Not sure if I should be in this room

[renee18]

my name is shana and I am 18. My dad is the alcoholic in my life. He has been since I was in the 4th grade or before 4th grade is what I remember. I am going to be a senior this year then off to college. I have low self-esteem and beat myself up about a lot things that i have done in my life. I love my dad but I have lived with it so long that it is hard for me to change myself. All I ever heard from my dad and mom oare you can't make it, don't try. that was stupid to do etc.. I am going to apply for college depite what my parents have said. But I am far from feeling good about me. Inside and out. I am going on with my life but I still have a lot of stuff I have not delt with. Please let me know if I should just say in the Al-Anon room post but this one seem where I should be. A little confused where I should be.
Love,
Shana

[Gabe]

Hey Shana,
You are most welcome anywhere you feel comfortable.
And I'm glad you're not listening to them tell you that you can't do what you want to do.
You go on and apply for college and don't stop there.
You keep going after your dreams.
It's your life and you deserve to be happy.
Hugs,
Gabe

[renee18]

thanks Gabe I have many dreams and goals in my life and i am going to do it. If my parents are there find but I am not letting them stop me from getting my dreams and goals. Never have never will

[Gabe]

Good for you Shana. You keep moving in that direction. It will take you to good places.

[ChillGal]

Hi Shana
Well you sound like you belong here. I think anywhere you get help is where you belong. You go girl. You get to college and follow your dreams. My Dad was A too. I left home at 17, got pregnant, and then went back to school. I have been a secretary in the government for 27 years. It may not be what my Mom had planned for me but I am proud of it. One of my sister's is a nurse, one is a lab technician, one works in a grocery store and is also a hair dresser and my brother works in an office in a prison. It doesn't matter what your home life was like you have your whole life ahead of you. You do what you want to do. If you really want it (college that is) you will get. You keep trying. You'll make it.

[renee18]

ChillGal,
Thanks. For the message. College is what I really want. I have taken my ACT and scored 18 and my G.P.A. is 3.25 and I do work hard for what I want. My parents don't want me to go to college but in the fall of 2005 I will be attending college somewhere and i will be living on campus and my mom does not want me to live on campus but I want to be on my own and get out of the crazy house for awhile I think it will be good for me. Today is going okay for me.
Love,
Shana

[mooselips]

Hi Shana,
You belong in any room you feel comfortable! We'd love to have you!
You don't have to belong to ONE room, mosey around, go over to the al-anon room....where ever....
BUT, you DO sound like you have the same issues we all have here, being a child of an alcoholic....

I envy you going off to college! What excitement, what a challenge! I loved college....although I also had NO support from my mother. I'm thinking those people that raised me didn't think I was quite as smart as I truned out to be...

Sometimes people, relatives, or even strangers aren't as encouraging as we would like them to be, but you know what??? Those issues belong to them, not us....we know better what we can, and will do!!!

Huge hugs coming your way!!!!!

[renee18]

Thanks mooselips,
I know I can do it and prove again to my parents that Ia m smart and can be on my own. I am strong and they may not think so but I know I Am I would of not made it this far if I was not strong.
Love,
Shana

[ChillGal]

Hi Shana
Maybe that is another personality of an ACOA. Prove to our parents that we can do it. I remember my Mom telling me I would have to go on welfare because I was single with a disable son. I did go on welfare but only for a year. But I went back to school because I wanted to prove it to them that I could do it. You can too. But you know what I think deep down you want to prove it to yourself that you can do all you want to. You go girl. We'll support you. Study, go to college and be all you are meant to be. Love and Hugs.

[renee18]

ChillGal,
Yes I do need to prove it to myself that I can do it. All of my high school years I have had a big support group of teachers and counselors that have helped me and after this year it the test if I can make it without them. But i do know that I have my Al-Anon friends still and this board.
Love,
Shana