I made a phone call to the water company. Her water was cut off on March 31st.
Now I am waiting another friend to get to her house, then I am calling the cops and having them force entry. I have contacted Adult Protective Services and now they are finally able to get involved because of the water being shut off.
I am nervous and scared. The "what if's" are starting and I can't get them to stop. What if she's dead? What if she's near death? What if she's fallen? etc etc etc etc.
I am pretty sure she will be leaving and heading to the hospital, as long as she's still alive.
They have to take her now, right? She hasn't had running water in over a month, she's swollen and can't move very well (according to the old roommate who saw her last week). The friend that took the dog said there was no dog food or human food in the house. They have to remove her now, don't they? Hasn't she reached the point that it's obvious, even by the law, that she can't take care of herself?
Now I am waiting another friend to get to her house, then I am calling the cops and having them force entry. I have contacted Adult Protective Services and now they are finally able to get involved because of the water being shut off.
I am nervous and scared. The "what if's" are starting and I can't get them to stop. What if she's dead? What if she's near death? What if she's fallen? etc etc etc etc.
I am pretty sure she will be leaving and heading to the hospital, as long as she's still alive.
They have to take her now, right? She hasn't had running water in over a month, she's swollen and can't move very well (according to the old roommate who saw her last week). The friend that took the dog said there was no dog food or human food in the house. They have to remove her now, don't they? Hasn't she reached the point that it's obvious, even by the law, that she can't take care of herself?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
I hope the Adult protection services do their job. This will help to start establish a pattern. I don't know how much you want to be involved but they should know about the dog too, if the friend could call and tell them. That would help the pattern.
There is always that possibility that the alcoholic parent will be dead from their lifestyle sooner or later. It's something I was always prepared emotionally for. I don't know what will help you prepare emotionally for that, but I had made my peace with God and my dad even though it didn't result in a good normal relationship. I'm sorry this is happening.
There is always that possibility that the alcoholic parent will be dead from their lifestyle sooner or later. It's something I was always prepared emotionally for. I don't know what will help you prepare emotionally for that, but I had made my peace with God and my dad even though it didn't result in a good normal relationship. I'm sorry this is happening.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Berry, I am so sorry. I think all of us ACOAs tell ourselves that we are prepared and even expecting our parents' demise from alcoholism, but one can never be truly prepared for such sadness, and devastation.
I always think that I have grieved my AM for a long time and that I will feel mostly relief when she is gone, but there is a lot of guilt with that feeling, too.
This was a long way of saying, I am so very sorry.
I always think that I have grieved my AM for a long time and that I will feel mostly relief when she is gone, but there is a lot of guilt with that feeling, too.
This was a long way of saying, I am so very sorry.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, berry.
I know that losing a parent -- under any circumstances -- is like Kialua said, surreal. Even if you've known it's going to happen. Even if you've expected it.
Just know that you are surrounded here by people who understand. Even if we haven't been in your exact situation, we know the bundle of emotions that pull in different directions whenever a beloved alcoholic is involved.
Let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling. You don't have to name it. Just know that we're here and listening if you want to talk. Or vent. Or cry.
I know that losing a parent -- under any circumstances -- is like Kialua said, surreal. Even if you've known it's going to happen. Even if you've expected it.
Just know that you are surrounded here by people who understand. Even if we haven't been in your exact situation, we know the bundle of emotions that pull in different directions whenever a beloved alcoholic is involved.
Let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling. You don't have to name it. Just know that we're here and listening if you want to talk. Or vent. Or cry.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Berry...words fail. I'm so sorry.
Please remember that you are amongst friends here, and we'll support you in any way we can. Be safe.
Please remember that you are amongst friends here, and we'll support you in any way we can. Be safe.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
